On why I would prefer grandchildren

My wife has inspired this post, like all others in this blog.

She wanted a kid. I said we could have a kid as soon as both of us were ready. She was adamant, which lead to a scene. I was adamant, and it lead to injuries. Physical and emotional.

How do I explain it to her that first I want grandchildren and then I would go for my children. Wonder why? Read on…

Agreed familiarity breeds contempt, and children, but when was it that my wife and I got familiar?

Anyways, times haven`t really moved in India – the tradition of parents obeying their children still exists. Twenty years hence…nothing has changed.

Way back, somebody even suggested that if the parents could become more intelligent they would be able to control the kids. That was not to be, but the book “How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children,” went on to become a best-seller.

Soon, parents started disliking children from an early age, so as to avoid a lot of expense and aggravation when they grow up to be teenagers (like Mehak). Just to clear a point here, I don`t dislike kids…just that I want them to be my grandchildren.

I suggest you don`t tell me that I can`t straightaway have grandchildren. I have also read that quote: “If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.” Come on give me a break. It is as good as saying, “If you parents never kissed, chances are you won`t either.”

I know for a fact that Laloo never kissed Rabri (or vice versa). But don`t they have children studying in Delhi Public School, Delhi? And if they are studying in DPS, Delhi how do you expect them not to have kissed?

There is no animal besides man (and woman – for those feminists who read my blog) who have children because they want to. That is, if we ignore Guppies – fishes who breed so that they can eat their kids.

Amitabh, Abhishek & Ash are an item! Click Here

Children are not bad enough to be eaten. Just that they get dangerous when in the company of grandparents. The grandparents & the grandchildren gang up against the middle generation. Chances are… they target the common enemy, which more often than not, will be you.

I don`t remember who said this, but somebody did compare US of A to a spoilt child. Though an American, he had inadvertently said “the direct use of force is a poor solution to any problem, and is employed only by small children and large nations.” May his soul rest in piece. That is, if the CIA has already found out where he stays and blown his brains off.

Mind you, when children use force it is difficult to manage. Even for machos like my father. When I was a kid, my father never raised his hand at me. It exposed his mid-riff and he was scared of my upper-cut (the one that made Mike Tyson popular).

But whatever happened, my father always let me come back into the house. Maybe, if we had a den instead of a house, and my father was a lion….and I was a cub…I wouldn`t have been writing this. No…stupid…I know lions don`t write…I was saying …the father lion would have killed the cub lion. And the cub lion would have been me. But all this, only if we were a lion family. Phew!

As soon as I stated asking questions that had answers, my father distanced himself. He said…I should go and play outside. And when we did not go out to play, he would take us to many places. But we would always manage to come back home.

My father loved my mother. My mother loved us. And we were supposed to love our father…so that the family cycle got completed. But fortunately for that shopkeeper nearby and unfortunately for my father…we loved lollipops. The family cycle never got completed.

Now, you know why I prefer grandchildren to children.

As for grandchildren, the biggest advantage is…you can beat them up and yet not fear the repercussions. For they are not the ones going to select your old age home!

Happy Valentine`s Day Rekha – 3
(Rekha and I understand this. You can ignore it)

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