Becoming Gym-body Jumbulingam

If you remember, sometime back I had said that I was aiming for a Shah Rukh Khan like six-pack. Well, the girl colleague for whom I was working out quit her job a month back and got married last week. I came to know of her marriage after a fortnight of working out…and ever since have lost all interest in a six-pack.

Last week, after being called β€˜a portly bastard` by a software engineer in my office, I decided to join a gym. One day later, I took a Health Club subscription at PowerHouse, a gym in Sector 56 of Gurgaon (if you come there too, and if you aren`t well built…buzz me…would like to meet up).

Jane Fonda in Spandex

Jane Fonda in Spandex

The first thing that stuck me is the fact that a gymnasium is very much like a bar. Till one is out of the bar, one doesn`t know how drunken one is…and when it comes to the gymnasium…till one doesn`t come out one doesn`t know how tired he/she is. Perhaps, that`s why on my first day at the gym, the bouncers had to carry me home because I couldn`t walk after two hours on the treadmill. Reminded me of the day I had my first beer – a bunch of friends had to carry me home.

Gymnasium Cross Trainer

Cross Trainer (The lady doesn’t come along)

If you have never been to a gym before, let me tell you that all those Bollywood / Tollywood songs choreographed inside gyms, where the heroine wears Jane Fonda-like spandex and works out on the cross trainer (see pic) isn`t true. For example, in my gym I have only seen four women train and I suspect their weights to be 78 kgs, 81 kgs, 73 kgs & 92 kgs respectively. I will tell you more about the only pretty girl (vital stats: 32-25-34) who visits the gym, in a separate post.

On my first day, I was embarrassed with my physique. A dark complexioned, 165 cms tall mass of body which was 34 cms wide in the middle…didn`t look good standing next to six feet tall, well built men wearing tight Reebok-sponsored uniforms. Thanks to my gym buddy (who, unfortunately happens to be a guy thus stealing the shine out of a sauna / steam bath) I came to know that these guys were the gym employees. With great difficulty (I always find it difficult to speak to people I am envious of) I tried to strike a conversation with a person who could have easily been a GladRags Mega Model: “Hi, I am Rajan. And I know nothing of gyming….can you help me get a six pack?”

>> Downloaded times <<
Have you downloaded Ouchmytoe’s Bachelor Special yet? Flirting tips for Bachelors [PDF, 235Kb, 17 Pages]

“Me…Santosh.” [Name changed because he is huge and can hurt me]

“Great Santosh! So what should I do first?”

“Treadmill. Cross Trainers. Weight Training. We get six pack.” Santosh seemed to be crisp in his replies.

Wow…so handsome people talk less. I made a mental note to talk less and in the process look like a model. Two days later when I walked up to him and asked: “So, which machine do I use if I have to burn the fat around my waist first?” he responded: “Difficult question. You know Hindi?”

Thinking ever since – would pretty girls prefer a tall, well built mannequin or go for dark, 165 cms tall, 34-inches around the waist type?

Other Funny Reads

# Every photograph has a story to tell
# To be a father or not to be
# What if there were no women in the World
# How to get into a conversation with a girl
# Dangers of Short Messaging Service (SMS)

Uncategorized

18 thoughts on “Becoming Gym-body Jumbulingam

  1. You are serious about the six pack. Shucks man!!! I have taken up tennis and swimming and the first two weeks rain ruined these activities. You planning to sell your treadmill? Lemme know… Cheers mate…

  2. You are serious about the six pack. Shucks man!!! I have taken up tennis and swimming(took a serious bit of thinking on my part) and the first two weeks rain ruined these activities. You planning to sell your treadmill? Lemme know… Cheers mate…

  3. don’t kid me! you’re not 165 cm or 34″ around the middle!!! πŸ˜€
    But you can join the yoga class below the gym to make your brain 34″ πŸ˜‰

  4. Hallo! How about a post on Rhea’s first birthday? Belated birthday wishes to the little one. πŸ™‚

    Keep rocking.

  5. Jammy let me tell you the six pack u r envisionin s not far frm reach if you really get jiggy in the gym!! All d best on this venture:-)

  6. Hi Jammy,

    commenting here for the first time.. but have been reading your posts now and then. great sense of humour man! πŸ™‚

    on six packs – seriously, i heard from a couple of my cut-body-kandasami friends that only a diet rich in protein, and less in carbs, etc.. will aid in getting a six pack. if not for a proper diet along with breaking your legs on a treadmill and looking like a mannequin,6 pack abs is practically impossible.

    not to deter your efforts, but jushtu wanted to cite some disturbing facts.. πŸ™‚

    cheers!

  7. does it mean jammy is getting cautious of not catching BP, DIABETES, HYPERTENSION, HEART DIESEAS, this things come in life in your 30-40 earlier it used to come after 60

  8. I will tell you more about the only pretty girl (vital stats: 32-25-34) who visits the gym, in a separate post.

    Dude, how on earth did u know the vital stats… and are u married still πŸ˜€

  9. Hi Jammy,

    I have been following your posts for quite some time now. Trust me the first 15 days of experience at gym will be horrible and will motivate you to think and write many more interesting posts :)..

  10. Now, what is a six pack ? I understand this is losing extra fat around your stomach and making your one pack into six packs. So what if it is one or six ? You exercise, you become tired, eat more, exercise more to lose the additonal fat ….. man, this is a dangerous cycle ….. so, just relax !!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *