You already know that my wife comes with an “attitude” that the best of men can’t live with. I have no problem with it – if anything, that’s what “attracts” me to her.
But sometimes she can be too much to handle.
The other day, she said, “Rajan, you need to start going for runs again.”
“Why?”
“Just like that.”
Now, there is no point arguing with your wife when she says, “just like that,” so I didn’t.
As luck would have it, the next morning was too cold.
As I cuddled up in bed, my wife said, “Come on, don’t be a sissy. Get out and build some stamina.”
“Stamina?” I froze. “Wait. Do you have a reason for asking me to go jogging?”
“Nope.” She kept a straight face.
But when I insisted, she leaned forward and whispered, “You aren’t holding up in the bed anymore.”
I could have run a marathon right then, barefoot, just to prove a point. But the bed was too comfortable.
At that moment, I had two options: step out for a run immediately and start working on my stamina, or get a second opinion.
But getting a second opinion would mean finding a young girl, and in my 50s, that was going to be difficult. Not that it was any easier in my 40s or 30s either.
From the next day, I started jogging. Two weeks later, Rekha asked, “You seem to have started enjoying your jogs?”
“Yes. The first few days were boring, but now I have gotten into the groove.” I replied, removing my sweaty t-shirt and checking out through the corner of my eye if Rekha was looking at my imaginary six-pack.
My wife thought for a while and then asked, “Why do you always leave for the run at 5:30 am? Anything special about the timing?”
“It fits my schedule. Starting early helps me be in the office by 9:30 am.”
She didn’t say anything, but a few days later brought it up again.
“In my opinion, you wouldn’t be so consistent unless there was something in it for you,” she commented, giving me the look a judge reserves for a culprit just before giving them a life sentence.
“Yes. Health. Fitness. And of course, improved stamina.” I replied.
She didn’t say anything, but as I closed our door behind me, Rekha’s voice came from behind: “I hope your punctuality has nothing to do with any other woman runner?”
It was one of those moments where the benefit of the doubt could go either way. So I pretended not to hear her. After all, there was no woman, and for the last two weeks, I had been running all alone.
It really pains me that my wife still hasn’t understood how difficult it is for me to get younger women. Even if we strike up a conversation, within 30 seconds, they call me Uncle, Sir, or Bhaiya.
Anyway, soon enough….two months passed. My leaving at 5:30 am every morning for two months without cribbing was more than Rekha could take.
One fine day, she bought tracks and running shoes and followed me ten minutes later.
I didn’t know she was following me until I spotted her hiding behind a tree.
I had nothing to fear. “I would finish my 5 kms and go home,” I said to myself. Then it would be her responsibility to explain the spying. And I love such situations, where I have the upper hand.
But fate had other plans.
As I completed my third kilometre and decided to walk the next 200 meters, Sunita, a pretty neighbour, jumped in front of me.
“Hi! You are Jammy, right?”
“Yes,” I said carefully, because I knew my wife was watching.
“Ritwik’s father, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve seen you play football with your kid. You don’t know me, but I know you.”
“Okay?!”
“I have been seeing you running consistently for the last two months…and I have to be honest…you have inspired me to take up running.”
“Wow, that’s nice. But why did you stop me now?” I enquired.
“Do you mind if I jog alongside you? I have trouble pacing myself.” The lady responded with a sheepish expression.
If you know me, you will know that I can’t see a woman in distress. I try to help them even at the risk of being scolded by my wife.
She ran two kilometres with me, and then got tired and left. Before we parted ways, she shook my hands and said, “Thank you for giving me company!”
God’s ways surprise me. On the exact day you don’t want a girl to cross your path, he throws a pretty one towards you and says: Fight this out with your wife.
As you may have guessed by now, I could not convince my wife that I had met Sunita only that day. And that she had nothing to do with me getting up every day at 5.30 and going for a run.
To prove nothing was going on between us, I had to give up running. Just when I had started loving it. And just when my stamina had started improving.
But since I have stopped running, my stamina is back to zero, my reputation is back to normal, and my wife is happy again.
In marriage, that is called peak fitness.