Welcome
Welcome to Jamshed V. Rajan’s website
This is a place for funny stories about childhood, marriage, parenting, middle-class India, and the daily tragedy of being a man who is usually wrong but still willing to write about it.
Marriage & Rekha
Dispatches from two decades of holy deadlock — reported live from the losing side.
Men who can talk and move their ‘life goals’ make the best husbands
If you have read me enough, you will know that before meeting me, Rekha’s dream was to marry a tall Malayali man with a thick moustache and a Royal Enfield. … Read more
Rekha and I want to lose weight but can’t diet to save our lives
You probably know the right meaning of WTF. For Rekha and me, it is “Where’s The Food?”…and that is the underlying problem of our house. We talk about health, fitness … Read more
“I’ll do it later” is the most dangerous sentence a man can tell his wife
After spending 25-plus years with Rekha, I have understood that when you are in a relationship, some sentences are more dangerous than others. Especially the kind of sentences you tell … Read more
How Rekha’s ‘go carefully’ helps me drive the car safely
Today let me tell you how Rekha helps me drive the car safely. The moment the whole family gets into the car – or, to be more accurate, while the … Read more
How I bought two sarees for my wife on her 50th birthday
I recently wrote about how my daughter and I went around trying to buy a gift for my wife’s 50th birthday but didn’t succeed. This is continuation of the same … Read more
How my daughter and I shopped for Rekha’s 50th birthday but didn’t succeed
As most of you know by now, 5 July was my wife Rekha’s birthday. And not just any birthday….it was her 50th birthday. Fifty is the age where people start … Read more
Childhood & Family
Small-town boy, big-time nonsense — back when the whole world fit in one street.
How my height of 165 cms has shaped my life till now
I am 165 centimetres in height. Before you start feeling bad for me, please understand that 165 centimetres is not short. It is average Indian male height. In India, the … Read more
While all my teachers had a role in what I am today, two need special mention
I don’t remember any of my teachers till class 8….probably because boys are never meant to remember them. Or probably because till class 8, my brain was being used for … Read more
Even my childhood crushes were secular
After I wrote about the four actresses who have influenced my life over the last fifty years, one of my Facebook friend and reader pointed out something I had not … Read more
The four actresses I planned to marry before I fell for my wife Rekha
There are many things that have influenced my life over the last fifty years. Four things stand out – my father’s Army discipline, my mother’s ability to run a tight … Read more
What if my father had chosen the goats instead of the Indian Army
A few weeks back, I had written about how my father joined the Indian Army. For those who missed it, let me give you a quick recap. My father was … Read more
How the humble ‘tea’ has carried me through life
My mother-in-law and I having tea one cold winter morning in Gurgaon (2018).For many years, I thought a teetotaller was a person who was totally dependent on tea for going … Read more
Men & Women
Two species, one planet, zero mutual understanding. Field notes from someone equally confused by both.
How I tamed an assassin who came to kill me and made him a domesticated husband
In my previous article, I had revealed how men from all over had secretly joined hands against me. Their problem was simple. For the last few months, I had been … Read more
How all the men of this World formed a secret alliance to silence me
For the last few months, I have been writing a lot in support of men. I have written that men can’t find things because we were never trained properly. I … Read more
A wife’s guide to delegating cognitive load to her husband
After my article on ‘why men should never be asked to find things’, a reader called Deep Rastogi asked a very deep question in the comments. She asked – So, … Read more
Men should never be asked to find things
Men should never be asked to find things. It is not that we are lazy. Especially when it comes to finding things that matter to us….we are definitely not lazy. … Read more
Why women should also learn to apologize better
When I wrote that men don’t apologise properly, I knew that there will be at least five men who will come in the comments section wearing the badge of justice, … Read more
Women should never trust men who play the guitar, sing, or write
There are three types of men women should be careful about – men who play the guitar, men who sing, and men who write. But unfortunately, these are exactly the … Read more
Adults Only
If you’ve arrived here expecting something responsible, I’m afraid you’ve taken a wrong turn. Proceed anyway.
Dear Jockey, men don’t need so many underwear colours
Before I went to Goa, due to a series of unfortunate incidents, I ended up entering a Jockey showroom. This sentence itself sounds wrong. A man going to Goa should … Read more
Origin of those funny messages behind Indian trucks
There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India. This is not new. This has existed from the time the first man came home late … Read more
Getting better at sex takes patience and practice
Sex between a man and woman could be great – provided you get between the right man and woman. – Woody Allen They say that getting better at sex takes … Read more
Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother
Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? … Read more
On nasty break ups & divorces
When I was in class nine, I had my first love affair. That`s when I leant that to make a woman happy a man (or a 14 year old boy) … Read more
Buying a house is like having sex
A friend once told me that buying a house was like having sex. There is a lot of planning, too many people are involved, you feel tired after wards and … Read more
Travel
I go places, things go wrong, I write about it. Occasionally something goes right. I write about that too, but with more suspicion.
My favourite WhatsApp emojis and how we all use them
Every WhatsApp group has two kinds of people – those who type and those who live by the emojis. And please don’t underestimate WhatsApp emojis for they represent ‘full sentences’ … Read more
A 50-year-old man’s guide to Vande Bharat toilets
Since summer holidays have begun, I have travelled by Vande Bharat a few times – to Bangalore, Mysore, and right now, I am on my way to Madurai. In my … Read more
My mother boards an airplane for the first time in her life
I have realized that I am not the only threat my family can offer to pretty air hostesses. My mother is far better at grounding the careers of air hostesses. … Read more
Story of why toilets should find mention in your daily prayer
What you are going to read happened in a small town called Sivakasi, in Tamil Nadu, way back in the 1980s. 1989 to be precise. For those who don’t know, … Read more
Funny farewell speech for colleagues while leaving office
Here is the farewell speech I delivered at my office in Sify at 5.15 p.m on 27th of December 2004. This speech was delivered in front of all my office … Read more
Character certificates from Facebook are soon going to be reality
Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?” “Sure.” And after ten minutes … Read more
Like your inbox mildly disturbed?
New nonsense, roughly whenever Rekha lets me near the laptop. Follow along — it’s free, and mildly regrettable.