There has always been a huge communication problem between men and women in India – and the issue is more prevalent amongst men and women who own trucks. It is usual for women to not feel the need to stop and for men to not feel the need to start – talking, that is.
This inability to communicate has taken totally different dimension in the last 50 years or so. OK, let me not keep the suspense any longer.
Yesterday I broke into the trusted circle of Women Truck owners, and was let in on a 50-year old secret – that men and women have been communicating with each other by writing messages on the back of the trucks they owned.
I asked the Lady truck owner who had let me in on the secret, “How did it all begin?” Thats when she narrated the whole story.
She said: ” Way back in 1960, we Indian women were a bit traditional and shy and our Truck owning husbands had one major crib – they weren’t getting enough blow jobs.”
“And then?” I enquired.
“That is when the Truck Owners Association of Men figured out a way to communicate it to their wives – they decided to write ‘Blow Horn’ behind their trucks.”
“How did that help?” I was confused.
“You see the Indian men were shy too. Back then, our trucks used to be backed up in front of our houses and all the wives could see this message aimed at them every day.”
Brilliant idea, I thought to myself. And to ensure she didn’t stop I asked her: “How did you guys respond to that?”
“We also have a Truckers Association for Women…and we decided to respond with an appropriate message – we wrote ‘Keep Distance’ behind our trucks and let them lose on the roads.”
It was interesting. The women were retaliating. I couldn’t let her stop now, so I asked: “And then?”
“The obnoxious creatures that men are, they responded back by writing ‘Use Dipper at Night.’
You need to understand that by now, the war of words had spilled over to our houses as well.” I could see the anger writ large on the woman’s face.
“Did you guys get what the men meant by ‘Use Dipper at Night’? And did it help turn around the marital life?” I goaded her.
“We understood what they meant. But it made marital life worse. We women decided to not give them any sex for months.”
“And then?” I was finding it difficult to keep a straight face.
“Then, what we waited. And when we didn’t get any reply for six months, to rub it in, we got ‘Horn OK Please’ painted on our trucks…questioning them if their so called HORN was OK.”
“Wow…did this help? The men would have got angry?”
“Bullshit…they came back to us on all fours – not exactly all fours, but still. As an apology they got ‘we two ours two’ painted on their trucks.”
“And then? Did that bring the men and women together?” I asked her.
At my question the lady smiled. Apparently after reading this message, the women understood that their husbands were back on track and wanted to raise a cute little family with their wives. Needless to say, everybody was back together again and lived happily ever after.