When I Thought My Wife Was Having an Affair With Her Hair Stylist
Rekha spends around Rs 3,400 for every haircut — almost three years’ worth of mine. And she always goes to the same stylist… which forced me to follow her one day, to see if she was having an affair with him.
Marriage & Rekha
Dispatches from two decades of holy deadlock — reported live from the losing side.
The art of subtle romance when a couple meets after some time
The first night after Rekha returned home, I realized something important. A wife doesn’t have to sleep next to you to disturb your sleep. Her presence in the house is … Read more
My wife’s version of our love story, written without her help
If you haven’t read the story of how Rekha and I got married please read that first. It is our story of how my wife and I fell in love, … Read more
What happened when my wife asked me to buy four toothbrushes
Yesterday, Rekha asked me to buy four toothbrushes – one for every member of the family. If you think it is an easy task, you need to continue reading. I … Read more
This is the story of how Rekha and I got married
My story won’t be called ‘How I Met Your Mother’. If at all we did a series on Rekha and me, it would be called ‘How I Brought Your Mother … Read more
When I thought my wife was having an affair with her hair stylist
I had a haircut yesterday morning. I walked to the shop, which is about a kilometre from my house, got my hair cut for Rs 100, gave the barber Rs … Read more
Why my wife allows me to make fun of her online
Many people ask me, “What is Rekha’s reaction to your articles?” Some ask, “Does your wife even like being fodder for your content?” Some say, “Look at his audacity… posting … Read more
Childhood & Family
Small-town boy, big-time nonsense — back when the whole world fit in one street.
How I have suffered for carrying three religions in my name
Now you know why I am named Jamshed Velayuda Rajan, but you don’t know the lifelong suffering that comes with carrying three religions, one missing surname, and a father’s hope … Read more
How I got my name – Jamshed Velayuda Rajan
Many of you have asked me why I am named Jamshed Velayuda Rajan. Well, here is the full story. My father was born in 1947 in a small village called … Read more
For long I thought wealth was measured in curd
There are two reasons I am sure I grew up poor. I got only two shorts to wear every year (one for Diwali – Oct or Nov…and another one for … Read more
How I grew up on hand-me-downs and friendly gestures
Much before folks in the Internet space discussed ‘share economy’ over drinks, and much before it was cool to use products such as Airbnb, BlaBlaCar, Fon etc. there were ‘hand-me-downs’. … Read more
How I became a better student at school
This is the story of how I became a better student. My schools had no role to play in me becoming a better student. It was all my skills, my … Read more
Father walked whole month for son who wouldn’t walk 50 meters
My parents hated going out to eat. In fact even when we were traveling and stranded outdoors at odd times, we would still stretch ourselves, reach home, cook food and … Read more
Men & Women
Two species, one planet, zero mutual understanding. Field notes from someone equally confused by both.
Men and women shop differently
When I first got my hands on a credit card in 2000, after moving from Madurai to Chennai, I didn’t fully understand how credit cards worked. So I behaved like … Read more
How to manipulate a woman
Sometime back I had written an article titled ‘How to manipulate a man`. That was darn easy – just give him sex, I had advised. But today when I sit … Read more
Character certificates from Facebook are soon going to be reality
Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?” “Sure.” And after ten minutes … Read more
The art of picking up women and its evolution over the years
Back in the cave man days, finding a spouse was easy. One only had to go hunting and come back with a huge, dead deer on one’s back and place … Read more
Enough of women empowerment, it is time men ask for rights
The more I think about it the more I agree with myself – men need more rights. Funny, because not so long ago women needed more rights –from the right … Read more
Story of my first date and why she never answered my call again
Alankar was a journalist with a reputed Indian newspaper – The New Indian Express – and known to hob-nob with the best in showbiz. Now, you may suspect that I … Read more
Adults Only
If you’ve arrived here expecting something responsible, I’m afraid you’ve taken a wrong turn. Proceed anyway.
Origin of those funny messages behind Indian trucks
There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India. This is not new. This has existed from the time the first man came home late … Read more
Getting better at sex takes patience and practice
Sex between a man and woman could be great – provided you get between the right man and woman. – Woody Allen They say that getting better at sex takes … Read more
How sex between husband and wife gets affected because of kids
Bill Cosby, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Peter Russell – what’s common among them all? For the not-so-trained-an-eye, it would seem as if the common thing between them is the lack … Read more
Why I thought Clitoris was Greek God and Dick was Duck’s brother
Sex in India is different from the rest of the World. While we invent/discover/write kamasutras….we hide Debonairs and Playboys under our beds, yet to the world we are like: “Sex? … Read more
On nasty break ups & divorces
When I was in class nine, I had my first love affair. That`s when I leant that to make a woman happy a man (or a 14 year old boy) … Read more
Buying a house is like having sex
A friend once told me that buying a house was like having sex. There is a lot of planning, too many people are involved, you feel tired after wards and … Read more
Travel
I go places, things go wrong, I write about it. Occasionally something goes right. I write about that too, but with more suspicion.
A 50-year-old man’s guide to Vande Bharat toilets
Since summer holidays have begun, I have travelled by Vande Bharat a few times – to Bangalore, Mysore, and right now, I am on my way to Madurai. In my … Read more
Funny farewell speech for colleagues while leaving office
Here is the farewell speech I delivered at my office in Sify at 5.15 p.m on 27th of December 2004. This speech was delivered in front of all my office … Read more
How I tried to stop riots, looting and arson in England in 2011
Long, long ago I was in London for a few days. Thats why when I saw the London riots in 2011 on television my heart went out to all Englishmen. … Read more
Funny take on how high gas prices will impact our lives
In the last few years the gas prices have been coming down. USA’s strategy of mess-with-every-fuel-rich country seems to be paying off. Actually I may be way off the mark … Read more
Reluctant husband goes on a picnic with wife’s friends
Four nights back my wife turned towards me in bed and stared at me. Having been married to her for the last six years I knew this was a dangerous … Read more
Story of how I ended up starting Ouchmytoe.com
I was reading a news item in The Telegraph yesterday, and apparently, there are at least 300 positions in sex. Oops, that didn`t come out as intended. Let me retry. … Read more
Like your inbox mildly disturbed?
New nonsense, roughly whenever Rekha lets me near the laptop. Follow along — it’s free, and mildly regrettable.