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On St. Valentine’s Day, love and NGOs…

I think, February 14 should henceforth be declared a National holiday. I found it really difficult to get ready and reach my office in time.

Today, at midnight, my wife woke me up to wish me a happy St. Valentine`s day. A bleary eyed Jammy was pulled into the drawing room where on the dining table was a heart-shaped cake with a single lit candle. We were to blow off the candle and celebrate our first St. Valentine`s Day after marriage.

There have been four firsts so far –
1) Our first St. Valentine`s Day.
2) Our first St. Valentine`s Day after I proposed.
3) Our first St. Valentine`s Day after we decided to marry.
4) Our first St. Valentine`s Day after marriage.

She did surprise me. I blew at the candle and Rekha, who blew from the other end, fainted. Guess it was because I don`t brush my teeth after dinner. Before having a piece of cake, I had to brush again. By the time we finished it was 1.30 in the morning and the thieves were just going to bed.

Today evening, we have to go for a dinner. No…not my initiative. She waited all this while thinking I had already made reservations for tonight`s dinner, as I had always done before marriage. But when, I did not give any hint of an impending dinner…she checked with me. And even as I write this…I am upset coz I got a dressing down…and now am being forced to take her to a chutku-phutku restaurant near my house.

Why do we need this Valentine`s day at all? I fail to understand.

Is this what they call love? Costly dinners, late night cakes, costly gifts bought on credit cards…the list is endless (More because I can`t remember anything else).

At this rate…men will stop placing their wives on a pedestal…and instead they will place her under it.

They say Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. How true. Why don`t the women understand that it costs to celebrate Valentine`s Day. For the amount of money that`s she has already spent I could have bought more than 20 Kingfishers. All men should join hands and come up with a NGO called SWEAT. When expanded it would mean “Stop the Women who Eat Away our Time.”

Or if the presiding committee decides on including ‘Money` in the NGO`s agenda, we could name it: SWEEP – “Stop the Women, who Enjoy, Every Penny”

At least, I can blame Rekha`s age for her these misadventures with St Valentine. But think of all those really elder people you will find at the Marina and Besant Nagar beach? How true these words in Swahili are – &^%&^$%^$#% &**&*&^&$%##$(*)()_ &*^%&$%^#$%# @##@&**(*(())_*) (_&**^&$#$@!#@!, which when translated into English means: “Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” No wonder Dev Anand…is yet to get old.

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Before I met Rekha…I had never fallen in love. Of course, I had stepped into it once in a while…and they were mostly during the St. Valentine`s Day.

It is heart-wrenching to be alone on Feb 14 – especially if you are as handsome as I am (or was?). As a result, I would start my hunt well before February began…and by the time Valentine`s Day neared…I would manage to get a date. After all, it is difficult and different to be alone. But the pity is, many wanting to be different, would end up being alone.

After marriage the equations change, and one yearns for some peace on the V-Day. Earlier, my heart would go out to those without a date on V-Day. Today I am jealous of them. Lucky guys!

You probably wonder if I believe in luck. Yes, I do. How else can I explain the success of all those friends of mine who managed to marry pretty wives?

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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