This Week’s Featured Nonsense
How to answer when your wife asks, “Do I look fat?”
There are certain questions a married man must never answer immediately and “Do I look fat?” is one of them. The wrong answer ends the evening. The right answer doesn’t exist. This is a survival guide.
Marriage & Rekha
Marriage & Rekha
Dispatches from two decades of holy deadlock — reported live from the losing side.
How Rekha’s ‘go carefully’ helps me drive the car safely
Today let me tell you how Rekha helps me drive the car safely. The moment the whole family gets into the car – or, to be more accurate, while the … Read more
How I bought two sarees for my wife on her 50th birthday
I recently wrote about how my daughter and I went around trying to buy a gift for my wife’s 50th birthday but didn’t succeed. This is continuation of the same … Read more
How my daughter and I shopped for Rekha’s 50th birthday but didn’t succeed
As most of you know by now, 5 July was my wife Rekha’s birthday. And not just any birthday….it was her 50th birthday. Fifty is the age where people start … Read more
I took my mother-in-law to a pub on a wrong day – when her brothers were going to Sabarimala
In the first part of this mother-in-law series, I had written about how, after one quiet peg of Old Monk, Satan danced in my mind and I decided to play … Read more
When I pranked my mother-in-law saying I was going to dump her daughter and re-marry
My mother-in-law is nice to those who are nice. This may sound like a simple sentence. But if you are married you probably already know that simple sentences are usually … Read more
A husband’s 7-step guide to buying birthday gift for his wife
Rekha’s birthday is on 5 July. I am saying this confidently today because I have been in training for 20+ years, and like most men who have survived long marriages, … Read more
Childhood & Family
Small-town boy, big-time nonsense — back when the whole world fit in one street.
How my height of 165 cms has shaped my life till now
I am 165 centimetres in height. Before you start feeling bad for me, please understand that 165 centimetres is not short. It is average Indian male height. In India, the … Read more
While all my teachers had a role in what I am today, two need special mention
I don’t remember any of my teachers till class 8….probably because boys are never meant to remember them. Or probably because till class 8, my brain was being used for … Read more
Even my childhood crushes were secular
After I wrote about the four actresses who have influenced my life over the last fifty years, one of my Facebook friend and reader pointed out something I had not … Read more
The four actresses I planned to marry before I fell for my wife Rekha
There are many things that have influenced my life over the last fifty years. Four things stand out – my father’s Army discipline, my mother’s ability to run a tight … Read more
What if my father had chosen the goats instead of the Indian Army
A few weeks back, I had written about how my father joined the Indian Army. For those who missed it, let me give you a quick recap. My father was … Read more
How the humble ‘tea’ has carried me through life
My mother-in-law and I having tea one cold winter morning in Gurgaon (2018).For many years, I thought a teetotaller was a person who was totally dependent on tea for going … Read more
Men & Women
Two species, one planet, zero mutual understanding. Field notes from someone equally confused by both.
Why women should also learn to apologize better
When I wrote that men don’t apologise properly, I knew that there will be at least five men who will come in the comments section wearing the badge of justice, … Read more
Women should never trust men who play the guitar, sing, or write
There are three types of men women should be careful about – men who play the guitar, men who sing, and men who write. But unfortunately, these are exactly the … Read more
Why men should be taught to apologize better
Men should be taught to apologise better. After many fights, many silences, many “it’s okays,” and many apologies where I had no idea what crime I had committed, I have … Read more
Men and women fight differently
There are certain things men and women remember differently, and after being married for more than two decades, I can say this with the confidence of a man who has … Read more
The first time a pretty girl calls you ‘uncle’ it hurts
There are certain moments in a man’s life that change him forever. The first time he gets his salary, the first time he buys a saree for his mother, his … Read more
Why are men so bad at buying vegetables?
There are certain jobs a married man should never be given. For example, buying a blouse for his wife, selecting curtains for the living room, and buying vegetables for the … Read more
Adults Only
If you’ve arrived here expecting something responsible, I’m afraid you’ve taken a wrong turn. Proceed anyway.
Origin of those funny messages behind Indian trucks
There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India. This is not new. This has existed from the time the first man came home late … Read more
Getting better at sex takes patience and practice
Sex between a man and woman could be great – provided you get between the right man and woman. – Woody Allen They say that getting better at sex takes … Read more
Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother
Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? … Read more
On nasty break ups & divorces
When I was in class nine, I had my first love affair. That`s when I leant that to make a woman happy a man (or a 14 year old boy) … Read more
Buying a house is like having sex
A friend once told me that buying a house was like having sex. There is a lot of planning, too many people are involved, you feel tired after wards and … Read more
Making love vs Having sex
I remember one of the fairer sexes recently commenting on this blog, that blog posts on ‘sex` are increasing with my age. Let me point her to a category called … Read more
Travel
I go places, things go wrong, I write about it. Occasionally something goes right. I write about that too, but with more suspicion.
A 50-year-old man’s guide to Vande Bharat toilets
Since summer holidays have begun, I have travelled by Vande Bharat a few times – to Bangalore, Mysore, and right now, I am on my way to Madurai. In my … Read more
My mother boards an airplane for the first time in her life
I have realized that I am not the only threat my family can offer to pretty air hostesses. My mother is far better at grounding the careers of air hostesses. … Read more
Story of why toilets should find mention in your daily prayer
What you are going to read happened in a small town called Sivakasi, in Tamil Nadu, way back in the 1980s. 1989 to be precise. For those who don’t know, … Read more
Funny farewell speech for colleagues while leaving office
Here is the farewell speech I delivered at my office in Sify at 5.15 p.m on 27th of December 2004. This speech was delivered in front of all my office … Read more
Character certificates from Facebook are soon going to be reality
Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?” “Sure.” And after ten minutes … Read more
How I tried to stop riots, looting and arson in England in 2011
Long, long ago I was in London for a few days. Thats why when I saw the London riots in 2011 on television my heart went out to all Englishmen. … Read more
Like your inbox mildly disturbed?
New nonsense, roughly whenever Rekha lets me near the laptop. Follow along — it’s free, and mildly regrettable.