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I would have never known this but for my NCC friend Jayachandran’s decision to marry. I am glad his marriage opened my eyes to the ways of my wife. The connection? Read on.

Being a working day, we had to leave office early on Thursday to reach the marriage/reception hall by 7.30 p.m.. Since I was not dressed up to Rekha’s tastes, it was unanimously decided by Rekha that I get down at our house and change while she visits the nearby Archie’s showroom and buy a gift.

I remember seeing a glint in her eyes, when we parted. The glint could have easily meant: “Wow, I just managed to save Rs 500.”

Anyway, as were the orders, I went up to my house…took Rekha’s favorite shirt and changed. Some times she insists I wear shirts that match her churidhaar but I was glad this was not one of those occasions. When I opened the door I realized that I hadn’t worn a trouser. Rekha had never mentioned it…

For a brief while I wondered if I could wear a trouser. Would Rekha be upset? She hadn’t said anything about it. I dared to take the chance and wore a black trouser. But the story here is not about me wearing or not wearing a trouser.

When I reached Archie’s showroom in 20 minutes, they were packing the gift.

“What did you buy?”

“A nice little gift.” She said.

“I know you bought a gift, but what is it? Jayachandran is a good friend and this is not one of those…have-to-be-there-so-we-are-going type of marriage.” At times, I can get really rude.

“I bought ceramic cups worth Rs 300,” she replied with all the anger she could show in front of the packing girl. I even noticed her toes curl in anger.

If you are married, you might want to take a look at your wife’s toes when she is angry. Most of them curl…and those that don’t would have lost their toes to freshers out of the College of Pedicure, Mumbai. Just make sure you don’t go under the bed-sheet to take a look at your wife’s toes.

“I think the gift’s worth could have been the same as it was for your friend Deepa Christopher.” I still remember feeling my tears roll down my cheeks when Rekha gifted her a make-up kit worth Rs 1000 for her birthday.

“But Deepa is a very close friend of mine.” My wife replied.

“So is Jayachandran. In fact, he is a 10-year old friend.” I curled my toes inside my shoes. Pity Rekha couldn’t see them.

“I didn’t know you had friends who were 10-year olds? Wouldn’t that make this child marriage?”