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Some children are not as lucky as I have been. You could blame it on their parents.

While my father and mother taught me some damn nice things, I think there are various kinds of parents out there who would teach any darn thing to their kids.

Take Girisen for example – a very good friend of mine – who learnt something unique from his father. When he takes his dog out for a walk, they both use the same tree. I know what you are thinking… Girisen has stopped doing this since he shifted to Chennai. He and his dog are yet to find a tree.

Or for that matter take Nameet’s mother. She is quite a lady. I have met and found her to be truly domesticated. When she smiled, I spotted a black hole. Curiosity got the better of me and I enquired: “You must be only 45 or something but have already started losing your teeth.”

“Ohh…I lost that at the Leather Bar while trying to open a beer bottle,” she replied emphatically.

I remember her son (and my friend) Nameet giving me a look, which meant: Don’t pursue any further.

You wouldn’t believe it but there is a grandma called Rakkamal, who lives in Madurai, Tamil Nadu. I wouldn’t have known the 65-year-old Rakkamal if I hadn’t fallen in love with Shalini Natarajan when in college. With love come the chase-her-till-she-gets-into-her-house sessions. During one such chase, Shalini whipped out a AK-47 and said: “Why are you chasing me?”

First I was surprised. It is not daily that you see a gun-wielding damsel. The last time I had seen something like this was when I went to watch Angelina Jolie starred Lara Croft and the Tomb Raider. Eventually, I managed to say: “I am in love with you.”

“There are so many of you who say this.”

“Do they? Bastards?”

“I want you to leave immediately. Yesterday was my birthday and you have no idea what my grandma gifted me.”

“My belated birthday wishes. To hell with what your grandma gifted you…I am not leaving you behind. If you didn’t know, Darr is my favorite movie.”

Shalini immediately whipped out an AK-47 and pointed it at me. All hell broke loose…I was no longer the Shah Rukh Khan of Darr. Suddenly my favorite movie was Rajan or was it Raju baan gaya Gentleman.

Thanks to Shalini’s grandma, I ever did the chase-her-till-she-gets-into-her-house session again.