This Week’s Featured Nonsense
How to answer when your wife asks, “Do I look fat?”
There are certain questions a married man must never answer immediately and “Do I look fat?” is one of them. The wrong answer ends the evening. The right answer doesn’t exist. This is a survival guide.
Marriage & Rekha
Marriage & Rekha
Dispatches from two decades of holy deadlock — reported live from the losing side.
Rekha finds reasons to fix my cupboard every two weeks
There are certain things in life that reveal a person’s true character. How they behave with people such as waiters, security guards, etc, who have no power over them, how … Read more
The day I offered to help Rekha in the kitchen and regretted it
Since my father was in the Army, my mother brought us up almost single-handedly (except for a few 3-year periods in between, when we lived with my dad). When your … Read more
Changing a bedsheet is a full-body workout
There are certain household tasks that look simple from a distance, for example folding clothes, opening a steel lunch box, finding medicines from the second drawer, and changing bedsheets. A … Read more
What to do when your wife says, “We need to talk”
In marriage, there are some sentences that immediately change the temperature of the room. Let me try to list some: “Who is she?” “Why is your phone on silent?” “Did … Read more
How to answer when your wife asks, “Do I look fat?”
There are certain questions a married man must never answer immediately. Here are some I can think of even as I stare at a blank MS Word screen: “Where were … Read more
The art of subtle romance when a couple meets after some time
The first night after Rekha returned home, I realized something important. A wife doesn’t have to sleep next to you to disturb your sleep. Her presence in the house is … Read more
Childhood & Family
Small-town boy, big-time nonsense — back when the whole world fit in one street.
How the humble ‘tea’ has carried me through life
My mother-in-law and I having tea one cold winter morning in Gurgaon (2018).For many years, I thought a teetotaller was a person who was totally dependent on tea for going … Read more
How and what you order in a restaurant says a lot about you
There are certain moments in life that reveal who you really are. For instance, how you behave with people who have no power over you, how much you panic when … Read more
Surviving a family WhatsApp group requires courage and patience
There are some places from which a man can never escape. For instance, marriage, income tax, and family WhatsApp groups. If you are still studying and haven’t started working, you … Read more
How I have suffered for carrying three religions in my name
Now you know why I am named Jamshed Velayuda Rajan, but you don’t know the lifelong suffering that comes with carrying three religions, one missing surname, and a father’s hope … Read more
How I got my name – Jamshed Velayuda Rajan
Many of you have asked me why I am named Jamshed Velayuda Rajan. Well, here is the full story. My father was born in 1947 in a small village called … Read more
For long I thought wealth was measured in curd
There are two reasons I am sure I grew up poor. I got only two shorts to wear every year (one for Diwali – Oct or Nov…and another one for … Read more
Men & Women
Two species, one planet, zero mutual understanding. Field notes from someone equally confused by both.
Men and women fight differently
There are certain things men and women remember differently, and after being married for more than two decades, I can say this with the confidence of a man who has … Read more
The first time a pretty girl calls you ‘uncle’ it hurts
There are certain moments in a man’s life that change him forever. The first time he gets his salary, the first time he buys a saree for his mother, his … Read more
Why are men so bad at buying vegetables?
There are certain jobs a married man should never be given. For example, buying a blouse for his wife, selecting curtains for the living room, and buying vegetables for the … Read more
Why men and women behave differently when they fall sick
I have been getting a lot of messages from doctor readers. They say I write well. To all of them my reply has been, “I wish you could write well … Read more
Men and women shop differently
When I first got my hands on a credit card in 2000, after moving from Madurai to Chennai, I didn’t fully understand how credit cards worked. So I behaved like … Read more
How to manipulate a woman
Sometime back I had written an article titled ‘How to manipulate a man`. That was darn easy – just give him sex, I had advised. But today when I sit … Read more
Adults Only
If you’ve arrived here expecting something responsible, I’m afraid you’ve taken a wrong turn. Proceed anyway.
Origin of those funny messages behind Indian trucks
There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India. This is not new. This has existed from the time the first man came home late … Read more
Getting better at sex takes patience and practice
Sex between a man and woman could be great – provided you get between the right man and woman. – Woody Allen They say that getting better at sex takes … Read more
Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother
Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? … Read more
On nasty break ups & divorces
When I was in class nine, I had my first love affair. That`s when I leant that to make a woman happy a man (or a 14 year old boy) … Read more
Buying a house is like having sex
A friend once told me that buying a house was like having sex. There is a lot of planning, too many people are involved, you feel tired after wards and … Read more
Making love vs Having sex
I remember one of the fairer sexes recently commenting on this blog, that blog posts on ‘sex` are increasing with my age. Let me point her to a category called … Read more
Travel
I go places, things go wrong, I write about it. Occasionally something goes right. I write about that too, but with more suspicion.
A 50-year-old man’s guide to Vande Bharat toilets
Since summer holidays have begun, I have travelled by Vande Bharat a few times – to Bangalore, Mysore, and right now, I am on my way to Madurai. In my … Read more
My mother boards an airplane for the first time in her life
I have realized that I am not the only threat my family can offer to pretty air hostesses. My mother is far better at grounding the careers of air hostesses. … Read more
Story of why toilets should find mention in your daily prayer
What you are going to read happened in a small town called Sivakasi, in Tamil Nadu, way back in the 1980s. 1989 to be precise. For those who don’t know, … Read more
Funny farewell speech for colleagues while leaving office
Here is the farewell speech I delivered at my office in Sify at 5.15 p.m on 27th of December 2004. This speech was delivered in front of all my office … Read more
Character certificates from Facebook are soon going to be reality
Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?” “Sure.” And after ten minutes … Read more
How I tried to stop riots, looting and arson in England in 2011
Long, long ago I was in London for a few days. Thats why when I saw the London riots in 2011 on television my heart went out to all Englishmen. … Read more
Like your inbox mildly disturbed?
New nonsense, roughly whenever Rekha lets me near the laptop. Follow along — it’s free, and mildly regrettable.