Come to me baby!

Five years back my girl friends would whisper into my ear, ‘Come to me baby.”

Two years back my wife whispered into my ear, “Let us have a baby.”

Yesterday, I walked into a baby showroom, aptly named “Diaper” and whispered into the counter lady`s ears, “I am having a baby.” I was forced to whisper because I didn`t want the other girls in the counter know that they didn`t stand a chance against me.

Yes, I have begun baby shopping and I can tell you…I am a toddler in this big, bad world. I say big and bad because I came out of the showroom all black and blue – black from the way I was treated by the counter girls and blue knowing how costly the baby things are.

“Do you have mosquito net?” I asked.

“For the baby sir?”

“No, something bigger.” I spread my palms for as long as I could without hitting the next customer.

“So, you want a mosquito net for the baby and the mother to sleep in?”

“No, I want a mosquito net for the baby, the mother and the father to sleep in.” Sometimes these counter girls can get to your nerves.

“But sir, we don`t have mosquito nets that big. After the baby is born, husbands are put in cold storage for a year or so.”

Other Must Reads

# Home alone for Jammy
# Inside the Jet Airways
# A visit to Fab India, Chennai
# A married man`s guide to safe and sound staring

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

17 replies on “Come to me baby!”

A year or so? C’mon!!!
Its waaay longer than that.

Babies are so much better than husbands in that:-
1) They cuddle without demanding sex
2) The listen without providing advice/solutions.
3) They smile when they see you in the morning.

How to compete, tell me?

Lol it’s fun to read ur blog and ur experiance. Jammy this is bad. These ladies they come to you ask for a Babby and than put us in a fridge. isnt it unfair to all we male. But there is a good thing about it “There are no mosquitoes or a naggign wife in the fridge” :).

better u guys concentrate on the kid, its play, smile and ya jammy u r gonna hv a hole in yr pocket as soon as the baby lands…

NAI: There is no way men can compete with the babies. if a girl walks up to you and says: “Wow…you are so cute. Look at those cheeks..I feel like pinching them,” maybe yes…you stand a chance. But then, for this to happen you need to be wearing diapers!

Santosh: Thankfully when they say cold storage, they don’t mean the fridge. Imagine staying in a room where the blub lights up only when the door is open!

Nina: Yeah agree…I am gonna have a big hole in my pocket. Unfortunately…this is a hole the fathers and mothers dont notice till the teenage son or daughter one day talks back and says: “Shucks, you guys are such dorks!”

Uma: If you enjoyed reading this…you definitely aren’t married. If you are married, you definitely aren’t a mother yet 😉

Ramadas: Didn’t somebody say the world goes around? Here is proof. We started with – Babies >> Mosquito Nets >> Cold Storages >> Deep Freezers >> Ice >> Ice-cold treatment >> Wives >> Babies >> Contd…

I think I have become crazy!

arshat chaudhary: Are you saying that you have put me on cold storage on your blogroll?

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