Complimenting & complicating your life

When a man makes a woman his wife….it is the highest compliment he can pay her. In 95% of the cases it is the last compliment. In the other 5% of cases, the last compliment is when the bags are being packed at the honeymoon location.

In most of these cases, this last ‘honeymoon` compliment is an indicator of the things to come. Here are some examples:

“You look good in a Saree!”
Meaning, the jeans that you are wearing now is bursting at its seams.

“You have worked hard this honeymoon, why don`t you sit and let me pack.”
Meaning, your packing is bad that we will need two extra bags.

Anyway, the brief is…making a woman your wife is the biggest compliment you can give her.

Ten years back my father gifted me a book by Dale Carnegie titled ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People`. It is a self help book that`s been on the New York Best Seller`s list for a whopping ten years and has sold 15 million copies so far. OK…now 15 million and one…now 15 million and three….now 15 million and four…. now 15 million and six….now 15 million and nine…

In the book, Dale Carnegie wanted me to compliment people no matter what. I began the practice 10 years back and have mastered the art. In the last ten years, I have complimented every person I have met at least once daily. So much so that I have run out of ideas.

Over the years I have also learnt never to give a compliment expecting a receipt for it. Especially because I am one dull and boring looking person – it only makes the life of the compliment receiver tough….makes him lie…and then go to hell.

Yesterday, with nothing else to say…I looked at my colleague Himanshu Mishra and said, “Nice shoulders!” He gave me a stare then and during lunch accosted me in the washroom. After a mild struggle, I managed to free myself and save my virginity.

Complimenting girls was easy earlier. I would start with the headband and work my way to the bindis, earrings, bangles, then to the anklets and then their high-heels.

With time, I wanted to improve on the quality of my compliments and ended up asking them to marry me. After all, didn`t somebody say that the best compliment you can give a lady is asking her to marry you?

Out of the 100s of girls I have asked out ….eight have agreed. What do I do? I am in a fix…please help!

Other Funny Reads

# Appreciating people who are different
# Am I turning into a woman?
# When deodorants got banned
# Maggi & Me – How Maggi has influenced my life
# Taking revenge, the Jammy way

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15 thoughts on “Complimenting & complicating your life

  1. 8 times marriage, seven times divorce. If you are proceeding legally, that might well run into 8 years and more. Cause divorces take longer than marriages. So I’d say just dig a hole on the ground and stay there for 8 hours, girls are fast when it comes to forgetting men who arent around.

  2. If you had missed my email….

    Hi Jammy,

    I guess you remember me..
    You inspired to start a blog sometime last year…
    I made a call to your number when Rhea was born..
    and you are indeed making me laugh for the past two years…
    I am following each and every single post of yours and you have been an inspiration for me an most of my friends..
    Most of us started a blog of our own mainly cos of your style..

    we are often found laughing our lungs out from our cubicles in office (A mystery for our bosses)

    well this is my blog link http://chronicwriter.blogspot.com

    and the following link is some dedication for you…
    http://chronicwriter.blogspot.com/2008/06/183-my-first-wedding-anniversary.html

    Did I tell my name? Oh yes! It is Chriz….
    You would have been really happy if this mail had come from a girl… But dont worry.. Most of my friends who have started a blog cos of your influence , are girls…..

    well… ciao for now…
    would keep visiting your blog…
    it is indeed fun reading ouchmytoe.

    warm regards
    Chriz
    (BTW you have influenced me to the extent of publishing a book)

  3. Hey Jammy,

    Nice try 🙂 but as i always say, you write the best when you write about Rekha…

    Convey my regards to Rekha and Rhea.

    Regards,
    A

  4. Jammy,
    I am disappointed. You have not listed any new tricks. 🙁
    I have tried all of them, yet to try the “Marry Me” line.

    -Nikhil
    PS: Chriz’s comment has made me think? Why do I really blog?
    😀

  5. Hi Jammy,
    Good show. You make Dale Carnegie proud! If you have 8% success rate on a sample of 100, imagine what Dale Canegie would have undergone.
    Btw, isn’t King Solomon your most admired person 🙂
    Cheers,
    Salil

  6. “After a mild struggle, I managed to free myself and save my virginity. ”
    OMG !!
    Which virginity are you talking about …

    as always nice post …

  7. hey man,

    happy new year. nice blog u got here. really witty and funny. Me has a little blog as well – do see it when u get time http://bloggerkn.blogspot.com

    I am Karthik Narayan from chennai, have been blogging and quizzing for a while. Quizzing whether to blog and blogging whether to quiz.

    I blogged and quizzed and finally found and founded what is now known as the Indian Quizzing League, an organization dedicated to making QUIZZING FUN.

    To learn more about us, do see http://iquiz.wordpress.com

    Right now, i am immersing myself in more areas of this blog. excuse moi…

  8. Haha….LOL………absolutely funny………:) Making others laugh is requires great mastery….n you are the guru…:)

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