Story of how I ended up starting a porn website

I was reading a news item in The Telegraph yesterday, and apparently there are at least 300 positions in sex. Oops, that didn`t come out too as intended. Let me retry. I was reading a news item in The Telegraph yesterday, and apparently there are at least 300 positions available in the British sex industry.

How do I know? Because an “adult chat line company” has advertised all over the United Kingdom for these 300+ positions, and it is being discussed in the British parliament as well. (Know More).

Sex
Had it not been for internet, all of us would be sex starved

Anyway, I would like to seize this opportunity and share with you the fact that porn industry has contributed in no small measure in providing you your weekly laughs. Here is how:

When I was in class seven, in Kendriya Vidhyalaya Ballygunge…a few of my class mates had access to ‘Baywatch`. Everyday these privileged kids would discuss Baywatch and the rest of the kids, which included me, would listen in rapt attention to every detail. With time, the discussions turned on to soft porn, and then hard core porn….again, I had access to these concepts only through the 4-5 friends. If it helps you understand my situation better… it was like being Dhritarashtra hearing about porn from Sanjay.

Not having seen a porn flick till I was 16 was a huge stress on me. I think that`s why I couldn`t be a good student or a good son. Maybe that`s why I used to steal the centre-spreads of magazines as docile as Grih Shobha. And maybe that`s why I wanted to become a Camera Man in a porn movie once I grew up. But obviously, whenever my relatives or my parents` friends asked me, I always said: “I want to become a doctor when I grow up!”

My life changed when in second year of college – that`s 1996. One rich classmate took me to a cyber café and showed me how nirvana can be attained inside a 2 feet by 2 feet cubicle of a cyber café. I might as well have taken up sniffing cocaine….at least I would had a chance of landing up in a Drug Rehabilitation Center.

Having seen porn up close, I had by now realized that being a camera man in a porn movie wasn`t that good an idea. Now, I wanted to be the hero of the movie. I immediately subscribed for ‘Employment News,` a weekly newspaper that came up with a list of job opportunities available. Three weeks later, I came to know that recruitment for the porn industry happened in the dark alleys and not via ‘Employment News`. I did try hanging around dark alleys and spending time with drug dealers but to no avail. On my last day at a dark alley, I did meet a porn movie director who was willing to make me the hero of his movie but when he said something about horses, I fled the spot to never come back.

Back then, if you visited a porn site, you could only see pictures and that too after wading through a list of directories with blue hyperlinks & avoiding traps that would cheekily ask you for your credit card details. That the internet speeds were pathetic helped collection & co-option among the connoisseurs of the art called ‘watching porn`. The full image would download in 3-4 minutes and even before it had downloaded half, one would start trying out the right click of the mouse to save it in an appropriate folder. The folders were mostly named – Asian, Latinos, Hollywood, Straight etc. Those that were creative named their folders Hardly-Can-See, Can-See-Little, Lots-to-See, Nuclear-Bombs-Not-For-Kids etc.

Since accessing & downloading the pictures was a costly and time consuming affair, true connoisseurs of the art opted for co-option. “You give me what you got….and I will give you what I have got.” And the World was one friendly place. I think the rejection of Floppy Disks and quick adoption of CDs (in less than a year) was because of this need to share & store sexy pictures for posterity.

As a BA Economics third year student, I saw immense potential in the porn industry – I mean 53% of the World`s population was our potential customers. And the other 47% could continue to lie, but who were we to complain as long as a cash registers continued to ring?

With no prior experience, I didn`t know how one could come up with a porn industry start up? Do you start with fore play? Or do you rush right into it? That`s when I had realized that both – a relationship and an entrepreneurial venture raise the same set of questions.

I laid out my plan in front of my friends. The idea was to start a porn website for Indians, with Indian content. Once our plan was ready, we shared it with our Micro Economics Professor….who liked the idea and said he was willing to help with the Quality Control Department. He said he wouldn`t even charge us for his time.

“But sir, we are having this ethical question in front of us – is starting a porn website a good thing? Aren`t we screwing people`s lives?”

That`s when he said something that changed my outlook towards the porn industry for ever. He said: “Gentlemen, three things. If it weren`t for porn, our streets would be a lot more dangerous for our women.”

“And the second, Sir?”

“If it weren`t for porn, our men would have never known what to do when they meet a lady.”

“And the third, sir?”

“Incidents like the forced immunization drive in 1975, the Bhopal Gas Tragedy etc have screwed more people than the porn industry ever can.”

We were excited by the professor`s encouragement and immediately promised to make him the head of our Quality Control department.

We were working on the execution plan when we came to know that someone else had gone live with an India specific porn site called Desibaba.com. It was a mere coincidence that he was the Micro Economics Professor`s ex-student. To make matters worse, the site had already caught on among Indians both in India and abroad. We dropped our plan to start a porn website and for our daily supplies, depended on desibaba.com.

After college, I joined The Indian Express. After being a sports journalist with them for a year and a half, where I almost always dreamt of starting a classy porn newspaper, I quit them.

Actually, the trigger for me quitting was a discussion with my father.

“How are the people at the newspaper?”

“OK pa. Not as classy as one would expect, but fine.”

“Always make it a point to stick around classy people. We don`t have class in our family…so we need to get it rubbed on to us by sticking to classy people.”

“Yes pa. I agree.”

“You just agree or you doing something about it?”

“Yes pa. I am doing something about it. I am moving to the porn industry. I have heard there people are classier.”

“How so? Porn industry is all about writing erotic articles and publishing them on paper even the cows would refuse to eat. Right?”

“No pa. It has changed a lot since your times. We no longer read literature. A few years back we had still images but now there are videos too.”

“What??”

That day Ouchmytoe.com was started with the intention of making it the classiest porn site in the World. And we are slowly getting there….hold your horses!

Subscribe to Ouchmytoe.com’s feeds

Uncategorized

17 thoughts on “Story of how I ended up starting a porn website

  1. Everybody’s fav topic 😉 This is rockinggggg! For me ,it was about writing fantasies for Indian women..Thank God ,I never did it….didn’t make few other minds as crazy as mine;)

  2. very nice. i knew everything my brother was up to when my parents were sleeping so this makes absolute sense. funny as usual

  3. Lol! Now, this reminds me of Dave Berry’s quote “A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”

  4. I’m having a lot of problemstrying 2 load your blog. I read it many times before and never got anything like this, but now when I try to load the blog it just idles for a little while & then just stops. I have tried both with www & without. Do you know what could be the reason? Please ask your host support… I hope to be able to come back soon.

  5. ddue what abot the legal issues ? is it ok to start a porn site in india ? i m loking to start one but duno the legal issues….as u r an economics student can u plz tell me 🙂

  6. Hi
    I wish to start a Porn Video site like youtube.com for free video viewing, and have plans to host it in a country where it LEGAL, But in India it is ban, toh content upload karne main and Porn Movies se video upload karne main copyright issue may arrise, plz guide me in this

  7. Here is the deal that I have for you today. Get a custom website, read the niche selection secrets, select an income source, plug in the traffic source, and finally just let the breakthrough software go to work. Check it out for yourself… http://tinyurl.com/7e4uqpc

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *