Rekha and I decide on a Saree

Here is a conversation Rekha and I had in Nalli Silks (a premium silk saree manufacturer in Chennai). You make sense of it.

“I like this pink saree with golden border. Shall I get this?”

“Yeah sure. It looks good,” I say.

Rekha spends some time with a brown saree she finds on the counter…and looks at me.

“The brown one is also good. But do you like brown?” I ask.

“Hm….I like chocolate, and that is very close to brown. So, I guess I like brown. Shall I buy this saree?”

“Yeah sure. It looks good,” I say.

“But I already have a saree that is from the brown family. It is mild-muddy in color…I am sure you have seen it.”

“I have? Mild-muddy? Did you wear it during rains and not wash it?”

Rekha stares at me, and picks up a yellow saree. I realize that this one is going to be difficult because during our courtship days I have told her that yellow suits her. Before I can say a word she asks the sales person to get her the same pattern in a lemon yellow color. Did not know there were so many yellows. Lemon yellow, mango yellow, zen yellow, yellow yellow….

“They have the same pattern in lemon yellow. You like me in yellow…shall I get this?”

“Yeah sure. It looks good,” I say.

“Just good?”

“I mean it is great.”

She stares at me. But if she can be nasty with me, I can also be nasty with her…so I try and distract her. “But don`t you have a churidhaar in the same lemon yellow color?”

“Hoooo yeah…how silly of me. I think I would go for orange then…I have not had anything in that color after that orange jean of mine got too tight.”

These are the only circumstances in which she accepts that she has put on weight after marriage. How much I wish I knew that girls put on weight after marriage. She did try to diet for two weeks…but the only thing she ever lost were the two weeks. Nothing else.

“If you think orange is the color to go for, you have my full backing. Just make sure you like the color before you buy,” I assure her.

“I will like the color. I saw our neighbor Mrs Iyer wearing an orange saree two days back. Looked good on her. But she is not that fair… so my guess is I will look better.”

“Sure then. Go for the orange saree,” I say.

She looks at me for a while and says: “You know what…you are always in a hurry…never accommodative. Whatever I suggest you readily agree as if you are just waiting to get out of Nalli Silks.”

“No way. That`s not true. I have never spent more than five minutes to buy my trousers, but for you I have been in Nalli for the last 30 minutes. And you are yet to decide on the color, leave alone the saree.”

“If you are in a hurry you can leave. I can do my own shopping.”

At this the sales person intervened and saved us a fistfight and some hair pulling. He also offered a suggestion. Pointing towards some plastic chairs he said: “Sir, you can sit there and read while you wife shops.”

Rekha and I agreed. I sat there and started reading. The problem with me is, when I read, I tend to sleep. So, I fell asleep. After three hours I got up, saw the time, and got scared. Rekha would have left Nalli Silks alone because I was not accommodative. Perhaps she has even reached home.

I dial her number and: “Rekha, where are you?”

“Selecting the sarees. Why don`t you come over…I am just about finished. Is red fine with you?”
 

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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