Top 25 Arvind Kejriwal Jokes on Twitter, Facebook

2 years ago by in Current Affairs Tagged: , , , , ,

arvind kejriwalArvind Kejriwal has become the butt end of all jokes in recent times. Why not…in his enthusiasm, he has been creating a lot of opportunities for jokes. So here goes a list of jokes on the man who is currently ruling Delhi.

Joke 1: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he actually tests the level of salt in Colgate Active Salt tooth paste

Joke 2: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he never skips Youtube ads

Joke 3: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he always removes USB safely

Joke 4: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he finds the bomb he returns it to the terrorist

Joke 5: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he got his wife’s brother arrested for stealing his shoes during his marriage ceremony

Joke 6: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he cooks maggie only for 2 minutes

Joke 7: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he actually “rolls on the floor laughing” when he texts ROFL

Joke 8: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he finds an “honest” justification to turn back on every promise he ever made

Joke 9: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when his wife once asked him if he could get moon for her, he called up ISRO to launch Chandrayaan-1

Joke 10: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he hates the song ‘love the way you lie’

Joke 11: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that once he filed a case against a Halwai because there were neither Gulabs nor Jaamuns in GulabJamun.

Joke 12: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that whenever he downloads a movie online, he buys a ticket to see it

Joke 13: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that no woman has ever asked him “Do I look fat in this?”

Joke 14: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he seeks his wife permission to keep extra marital affairs.

Joke 15: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he gives you a business card that says “nobody”

Joke 16: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he likes Shakira’s Hips because “They Don’t Lie”.

Joke 17: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he surrenders himself to Police after killing a mosquito.

Joke 18: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest He refused to watch Bodyguard because he does not want security.

Joke 19: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he is the only one to buy a Winrar licence.

Joke 20: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he throws a party he calls the cops himself after 10 pm

Joke 21: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he told his kids “How I met your mother” in less than a minute

Joke 22: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that he got his memory card arrested when it got corrupted

Joke 23: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that when he was a kid, he clicked on “I am below 18 years” on porn websites.

Joke 24: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if u find meaning of Honesty on Google it will say “Did u mean Kejriwal”

Joke 25: Arvind Kejriwal is so honest that if he skip red-light by mistake, he take a U-turn to stop before Red light

9 Responses to “Top 25 Arvind Kejriwal Jokes on Twitter, Facebook”


sundar
January 14, 2014 Reply

ayyoo.. thaanga mudilla oppicer!!

raju aji
March 25, 2014 Reply

kejriwal CIA agent hai

mujibur
March 25, 2014 Reply

Raju Aji , teri G**d Baji.hahahahhaha

hemen parekh
January 14, 2014 Reply

Transferring Cancer ?

Arvind Kejriwal’s order to transfer 800 officers of Delhi Jal Board to other departments , is like trying to cure cancer by transferring it from one part of the body to another part !

At worst , these officers will end-up spreading their corrupt practices to those other departments

At best , those other departments now will have , twice to thrice the number of tables to push the files around !

Their current departmental efficiency / productivity of 10 % will further go down to 5 % !

Perhaps , in the short term , Arvind had only this alternative to send out a message

What should he do next ?

Here is a suggestion :

> Invite National Productivity Council to carry out TIME & MOTION studies
and WORK-SAMPLING studies , to set STANDARD TIMES for all activities
/ processes

> Get IIT -Delhi , to monitor the individual and departmental efficiencies
( Ratio of Actual Times / Standard times )

> Publish findings on Delhi Government web site

> Get IIM-A , to develop / install , a Performance Appraisal System based
on ANNUAL OBJECTIVE SETTING exercise for each officer
( MANAGEMENT BY OBJECTIVES )

> Incorporate , elements of ” Self Appraisal ” / ” Superior Appraisal ” and
” Peer Appraisal ”

> Serve ” Show Cause Notice ” to those officers whose productivity is less
than 80 % of the standard in any quarter

> In Service Rules incorporate a clause to terminate the service of a officer
whose productivity falls below 50 % for two consecutive quarters

Over the next 12 months , this exercise should be carried out for all the departments of Delhi government

This is a pre-requisite to the introduction of Guaranteed Delivery of Services Bill

DEAR ARVIND

Cancer cannot be cured by transferring it from one part of the body to another

The affected part must be amputated !

* hemen parekh ( 14 Jan 2014 / Mumbai )

hemen parekh
January 20, 2014 Reply

Thank you , Rajdeep Sirdesai !

Thank you for conducting that brutal interview of Arvind Kejriwal , Saturday evening

Normally , Arvind is a very reticent fellow

But you managed to rattle him !

But for your penetrating questions , Arvind would not have volunteered to reveal on his own , the following :

> RESERVATION OF 90 % SEATS

– It is only for 28 colleges which are partially or fully funded by Delhi
Government

It is for ANY student ( from any state of India ) , who passes his / her
10th standard from any Delhi school

> FREE WATER

– Only 20KL per month is free

Our goal is to ” Reduce Consumption / Conserve ”

Hence it makes sense to charge those who continue to consume more
than 20 KL .

If they want FREE , they must cut back on consumption !

Again it makes lot of Economic Sense , to give water free , only to
those who have meters

Lakhs of households will now get motivated to install meters !

A very powerful incentive

That will introduce ” Measurement of Resource ”

> NO WATER IN SLUMS / UNAUTHORISED COLONIES

– This is a physical problem of laying 150 Km of new pipe-lines /
installation of pumps etc

No one asked Congress government re this for 15 years !

It is totally unfair to expect AAP to do this in 15 days !

> DIFFERING VIEWS / OPINIONS AMONGST AAP LEADERS

– This is what democracy is all about !

We encourage ALL to speak their minds without fear / reservations

Ideas must flow unhindered

We believe in brain-storming , not in suppressing views !

But ,

PAC members / MLAs / Core Committee Members etc will need to toe the

FINAL PARTY POSITION ( arrived after fierce internal debate / evaluation /
consensus ) in public , irrespective of their personal views

As far as millions of ORDINARY MEMBERS are concerned ( including Capt
Gopinath / Mallika Sarabhai etc ) , they are at liberty to criticize even the
FINAL PARTY POSITION

We impose PARTY DISCIPLINE , only on office bearers

And since Vinod Binny is our MLA , he is bound by this internal CODE OF
CONDUCT .

He must leave the party , if he cannot comply

> SOMNATH BHARATI TAKING LAW IN OWN HANDS

– If Delhi police won’t act against drug mafia / sex racketeers , despite a
pile of complaints from local citizens , then our ministers will come out on
the streets , in support of the oppressed

We will not hesitate to join their agitation / revolt against the corrupt !

Even Mahatma Gandhi , had to break the unjust British Laws

We will do the same

If we cannot change the law with the support of our MLAs , then we will
break it with the support of the suffering public

Make no mistakes about it !

> AAP ENGAGING IN ANARCHY / CHAOS / POPULISM

– Another TV channel editor said , we are continuing ” Activism ”

Still another TV anchor says , AAP failed to graduate to ” Governance ”

Use any – and all – adjectives you can , to describe our behavior / actions

We are not guided / governed by any ” Ideology ” ( Left / Right / Center )

When we take any decision / action , we only apply ” Gandhi Guideline ” ,

viz ; ” Will this help the poorest person ? ”

> AAP TAKING CONGRESS SUPPORT

– If they like , let them withdraw their ( unasked for ) support today

Let there be re-elections

People of Delhi will bring us back with 50 seats

> CONTESTING LOK DABHA SEAT ?

– I may , if Party asks me

[ Arvind ,

Whereas all the rest of your answers were most appropriate , this was
the most disappointing !

If you succumb to the " wishes " of your colleagues , not only the
people of Delhi , but of entire India , will conclude that ,

# You are an opportunist

# You are after power

# You cannot be trusted

# You have betrayed them ]

Once again , thank you Rajdeep ,

But for your grilling , public would have continued to believe the canards being dished out by those pseudo – experts trying to drown out each other , on panel discussions / obsessions !

* hemen parekh ( 20 Jan 2014 / Mumbai )

kapil
January 30, 2014 Reply

Love you blog ! Keep it up !

Kajal
February 7, 2014 Reply

Hilarious!! I am still laughing ! ROFL!

[…] Ouchmytoe.com […]

sneha
April 10, 2014 Reply

hehehehehe lmao……….

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