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Did you know that Ouchmytoe has gone live with a Cricket Blog? If you knew it… great, but if you didn’t know it…don’t even bother….it is just a bunch of links put together for AdSense revenue.
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Today, I missed the Australian innings of the India vs Australia Champions Trophy match. As usual, Rekha was the culprit. It just isn’t cricket when your wife latches on to the cricket fever and talks all cricket. Whoever said, cricket was a gentleman’s game!
After the Indians had scored 249, the Aussies were just taking the field when Rekha walked into our drawing room. I still wonder why it is called a drawing room – is it because this is the room where all the rich and famous hang their drawings? Anyway, Rekha walked into the room and demanded for the remote.
“Why do you need it? I am watching cricket.” I replied with my eyes still glued to the television. Perhaps because looking at a just-out-of-bed wife isn’t a great sight.
“There is a Mammootty interview on Surya TV and I need to watch it.” For those who don’t know, Mammootty is a movie star in Kerala – the State Rekha belongs. And Surya TV is the one of their popular TV channels.
“Rekha, you know that I love cricket.”
“Rajan, you also know that I love the movie star Mammootty.”
“Since you love me too, why don’t you watch me watch cricket?” When I am angry, I can be nasty.
The problem with wives of two years is that they get nastier when angry. “Since when have you become interested in play?” she smirked even as she completed her question.
Wives can give their husbands a tough time by asking questions which can be interpreted in many ways. Like the proverbial wife question, “Am I fat?”
Anyway, I didn’t answer because I didn’t know which play she was referring to – Cricket? Drama? Or the third type of play which I am sure my wife won’t let me write here. Mind you, the third type of play is not replay.
“Why don’t you answer me?” She was being adamant.
I gathered courage and said: “I don’t reply to silly points.” Wonder why, but I think I had started to show off my cricketing supremacy.
Rekha seemed to take the hint and answered with another cricketing term. She said: “Now you are driving for cover.”
I took my eyes of my wife…I am sure all husbands out there agree that it is hard to think with one’s eyes on one’s wife….and thought about my options. I could bowl the maiden over (that would be my wife) and watch cricket now or I could declare now and be a night watchman and watch the highlights.
“Sorry Rekha, I need to watch this match. I would look like a fool when my boss discusses this in office tomorrow.”
“You are testing my patience. I appeal to you to give me the remote.” This argument was turning out to be like Antakshari. As soon as one had finished, the other had to begin.
“Aren’t you also crossing the boundary?” I demanded to know.
“I have a feeling you are pulling me into a fight.” It was Rekha’s time to demand a clarification.
“If you can just sweep and keep yourself engaged for a good length of time, I wouldn’t pull you into a fight.” I purposefully spoke like an MCP, so that Rekha knows that I am not always cheese but can be chalk too.
“As a last resort you turn into an MCP – huh? Just because I caught you sitting like a duck in front of the TV?”
While I claim to be a stand up comedian in the making, I get upset when somebody makes fun of me. More so if the joker (shouldn’t the person who cracks the joke be called a joker?) calls me a Duck, a Kangaroo or a Kiwi.
“Rekha, duck talk is a strict no. Keep the remote, but don’t call me a duck.”
As always, I had lost this time too. Even as I walked away, I turned and said: “Bye.” Through the corner of my eye, I saw the Indians giving away a leg-bye four to the Australians.
23 Comments
very interesting post. unlike the cricket match it is related to. i voluntarily gave the remote to my wife once indian innings was over, for i knew what was coming once australian innings start.
benefits? well 2 of them.. i saved myself from the agony of watching likes of dinesh mongia tryig to get ponting out.
second.. i just made way into the good books of my wife. she reciprocated and made an extra tea for me.
it sure has become gentlemen games after mandira bedi started her extra innings
my maha ustad husband took us to baskin robbins for ice cream and he watched cricket over there…
I dont know how U survive @ home after writing all this ???
It is supposed to be a “gentle”man’s game!!..like a gentleman, you should have just kept quiet till the match got over instead of resorting to slinging!!..I guess Rekha did a Mcgrath - induced into a verbal duel,got you disturbed, and bowled an off-cutter to you!!
Hahaha Ditto at my place only addition was my 7-year daughter was yelling at me that whole day I was only watching Match. She wanted to watch Repeat telecast of Saregama lil champ final, which I showed her live on Saturday. I gave her remote and also told that India lost because she has not allowed me to watch the match. I have strong doubt that some strong enemy of mine influences my daughter. You guess it right…
Hi, As long as you had your rediff blog for Ouch my Toe! I had no problem in reading your weblog. But now I feel it would not be worthy to subscribe to your blog. If you thought that providing partial feed would increase page views and ad sense revenues, I promise you to visit your webpage now and then and click on adsense, but please provide full feed. It feels pain to click every time to view the articles
nina, i think mandira bedi’s extra innings are not really extra this time. the way they used to be at the time of world cup and all “gentlemen” here will agree with me.. what say guyz?
I agree with wrongone!!..:)..I suppose she’s realised that it takes more of statistics and cricketing knowledge to host a cricket show, than the latest in the fashion world!
I remember watching an article sometime back in USA, a husband wanted to watch the baseball match and wife always comes with a work. So he rents a place and has is TV,Sofa and all set up and often goes there. The wife becomes suspicious and thinks there is another gal in his life and follows him one day and finds out he is in a place just to watch this TV
Mirror: the episode U mentioned was from a serial called “king of Queens”
the guys rents out a apartment, has tv, sofa & everything and has a great time with his friends watching sports, having beer & ordering chinese.
wrongone: I wonder why you husbands are so mean - why should you look for benefits in such small acts as giving the remore to your wives. Look at me…an husband who is at peace with his wife
Nina: Jammy laughs at “Gentleman’s game after Mandira Bedi came in”…how come I missed that line. It should have been part of the Ouchmytoe write up.
Anand: Mate it is easy…just read this book titled: “Hundred & One ways to say “I am Sorry”"
Rishi: She sure did bowl an off cutter …and just when I was bowled over…forced me into marriage.
But Rishi…from your comments it looks like you are biased towards my wife
Rakesh Bhandari: Hi mate…long time?
Your daughter sure can join politics. Moreover, today’s daughter is tomorrow’s wife…so you can’t blame your daughter! I guess, all women and women in the making are like this.
Prasanna: Buddy, good you brought it to my notice.
Will have the full feed sent across fom now onwards. While I stick to my word, you better stick to yours… think adsense and banners!
wrongone: I totally agree with you. So much so, even my wife said that Mandira Bedi should get back to her original form - the one with noodle straps and revealing sarees! Gentleman’s game, they say…
Rishi: Did you mean vital statistics?
Mirror: I could do with one such apartment in the heart of the city (so that my wife can’t come there)
Anand & Mirror - maybe we can take an apartment and share the costs…but then, do we all like the same sport?
May be you should ask my husband not me
Thanks rajan, sure I will
I watch all sports, where I get a chance to grab a bottle(s) of beer.
BTW can I get a RSS feed of your comment section. would be easier to read.
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