True stories. Questionable wisdom.
Welcome to Jamshed V. Rajan’s website
This is a place for funny stories about childhood, marriage, parenting, middle-class India, and the daily tragedy of being a man who is usually wrong but still willing to write about it.
Marriage & Rekha
Dispatches from two decades of holy deadlock — reported live from the losing side.
If I were a superhero my name would be ‘Patience Man’
If I were a superhero, I would be Patience Man. Superman has an S on his chest, Batman has a bat symbol, Spider-Man has a spider…and I would have a … Read more
How a socks I borrowed from a friend almost resulted in my divorce
Whenever I go to play badminton, I take two extra T-shirts, a pair of socks and a towel, but last week, I forgot to take my socks and that almost … Read more
Story of how I ‘invented a ghost’ to avoid getting caught by Rekha
Last week, I wrote how a pair of socks I had borrowed while playing badminton almost destroyed my marriage. Rekha found the socks in the pile of washed clothes and, … Read more
How Rekha and I lived-in for eighteen-months in 2002-03
Before we got married in 2004, Rekha and I lived-in for 18 months. I can post this confidently today because, unfortunately, Rekha’s dad is no more to twist my arm, … Read more
Men who can talk and move their ‘life goals’ make the best husbands
If you have read me enough, you will know that before meeting me, Rekha’s dream was to marry a tall Malayali man with a thick moustache and a Royal Enfield. … Read more
Rekha and I want to lose weight but can’t diet to save our lives
You probably know the right meaning of WTF. For Rekha and me, it is “Where’s The Food?”…and that is the underlying problem of our house. We talk about health, fitness … Read more
Childhood & Family
Small-town boy, big-time nonsense — back when the whole world fit in one street.
My 4-year long romance in school
We Rajans are romantic people and when it comes to falling in love, we start early. Today, let me tell you about my first affair, which lasted four years. After … Read more
Father walked whole month for son who wouldn’t walk 50 meters
8 September was our 22nd wedding anniversary. But the day before, 7 September, was my dad’s 21st death anniversary. It is a strange arrangement of dates – one day I … Read more
How my height of 165 cms has shaped my life till now
I am 165 centimetres in height. Before you start feeling bad for me, please understand that 165 centimetres is not short. It is average Indian male height. In India, the … Read more
While all my teachers had a role in what I am today, two need special mention
I don’t remember any of my teachers till class 8….probably because boys are never meant to remember them. Or probably because till class 8, my brain was being used for … Read more
Even my childhood crushes were secular
After I wrote about the four actresses who have influenced my life over the last fifty years, one of my Facebook friend and reader pointed out something I had not … Read more
The four actresses I planned to marry before I fell for my wife Rekha
There are many things that have influenced my life over the last fifty years. Four things stand out – my father’s Army discipline, my mother’s ability to run a tight … Read more
Men & Women
Two species, one planet, zero mutual understanding. Field notes from someone equally confused by both.
How men and women pack differently
When I was studying BA Economics, one of my professors had said that if there were two economists in a room, there would be at least three theories. He said … Read more
Story of my first date and why she never answered my call again
In the early 2000s, when I was a sports reporter with The New Indian Express and had yet to meet my wife, Rekha, I fell in love with another sports … Read more
How I tamed an assassin who came to kill me and made him a domesticated husband
In my previous article, I had revealed how men from all over had secretly joined hands against me. Their problem was simple. For the last few months, I had been … Read more
How all the men of this World formed a secret alliance to silence me
For the last few months, I have been writing a lot in support of men. I have written that men can’t find things because we were never trained properly. I … Read more
A wife’s guide to delegating cognitive load to her husband
After my article on ‘why men should never be asked to find things’, a reader called Deep Rastogi asked a very deep question in the comments. She asked – So, … Read more
Men should never be asked to find things
Men should never be asked to find things. It is not that we are lazy. Especially when it comes to finding things that matter to us….we are definitely not lazy. … Read more
Adults Only
If you’ve arrived here expecting something responsible, I’m afraid you’ve taken a wrong turn. Proceed anyway.
Dear Jockey, men don’t need so many underwear colours
Before I went to Goa, due to a series of unfortunate incidents, I ended up entering a Jockey showroom. This sentence itself sounds wrong. A man going to Goa should … Read more
Origin of those funny messages behind Indian trucks
There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India. This is not new. This has existed from the time the first man came home late … Read more
Getting better at sex takes patience and practice
Sex between a man and woman could be great – provided you get between the right man and woman. – Woody Allen They say that getting better at sex takes … Read more
Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother
Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? … Read more
On nasty break ups & divorces
When I was in class nine, I had my first love affair. That`s when I leant that to make a woman happy a man (or a 14 year old boy) … Read more
Buying a house is like having sex
Did you know that buying a house is like having sex – there is a lot of planning, too many people are involved, you feel tired afterwards, and almost always, … Read more
Travel
I go places, things go wrong, I write about it. Occasionally something goes right. I write about that too, but with more suspicion.
What happened in the 180 seconds I spent in the washroom without my mobile
There are some tragedies in life that a man is never ready for – being called an uncle, loss of hair, getting fired, loss of respect in front of his … Read more
Don’t insult the lungi – mankind’s most comfortable inventions
When a Parliament controversy broke out over the word ‘lungiwala,’ I realised one thing: India still has not understood the lungi properly. I am not offended because someone mentioned the … Read more
My favourite WhatsApp emojis and how we all use them
Every WhatsApp group has two kinds of people – those who type and those who live by the emojis. And please don’t underestimate WhatsApp emojis for they represent ‘full sentences’ … Read more
A 50-year-old man’s guide to Vande Bharat toilets
Since summer holidays have begun, I have travelled by Vande Bharat a few times – to Bangalore, Mysore, and right now, I am on my way to Madurai. In my … Read more
My mother boards an airplane for the first time in her life
I have realized that I am not the only threat my family can offer to pretty air hostesses. My mother is far better at grounding the careers of air hostesses. … Read more
Story of why toilets should find mention in your daily prayer
What you are going to read happened in a small town called Sivakasi, in Tamil Nadu, way back in the 1980s. 1989 to be precise. For those who don’t know, … Read more
Like your inbox mildly disturbed?
New nonsense, roughly whenever Rekha lets me near the laptop. Follow along — it’s free, and mildly regrettable.