Sports is a funny business. Call it the pressure of performing in front of a mike or the stupidity of sportsmen and women who have focused ONLY on their sport all their life to reach the highest level of professionalism ….but stupid and funny quotes are quite a common phenomenon. It cuts across all sports, countries, and languages. Let us look at some of the funniest sports quotes ever by sportspersons, coaches, and commentators.
Funniest sports quotes ever
I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it. – Rocky Graziano, Boxer
I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!
– George Best, Footballer
We must have had 99 percent of the match, it was the other three percent that cost us.
– Ruud Gullit, Footballer
I can go right, I can go left, I’m amphibious.
– Charles Shackleford, Basketball player
Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.
– Pedro Guerrero, Baseball player
I’m the oldest I’ve ever been, right now.
– Tim Sylvia, MMA Fighter
And let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row!
– Vitas Gerulaitis
(after he won a match against Jimmy Connors after losing 16 straight matches to him)
I’ve never lost a game. I just ran out of time.
– Michael Jordan, Basketball player
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.
– Wilt Chamberlain, Basketball player
We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.
– Bobby Robson, footballer
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. – Greg Norman, Golfer
This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.
– Ted Walsh, Horse Racing Commentator
Fade into Bolivian, I guess.
– Mike Tyson, Boxer
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle.
– Bob Varsha, F1 commentator
Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.
– Dennis Rodman, Basketball player
Don’t say I don’t get along with my teammates. I just don’t get along with some of the guys on the team.
– Terrell Owens, NFL
Anytime Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.
– Doug Collins, NBA Commentator
God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
– Carl Everett, MLB Outfielder
Goaltending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?
– Jacques Plante, Football Goalkeeper
My career was sputtering until I did a 360 degree and got headed in the right direction.
– Tracy McGrady, Basketball player
Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.
– Yogi Berra, Baseball player
He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.
– Torrin Polk, College Footballer
You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.
– Lou Duva, Boxing promoter
I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
– Muhammad Ali, Boxer
I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
– Tug McGraw, Baseball pitcher (he was asked if he preferred grass or Astroturf)
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
– Rodney Dangerfield, Comedian