Â remember reading this long back. So long back, that I am not even sure if I am making this up.
Saif Ali Khan was once asked what he thought of Maduri Dixit`s navel. He said (exact words), “My ambitions are not that high.” No, in this post we are not going to be talking of navels. Instead it is going to be stomach – the ultimate devil that God built in all of us.
I love eating. Especially, on weekends. Rekha (my wife) cooks well, and it is a real treat.
This doesn`t mean that I don`t enjoy hotel food. I love the food I get in the Andhra Mess, near my house. They dump so much on my plate. The only problem with going to that place is, …I start feeling hungry in 2-3 days time.
There is a saying in Iraq: The way to a man`s heart is through his stomach.
But somebody who has always been anti-Iraq (No…not Bush) feels that any woman who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high. I have no comments on that. For I don`t think there are any nerves connecting a man`s knees to his heart.
Everything said and done, Food is important. When I think of people who can murder for food, my heart goes out to them. I pity them. I mean, it is ok…there is a bottle of Whiskey involved or maybe Rum…but murder for a plate of food? Unthinkable.
Talking of whiskey, there was a time when my father and I were stranded in the Thar Desert…with only food and water. Our stomach would growl…but food and water is all we could ever give. This torture lasted a week and, my father and I have never voted for the Congress since. Actually, we had been invited by Indira Gandhi to inaugurate the Indira Gandhi Irrigation Canal that has made the whole of Rajasthan evergreen.
Politicians do have a way with the stomach. Before the elections, they aim for a voter`s heart…but after victory, they aim for his/her stomach. I can`t blame the politicians though. They are after all, human beings worried about they own stomach.
BTW, have you heard of the two researchers who have come up with a new discovery, and are in line for the next edition of the Nobel Prize for medicine?
Named Dr. Gastro Garlic and Dr. Dart Fart, they have discovered a new enzyme-secreting-microchip, which when embedded in the stomach of a man/woman (this can be done when a baby is born) will help us break-down and digest all kinds of garbage.
The Indian Govt is already ga-ga over the invention because…they can cut down on garbage containers all over, garbage collection trucks, PWD employees, garbage dumping land etc.
And what do we have to do? When night falls, all families have to meet in the drawing room…. all the garbage in the house will have to be spilled on the floor…and each one has to pick whatever he/she likes and start eating.
But I have a question for those doctors: “Do we do this after dinner…or before dinner?”