A Dog’s life, this

At the drop of a hat we use the phrase, “a dog`s life.” When somebody asked, “So how is it going?” I would reply, “It has been a dog`s life.”

All the while I never thought how a Dog`s life would be. Now when I think…I shudder.

He would get up in the morning, i.e., if he were not run over by drunken lorry drivers, when he was sleeping on the road. No brushing of teeth or taking a bath. No prayers required.

He could go to the nearby tea-shop and stand there pleading some kind-looking soul. If he obliges, our Dog would have a biscuit to ward off the early morning hunger.

For lunch, the Dog will go looking for a non-vegetarian hotel where they throw away the chicken or mutton waste out in the open. In India, there are many such hotels, and our protagonist has a good meal. Of course, he has to use his survival instincts to beat the street-corner beggar who is also looking for some protein-rich diet.

A fulfilled, yet thirsty Dog would go looking for drinking water. If it were a Chennai Dog, it is doomed. But thanks to the Public Works Department, the Dog will find bowls (read potholes) of rainwater on the road. After a brief fight with other stray Dogs, ours hopefully wins and gets a drink.

In the evening, the dog takes a trip to the butcher shop. When the butcher closes the shop, he throws away the day`s waste on the road. While the Dog mafia decides on what to do with the loot, if our Dog can reach there in time…he could have a bite. Just the right snack for a tiring day.

There is very little dinner involved in a Dog`s life. The sewer-water, which is difficult to identify in the dark is drunk. It is the Dog`s equivalent of a beer. And a tipsy Dog goes to bed…God knows on which road.

Actually…come to think of it…it sounds like my life. Pleasing my bosses for a lone salty biscuit. Doing stuff that I don`t like doing for that odd piece of mutton, and trying to be in the good books of the mafia (my wife Rekha).

I am having a Dog`s life. Or am I a Dog?

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