A Birthday Post for Himani Sahni

This post is dedicated to an ardent reader Himani Sahni of Gurgaon who will be celebrating her birthday on January 31 – today. She mailed me yesterday and requested a funny post, so that she can wake up to something funny on her birthday. I am glad Himani happened to be a lady – I would have found little motivation in writing for a man!

Dear Himani,

I am writing this open letter for you because you have flattered me. Next time, I might not fall for your flattery. Suggest you try bribery instead.

Today, you are older by a year. Rekha and I wish you the very best. But if I were you, I would stick to my mother’s advice and not mail (or talk to) strangers. Here is a short story to make you understand the extent to which I would go to obey such orders from my mother. I think I was 14 years old. I was going back from school and badly needed to smoke. I walked up to a stranger, put my hands in his pocket, took out a match-box and lit my cigarette.

The stranger wasn’t too happy, “You could have asked me!” he said.
“I know. But my mother has asked me not to speak to strangers,” I said.

Before mailing strangers with such request, you should watch where you are going. What if I were a serial killer? I know…I don’t look like one but check with Rekha, my wife, and she would agree that I am a serial killer. Even last night when she was watching Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, I snatched the remote and shut the TV off.

I would suggest you straighten up and watch your step now. Watching your step becomes a big problem when you are old. You are old and wiser…but can’t stake a step out because you are too old!

Did you laugh at the above joke of mine? Gone are the days when he (or she) who laughed last was the winner. Today’s competitive World calls the ‘last laugher’ the slowest. Don’t wait for the proverbial last laugh. Use Revenge wherever you can. It is a good perfume used in the Superman series.

This doesn’t mean you watch the Superman series. Men wearing their underwear on their trousers can’t be trusted. Even if you do watch the Superman series, don’t be the kind who search the whole house for the TV remote instead of just walking up to the box and switching it on.

Am glad to know that you are from Gurgaon – the happening place in India. I have known the city since it was so small that its maps used to be in actual size.

My last advice for you – life is great. Don’t worry about avoiding temptations. As you grow older they will avoid you!

Related posts You might want to read:

1. Blog reader gets her fifth Happy Birthday post
   [This is a quick, late night post. Remember, I warned you!] People who grew up reading ‘The Hindu’ will remember a Tennis writer called Nirmal Shekar. He once, while describing one of the many Leander Paes’ wins in Davis Cup wrote: “When miracles happen too often, they cease to be miracles.” Very profound, I thought. [...]...
2. Third, Free Birthday Post
   How years fly by. Back then I was a dashing 30 year old, but now I am reduced to a weary 33-year-old man. Though dark complexioned, back then I was a heart throb amongst the dark skinned, relatively short Dravidians but now am caught in a vortex of tall, fair & handsome Aryans. I am [...]...
3. Celebrating my birthday in style
   The blog post is being written after attaining permission from Priyanka Khattri, a 22 year girl from Pune (now working in Delhi), whom I met up on my birthday. After I had initiated a search for ‘the birthday partner,’ Priyanka had responded via mail. Don’t go googling for Priyanka Khattri because, the first name has [...]...
4. Fourth free birthday gift
   I always wanted to be somebody in life. Somebody big and famous…somebody people rushed to meet…somebody people wrote to…basically somebody big. But I guess I should have been more specific in my prayers for God made me a funny blogger. Barring a few incidents here and there (mostly with credit card companies where I had [...]...
5. 26th of April is my birthday
   Other equally important incidents that have happened on April 26th 2002 – 19-year-old Robert Steinhäuser shoots and kills 17 people at his school in Erfurt, Germany. 1994 – A China Airlines Airbus A-300-600R crashes at Nagoya Airport, Japan killing 264. 1986 – In Ukraine, a nuclear reactor at the Chornobyl (Chernobyl) nuclear plant explodes, creating [...]...
6. Vishu visit – post interval story
   (If you have not read the earlier post please do so before proceeding any further) The thing about characters is that they remain characters – and spice up my visit to Kannur. Mind you, ‘spice up’ is not always used in the positive connotation. Since the movie ‘Vishu Visit’ is yet to release, I will [...]...
7. Today is my 33rd happy birthday
   The first birthday celebration of mine that I remember is when I was in class four and we were in Kholapur, Maharashtra. Those were the days when non-Maharashtrians could also live in Maharashtra. I remember my father taking me to a small time smuggler operating out of his house to buy me a nice pair [...]...
8. Protected: This post is an ‘A’ Joke and can be accessed using the password: “ouchmytoe”
   There is no excerpt because this is a protected post....
9. And then, one year flew by
   This post is dedicated to an ardent reader Himani Sahni of Gurgaon who will be celebrating her birthday on January 31. Last year, she had mailed me requesting a funny post as a birthday gift. I obliged. Today – one year later – she proved history and women to be similar by repeating her request. [...]...
10. On why I hate old men in post offices with a postcard in their hand
    I have to tell you about this gentleman I met in the post office. I being a man of old thoughts and beliefs was entering the post office to send some money to my parents. And it was near the huge red post box that adorns most post offices that I met him. “Sir, I [...]...

Posted by Jamshed V Rajan on Jan 31 2006. Filed under Flirting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry