Ouch My Toe!

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Some say that Adam got bored and asked God to give him a companion. Some say, God wanted Adam to sacrifice his one leg and one hand at the altar, if he wanted a companion. And when Adam requested God to give him somebody for whom he will only have to sacrifice a rib, God sent a woman. None of this can be believed.

Here is the truth: God made man and finding himself in good form…came up with a better creation – the woman. (Did I just hear the ladies clap?)

Anyways….I was wondering what would have happened if God didn’t make woman for man. Thus, all men were left to fend for themselves. Scary shit. Think about it….

How will we become fathers? Who will tell us the good news that we are about to become fathers? For whom will we sit outside a gynecologist’s and imagine a conspiracy theory being hatched against us? With whom will we walk in the evenings? Whenever we pass by a bakery, whom will we stop for? For whom will we shop? And the questions go on.

Now for the real Male Chauvinistic Pig part. Who will make tea in the morning and wake us up with a sweet smile? Who will scold us for taking the newspaper inside the washroom? Who will nag us to take bath early? Who will call up the office when we are down with fever? Who will iron our clothes when we are in a hurry? Who will wave at us when we race our bike/car towards the office? Who will be ready with piping hot coffee when we go back home? Who will help us with the washing machine? Who will make that tasty coconut chutney you like with your dosas?

Needless to say, with no woman in this World, life wouldn’t be the same. Imagine living with another man in your house. Scary! We all would be gays…and wonder how the human race will propagate. Perhaps…we would have found out a way to make test tube babies…but even then where would be egg come from? Gorillas? Wouldn’t that make the Human race huge and hairy?

On Saturday nights…the pubs and clubs would be full of men trying to woo each other. The only advantage as I see would be…we wouldn’t have to buy mock-tails, ice-cream and pop-corn to impress!

The next in a series of What-if articles…we will have “what if all men in the World were gay and all women in the world were lesbians”. Watch out!