Flirting
Flirting with an air hostess with a baby in hand
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If you have been following my escapades with air-hostesses here, here & here…you will like this write-up as well.
Rhea, Rekha and I left Gurgaon on Wednesday morning and reached Madurai in the evening – all for 3-4 days of Diwali celebration with friends & relatives. Since Air Deccan doesn’t ask its patrons to buy tickets for infants we took along our 8 month old baby daughter.
By the time we had checked in, my daughter had given me enough indications about her career path – she was smiling at every Tom, Beep & Harry – like a true blue air hostess. For a moment, I did accept that as a career option for my 8-month-old daughter but when I realized that she would be exposed to 32-year-old, sex-starved men, shamelessly staring at her even with their wives in tow…I started having second thoughts. Even as I type this, I am thinking of a good career option for my daughter. The good old middle class dream – a District Collector maybe?
Carrying a baby isn’t all that bad, for an Air Deccan ground staff (why do girls look so pretty in red? BTW, if you didn’t know…after Kingfisher tied-up with Air Deccan…both the airlines share the same uniforms, facilities and principles) asked us to wait for a personal shuttle to drop us near the airplane. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as personal as one would have thought for when we boarded the shuttle, there were three women above 60 and one man above 65 waiting for us – and we aren’t talking of their weights in Kgs.
While boarding the plane, I caught one airhostess named ‘Deepti’ eyeing my broad shoulders and perhaps saying to herself: “How good would it be to just place my head on them and feel safe and secure?”
We wouldn’t proceed further on the issue because I caught this air-hostess eyeing another handsome man soon after. Note to self: Check if ‘misleading’ is a synonym for ‘Beauty’.
As we settled down, the two airhostesses and one lonely male cabin crew member gave away the emergency instructions. I wonder if these instructions are really useful…I remember hearing them patiently during my first 2-3 tips…but have given up on them now. I have two concerns on these instructions:
After sitting through the emergency instructions session which seemed longer than a Liciano Pavarotti opera, a pretty air hostess walked up to me. Even if I had my eyes closed, I would have told you that she was 36-28-36 (whatever that means!) by the micro seconds it took between two heel digs on the floor.
As I closed my eyes in prayer, this girl said: “Sir, is she your daughter?”
“I said yes.” It felt sad to be breaking her bubble, but I didn’t like the thought of she kissing me in front of my wife.
“Would you be carrying her while the flight takes off?”
“I said yes.” I wish, I could have said, “Hey, I am just kidding…she isn’t my daughter…I am just holding my co-passenger’s daughter” - and point towards Rekha.
What I heard next, was a message from heaven. She said: “Sir, to avoid discomfort during flight takeoff and landing I suggest breast feeding.”
I looked at Rekha, and she was busy thumbing through the shopping options in the in-flight magazine.
I turned towards the air hostess, gave her my hundred dollar smile and said: “Great, so where do we meet as soon as the lights are switched off for the take off? Do you really want to do it at the time of landing as well?”
After 13 minutes:
Wonder why…when I asked for cotton for my baby’s ears (when she started crying during the take off) the same air hostess refused to acknowledge my existence!
Other Flighty Reads
# Difference between a train & an aeroplane - a guide for the first time flyer
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 1
# The Kingfisher Class – Part 2
# Traveling by Kingfisher Airlines
# Inside the Jet Airways flight
# Reporting straight from the Bangalore Airport
# Cheap airlines and cheap thrills
Discussion
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Good one Jammy.
Jammy,
Happy Diwali to you,Rekha and Rhea. Great post. I liked the the Tom,Beep and Harry,bit. What is your zodiac? Must be sign of the Air (Gemini/Libra/Aquarius). Any post on air hostesses are brilliant.
Hahahahaha…
hehehehehe…
Nice one mate…
Just one question, how did u know tht air-hostess’ name was Dipti? And how cud u read her thoughts?
lol, yeart@you saying those dialogs to her! Making out while landing indeed.
In any case, guys with babies in their arms are definite magnets for chicks. They are safe, experienced and know how to treat a girl gently. Or so I am told.
Boy… I can’t imagine how one ( actually two) can finish it up in 13 mins flat.. *wink* *wink*
Amazing that you weren’t thrown off the plane by Rekha & the airhostess!:-)….As an afterthought,I hate Air Deccan,the one time I flew with them,I had a horrible experience!
Funny Funny ..
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Dear Warlock, thanks. appreciate you bothering to leave a comment. may i request one thing: next time…please leave a comment only if u feel dissatisfied with the article.
*This way, i can say that all the non-commentors (99% of the readers) are satisfied with the funny quotient of the article
Thanks PRG…have passed on your wishes to Rhea and Rekha. You know its easy to identify you…all I got to say is: “PRG…the guy to whom I owe Rs 500/-!”
Arshat…i checked out her name tag. While on name tags…their placement seems to be an international conspiracy by the men. Why do you think pretty women are asked to wear their name plates above the pockets? An excuse for staring?
“Sir, aren’t you staring?”
“No Madam, I am just trying to figure out your name.”
“Sir, that doesn’t take more than 10 seconds but you have been staring for last ten minutes.”
“I know…but I was just practicing how D-I-A should be pronounced.”
Rads…totally. In fact…i am just wondering if i should change my nickname from ‘jammy’ to ‘Chick Magnet’.
The future seems all the more rosy, what with meeting single, married mothers who will bring along their daughters/sons for Piano lessons, Music classes, karate sessions etc
WrongOne….to give you an anology…
Think of Godfather…with all his experience (and age), he needs only 30 seconds to finish off a man (or woman)…..but a new recruit will need days of planning and days for execution.
Moral of the story: If one (or two) people can finish it in 13 minutes flat…pls don’t make fun of them. For all you know…they are lying about the time or lying all the time…if you know what I mean!
Shravanthi…as for why i wasn’t thrown out of the plane…I had actually taken some ‘air’ hostess and held the cabin crew at bay!
BTW, Air deccan is better now a days…looks like the King Fisher deal has had a rub off…
Sure Jammy. Anyway, Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year.
lol!u managed to infuse humor into the comment section 2!amazingg…keep it cming!I have become so addicted to ur blog!
Arent men asked to wear their nametags above their pockets too? Pls Jammy, some insight
Arshat, pls don’t fall for that…thats a decoy. But wait till there are enough women in the uniformed services…men’s name tags would be on their bums!
“Can you please turn a bit…i didn’t quite get your name?!”
Dear Warlock…happy Diwali to u too…though a bit belated
I happened to read this blog and you know why i have replied to it… dont you??
Really good and really interesting post. I expect (and other readers maybe :)) new useful posts from you!
Good luck and successes in blogging!
sex to amateur amateur sex a
looking for job in get airways as a airhostes
Oh, wonderful!
We expect more and more interesting and helpfu posts as same from you!
My compliments!
want 2 become airhostess
want to become airhostess i want to know that is kingfisher institute of airhostess training is going to open in ahmedabad?
lol
I AM A STUDENT OF M.COM.I want to know that is kingfisher institute of airhostess training is going to open in ahmedabad? but I belive kingfisher institute.
HI SIR HOW ARE YOU IAM FARIS 18 M KASARGOD IAM INTERESTED THE air hostess COURSE PLZ HELP ME
My girlfriend did a course of one year in a recognised training centre. Will you refer me some well job Prospects, techniques or any web site so that i can help her. Please try to provide me your kind help to help.