Chris Gayle
I read Ouchmytoe.com because it helps me focus on my batting
Narendra Modi
I read Ouchmytoe.com to relieve pressure when people accuse me of Gujarat riots
Clarification: When I look at the comments for this post, I have strong reasons to believe that the junta thinks I have written this letter. As I said earlier, the letter is not my creation. Â
I know it will be hard for you to believe, but what follows is not my creation. I got this letter from a friend of mine, who has been married for three years.
The friend whose letter you are going to read is a Ouchmytoe.com regular and considers me an authority on wives and marriages.
-X-X-X-
Dear Jammy,
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Yamaha 350cc bike next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Yamaha, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
Thanks,
Shiva Narayanan
Note: If you are a man, you wouldn’t have noticed the twist at the end of the letter. Read again.
Mehak
November 21, 2006 at 11:33 pm
Ha Ha Ha Ha….
what more to say…the letter proves it all !!!!!!!!
Once again, a mind-blowing post….
Neil Scott
November 22, 2006 at 12:04 am
Dear Shiva
I have a Honda CB250 for 10 years and am self-taught in basic maintenance and I would try tightening down the valve covers a little, being very sensitive and careful not to strip the thread. It is possible you may need new gaskets if the leak persists, you could order this from spares stockist and fit it yourself.
However I would do any repairs in the daylight and especially not while thinking of your better half.
Jammy is second only to Scott Adams’ blog in lightening life with such fine humour.
Neil
rishi
November 22, 2006 at 9:58 am
Ha ha!!…:)))…that was hilarious to the hilt!!
wrongone
November 22, 2006 at 11:19 am
the letter i had recived only a couple of days before in my inbox .. so didn’t bother to read it again.. but yes.. the first few lines scared me.. as i also have been married for 3 years.. agony uncle neil’s reply is superb..
waise these days u can’t say for sure who is uncle and who is aunt.. only y’day i attended a session and the speaker’s name was roshail.. we were expecting a blonde to appear in the room. don’t ask me what actually appeared.. i don’t want to even think of that again.
Uma
November 22, 2006 at 11:38 am
Sorry Jammy… Just didnt understand… i wanna know the hilarious part…
karthik
November 22, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Hi Jammy! Awesome post as usual!
I have been a regular reader of your post for the last couple of years and have found it extremely interesting. The other thing that makes me even more proud is the fact that you and i are “distant” colleagues
Yep i am for Satyam in Bangalore and am i am proud of it or what!
You rock and keep it going
Cheers
Karthik
Sunny
November 22, 2006 at 10:01 pm
This kind of forwards never finds its source. The same write-up appeared almost 200 sites, everyone personalises as its own i.e. if it is american the bike is ‘Harley Davidson’ & like wise. Similarly for many such articles/forwards.
I used to do it, but felt bad to claim others as ours. Jammy does a good thing putting the immediate senders name below.
The article is highly philosophical since I could not understand.
Bobby
November 23, 2006 at 1:40 am
Valves on an RD 350???!! dude!! adi vaanga pore!! that too my babies!!! valves are on 4 strokers. Some 2 strokers do have them, but not the ‘legends’ !! the OHV and MHV concepts do not generally arise on 2 strokers. Anyways forgiven this time!!
. say hi to rekhs!!!
Ramadas
November 23, 2006 at 8:32 am
good one, though I do not know anything about motorbikes..(and wifes too!!!)
Aishwarya Rao
November 23, 2006 at 11:48 am
ROTFL
Do I need to say ne more?
venky
November 23, 2006 at 11:23 pm
lol good one … been reading your blog for a week now , you can add one more to the regulars list.
dd
November 24, 2006 at 4:50 pm
sounds funny but actually not .. try some thing better next time
Rahul
November 24, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Jammy — for a moment I was about to give you full credit for the entire post — as it fit in with your story-telling format as well — where the ‘twist in the tale’ comes in the last few lines
@ Sunny — yes, you got to give Jammy credit for creating a contextual environment where this fit in so well. Something you would also observe in the kind of Google Ads his pages attract
Sri
November 24, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Jammy,
Have been a silent viewer of your blogs for some time and i must admit that i agree to most points regarding l(w)ife…
Just came thru the same mail in the following path as well.. So, i agree it was not your creation….ofcourse, it was posted a couple of weeks back in that forum. http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifting-gears/2439-official-joke-thread-108.html
Cheers, Sri
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Mehak: thanks buddy…I wish it was mine though. Not the Yamaha!
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Neil Scott:
Jammy is second only to Scott Adams’ blog in lightening life with such fine humour.
Neil, Scott Adams of the Dilberts fame is a legend. Jammy is a legend in the making, who in all probability might fall by the way side.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Rishi: One reason why that was hilarious to the hilt is because, it wasn’t mine.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 3:59 pm
wrongone: With a name like “Roshail”, I would expect a cross between Rakesh Roshan and Sohail Abbas to take the stage.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Uma: Did you read it a second time? I am sure you will know the hilarious part if you read it a second and maybe even a third time. I could tell you…but any joke would loose the fizz if explained.
THis reply is pretty late…and I am sure, by now you would have got it.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:05 pm
karthik: “Distant†colleagues? Wow man…thats damn neat. I am in Satyam Chennai and operate out of OMR – that would be Old Mahabalipuram Road facility.
Nice to have a man from the fraternity.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Sunny:
The article is highly philosophical since I could not understand.
I dont believe you mate. You either making fun of me or the collective intelligence of all the other readers. If the former, the others might join you…but if it is the latter, you better beware!
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Bobby: sorry bobby…you caught me with your SMS during avery busy period. Got a chance to reply after a day and thought you wouldn’t even remember the context.
Yes…I agree…there are no valves in Yamaha. It runs on just nuts and bolts and a petrol tank and a seat for the rider to sit on.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Ramadas: If you dont know about wives and are above 25, you have every right to get married. In fact, no court can place stay order on your aspirations…though it is a different issue altogether that once you are married all your aspirations will get a stay order!
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Aishwarya Rao: BY any chance does “ROTFL” mean “Rascal Of The First Laughter”
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Venky: Thanks buddy…with your addition the regular readers list is now 7,65,324 members long.
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:26 pm
DD: Sure mate. Will give it my best next time too..
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:32 pm
Rahul: ha ha ha…yeah right. Liar!
So hows Swadeshe.com doing?
jv.rajan
November 25, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Sri: If you agree to what I write about wives, chances are you are married yourself.
Vishy
November 28, 2006 at 1:09 pm
I am a man…i had to read the last part after reading your note
Hariharan
November 28, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Wow Jammy!
Anonymous
December 6, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Strange joke jammy, I wonder weather it really happened to you. Considering a man’s instinct unless a polygammy the hilarious part in the letter seems quite an illusion. None the less well tried.