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Babies

Rekha and I have suddenly become interested in babies. Perhaps, we don`t make enough noise at home…I stick to my Newsweek and she to her Star Dust. Maybe, we need somebody to trouble the neighbors living downstairs…by dropping the TV remote or the rattle or the plastic car.

I remember, Rekha trying to sell me the idea sometime back. Being a great haggler, she almost got me…till the time I stood up for my rights and said, “hey, we just got married. Let us at least go for a second honeymoon before we get the cabin baggage.”

Eventually, better sense prevailed…and I managed to keep my sleep. But now looks like I have had enough of it. Rekha (and I) want a kid.

I remember once having a conversation with a friend: “Initially, I thought I was trapped in a woman.”

“How and when?” I asked.

“It was till my delivery…after that I was a free man!”

“Cool. Was it a normal delivery?” I enquired.

“No. Caesarian,” he replied.

“So do you still take the window instead of the door?” He didn`t understand my joke.

“I take the door like all of us, but I don`t think my parents liked me that much.”

This explained my friend`s behavior. He would always look out for love… especially among young 19-year-old girls.

“Why do you say your parents didn`t like you?” I asked.

“It was my mother. She developed morning sickness after I was born.”

“Don`t the mothers have morning sickness when they are pregnant?”

“Yes they do. My father was even worse…he gifted me an Iron box to play with in the bath tub. Perhaps, he thought…if the hot metal didn`t get me, the electricity would.”

“That is really sad. Maybe it was not intentional.”

I had to get out of this discussion pretty soon. I stood silently waiting for my friend to say something. He seemed to be thinking hard, for I saw creases on his trousers…oops..on his forehead. After a while he opened up: “I guess everything was for a reason. Had it not been for my parents…I wouldn`t be working in an IT company now.”

“Definitely mate,” I concurred. “Maybe if you take a look at the video of how you were born, you would start appreciating your parents,” I added.

“That`s not a bad idea. But I would any day prefer to watch the video of my conception.”

There was silence for sometime, after which we decided to part ways for the day.

– – – – –

As I said, Rekha and I are now preparing for more responsibilities. On my part, I have started practicing my reaction when I hear the doctor come out and say “Congratulations. It is a healthy child.”

What would I tell Rekha, when I first meet her after delivery? Would this sentence be appreciation enough – “Great show Rekha. I always knew you had it in you!”

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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