When Bush came to shove

According to reports Osama Bin Laden is in US custody. I would not believe that. Why would the US President capture Osama – his sworn enemy – and not announce his triumph to the World? After all, Bush is leader of the free World and has the good of mankind at the back of his mind.

Didn`t he invade Iraq when a mad man called Saddam Hussien, in possession of WMDs, threatened the World? Considering that WMDs were never found, one could argue that Bush was lying, but the US lead UN inspectors are searching for Saddam`s Presidential gardens where something could be planted.

And now, Bush at the risk of being not allowed into gay clubs has even intervened to stop a few of them from getting into matrimony. It is against God`s will and will spoil nature`s balance, he said. A fatherly figure, indeed.

Better still, he has kept the old friendships going. With his army base strongly entrenched in Afganistan, his need for Pakistan as a launch pad for sudden attacks on Russia is no longer there. But he would not let go of Pakistan. When Musharaff got wind of the Statue of Liberty`s tilt towards India and started making noises…Bush came in and gave him a problem to solve. This would keep the Pak CEO ocupied.

Like a Shoiab Akhtar getting Sachin on the backfoot, the Pak premier almost got out hit wicket when Bush lifted the curtains off what they had known for decades – AQ Khan`s retail nuclear armament shop.

Bush has no evil intentions. He is only trying to make the World a better place to live in for us…and of course his family.

After scores of CIA agents were sent after him over the last few decades, it was found out that Mr Khan was sending ‘stuff` (drug dealers seem like priests here) to various countries. Reportedly, he did it alone…without anybody else knowing. It is another thing that Pakistan`s Father of the Bomb is an expert in only one of the 23 niche technologies that are required to make the blast.

While on Pakistan, one is also reminded of Osama – Bush`s sworn enemy. He is said to be traveling on feet (mules, perhaps) in the mountain ranges of Pakistan. And US – the lone super power in the World is playing hide-and-seek with him. Bush is quite a sportive man. His Elite Commandos and Navy Seals have been after the breaded man, for two years now. USA`s satellites, which are capable of zooming into a trouble making senator`s house when he is with his mistress, are finding it difficult to trace Osama.

Meanwhile, the erstwhile builder, who is now hell-bent on destroying them, manages to send audio and videotapes to TV stations.

Sometimes I wonder, if at all Osama will be caught. What will my hero Mr Bush do when his popularity ratings go down…which in turn means he would not be able to continue cleansing the World? If he has to attack a country, what will be the excuse used?

Did I hear somebody say, “That`s Bushing it too far.”

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