If you are a married man, you know what trouble it is to live with a lady who has an opinion of her own. In my case you can double that trouble – and you will know what it is like living with my daughter and my wife. Of course, my daughter’s opinions are still handle-able. It is my wife’s opinions that make my life hell.
I can handle any amount of attitude in my wife Rekha, what I can’t handle is her opinions. The other day, she said: “Rajan, you need to start working out again.”
“Just like that.”
Since, it was of no use arguing with my wife, I decided to start working out. I bought 500 grams of all the dry fruits available, mixed them in a bottle and kept them handy for the next day. As luck would have it….I couldn’t beat the North Indian cold and head for a jog the next day.
“Aren’t you going for a jog?”
“No. It is too cold.”
“Come on…don’t be a sissy. Go and work out…get some stamina.”
“Stamina? Wait…do you have some reason for pushing me to head for a jog?”
“Come on…tell me,” I insisted.
“Since you insist. And mind you…only since you insist…you aren’t holding up the bed anymore.”
“Ohh my God! You feel so?” I was shocked. I could have run a marathon at that moment…just to prove a point.
My wife just nodded and left the room. I had only two options – start jogging soon or get a second opinion. Getting a second opinion would mean, trying to find a girl at 36 years of age (yes, that is how old I am)…which I have come to realize is a Herculean task. So from the next day, I started jogging.
Ten days went by, and suddenly my wife asked me: “You seem to have started enjoying your jog?”
“Yes indeed. The first few days were a drab, but now it is fun.”
My wife thought for a while and then asked: “Why do you always leave at 6.30 am? Anything special with the timing?”
“Just fits right into the schedule. If I leave at that time, I can be in office by 9.30 am.”
“Hmm…” My wife was thinking.
“Why do you ask?” I questioned her while I tied the laces of my running shoes.
“In my opinion, you wouldn’t start jogging at 6.30 am everyday if there wasn’t something in it for you.”
“Yes, I am getting healthier. Not to mention the improved stamina.” I stressed on the word stamina, and gave my wife the naughty look which she has started hating after our marriage.
“Nothing else then, huh?”
“Nope. Nothing else really.” Saying this I said my byes and headed for the lift. Just as I was entering the lift in my tracksuit and running shoes, I heard my wife’s voice from behind: “You aren’t punctual, for a pretty girl who comes jogging…or are you?”
It was one of those close moments where the benefit of doubt could be provided to either side – so I stepped in to the lift and stayed quite as if I hadn’t heard my wife. She also never brought up the topic again.
But, it really pains me to know that my wife still hasn’t realized that at 36 years of age even if I was willing, it isn’t possible for me to connect with a younger lady. Most I do manage connect with end up calling me ‘Uncle’ or ‘Sir’ or ‘Bhaiya’ within the first 30 seconds.
The more I jogged, the more I started loving it. It had been two months since I had started and every day I would leave at 6.30 am. My wife couldn’t take it after two months – she had to find out for herself. So, one find day, she also bought tracks and running shoes and followed me ten minutes later.
I didn’t know she was following me till, I spotted her hiding behind one of the trees. I had nothing to fear…I would do my rounds and then head back home. And it would be my wife’s responsibility to explain the circumstances – and I loved such scenarios.
But fate had something else in store for me. As I finished my third round around the apartment complex, Sunita, who is a mother of a two year old baby boy, came right in front of me and said:
“Hi! You are Jammy, right?”
“Yes.” I was cautious because I knew my wife was watching.
“Rhea’s father, right?”
“I have seen you around many times. You don’t know me…but I know you.”
“I have been seeing you jog for the last two months, and you have inspired me to take up jogging.
“Wow…thats nice. But why did you stop me now?”
“Do you mind, if I also jog alongside you – I have a problem pacing myself.”
Guys, you all know me…I try to help as many people as possible. Even if sometimes I end up in trouble as a result of the act. I agreed, and she ran three rounds of the apartment with me. When tired, she shook hands, thanked me and left.
God’s ways surprise me. Just the day you don’t want a girl to cross your path, he throws a pretty one on the road and asks you to fight it out with your wife.
As you have guessed by now, I couldn’t convince my wife that Sunita had started jogging only that day. My wife still believes that I woke up every day at 6 am and headed for a jog at 6.30 only for Sunita.
To prove that there was nothing going on between Sunita and me, I had to give up jogging just when I had started loving it. And just when my stamina had started improving.
Two days back, Rekha, Rhea and I were shopping. Rhea was sitting in the shopping cart and I was pushing the cart….while Rekha was picking up the items to be bought and placing them inside the cart. It all went well for fifteen minutes…and then we lost Rekha.
I looked every where. For her bit, Rhea also tried shouting ‘Amma!’ ‘Amma!’ but to no avail. We just couldn’t spot her. That’s when an idea stuck me…I approached a pretty young girl in her early 20s standing near the Toiletries section and stuck a conversation with her.
“Hi!” I said.
“Do I know you?” The girl had an I-don’t-flirt-with-married-men look on her face.
“No you don’t know me….but I have lost my wife.”
“So? What do you want from me?”
“No nothing…we just need to talk for five minutes and the problem will get solved.” I said with a grin on my face which she was finding difficult to understand.
“What do you mean?” She was getting rude.
“Whenever I am talking to a pretty woman my wife finds me. So hold on for a few more seconds…and we are home.” My naughty grin continued.
“Look Mister….I am from a respectable family.”
“Don’t worry. Just a few more minutes…I am sure by now my wife has sensed…..
I hadn’t even finished the sentence when I heard Rekha call me from behind: “Rajan, what are you doing there? Your daughter is alone here.”
It worked. It always works!