Men and Women

How to manipulate a woman

Sometime back I had written an article titled ‘How to manipulate a man`. That was darn easy – just give him sex, I had advised.

But today when I sit down to write on how to manipulate a woman, I know it will be difficult task.

I might fail to deliver (expected, isn`t it? On which planet do men deliver?) so please bear with me.

After all, the first question ‘what women want` still remains unanswered.

Before you start trying to manipulate a woman to like you or love you, you need to understand your girl better. You need to understand how her mind works, and thats exactly what I am going to tell you first.

Women need security. She has two issues to sort before she is even willing to let you get close enough so you can attempt a manipulation.

1) Is she feeling safe with you?

2) Is she feeling safe from the World when she is with you?

Remember, this is why a woman never falls in love at first sight. One doesn`t get to know the bank balance at first sight.

If your answer to the above two questions is ‘Yes` you are my star and you have every right to continue reading this article. Other men may as well pick up the latest PlayBoy and head to their favorite corner.

What politicians are to the citizens of a democracy, men are to the women. We never vote for the best politician for there aren`t any. We always end up voting for the least corrupt.

Similarly, women are forced to choose the one who is least likely to mess up their lives – which is anyway going around and around in cycles. Period. I hope you got the bloody joke!

It is this need for security that makes a woman prefer the guy who offered to pay the bill, even if he took her to a cheap restaurant.

Never walk into the restaurant and say magnanimously: “We will go Dutch…but I will take care of the tip myself.”

This just might tip the scales in favour of the guy she has been keeping aside as Plan B.

Then again, taking her to a restaurant and paying the bill might NOT make her trust you. She might start thinking, “This guy takes me to a restaurant, and pays for my dinner. Something is definitely fishy!”

If she wasn`t already on guard with you, this act of yours will put her on guard. You might not be able to read her mind, but she can read 100s of permutations & combinations into your single smile.

Mind you, women are always on guard, which helps them in their search for ‘security`. In a way, we men have made the women such experts in sensing the dangers nearby.

Just so you know the Indian Navy has decided to give up its gender bias and plans to use women’s ability to sense dangers. Plan is to have at least one woman in every sea going submarine. These women will have to look out for dangers under the sea.

Navy has SONAR etc but apparently they aren`t as effective. The bill hasn`t been passed in the Parliament yet and our MPs are debating Indian Navy`s suggestion that the women be tied to the nose of the submarine.

Anyway, getting back to the topic…once you have won over her confidence and you have made her feel safe with you and from the World, she is ready to be manipulated.

My dear men (women, you still reading?), there are two things you need to know about a woman:

1) Women have the inherent need to know everything

2) Women love to be flattered

Women have this inner need to know everything about the man they are interested in or have ended up marrying.

Talk to her…not just about cricket scores or the latest youtube video you saw.

Talk to her about what you did in office, what you ate for lunch, what you spoke of when you met your colleagues in the loo, what you were thinking while driving your car back from office, what her mother in law thinks of her, what her sister in law said about her…just about everything.

On the Flattery front, here are a few stock sentences that you can use to flatter her and once she is flattered, you can manipulate the hell out of her.

Remember, you are dealing with a person with a seventh sense for security so be careful.

1) Are you dieting? Or is it the gym? You are definitely losing weight

2) Where did you get that skirt? Goes really well with those shoes.

3) Did you do something to your hair today? I notice an extra bounce.

4) I was walking just behind you and guess what, when you walked past that bus stop everybody turned their head.

5) You have such nice skin. What do you do?

There are certain things you should never tell a woman. Even if it sounds ok to you, as a man. Sentences like:

1) If I were only half as good looking as you are…I would be your company`s CEO.

2) You have such nice skin. Wish I had that too. Darn these rashes!

3) Where did you get that skirt? Would love to see them crushed on the floor.

4) What deo do you use? I was walking just behind you and when you walked past that bus stop…all the men fainted.

5) Did you do something to your hair today? I am an extra dosage on your shirt today

While you try these out on the women in your lives, let me do the same. With some luck, I just might succeed.

Men and Women

Character certificates from Facebook are soon going to be reality

Two days back my wife called me when I was in office. I said, “Rekha, I am in a meeting. Can I call you back?”


And after ten minutes she called me again. I cut the call and messaged her that I couldn’t talk since I was still in the meeting. She just replied an “OK”

After half an hour, she called again. This time I was angry and said, “Rekha, I am still in the same meeting. Don’t you understand, I am at work.”

My wife replied, “If you are in a meeting why are you commenting on your ex-girlfriend’s status updates?”

Damn! These Facebook news feeds. I muttered under my breath but only let out a “hmm….”

“You have time for her, but not for me?”

“Hmm…oh that? I was in a meeting…a boring one. So was just fiddling around with Facebook while the meeting was on.”

I waited long for a response. After a while she replied, “If the meeting was boring and useless, why not come out and talk to me?”

I tried to explain to Rekha that coming out of the meeting wasn’t a possibility but if she could come online I would be able to converse with her even if I was in a meeting. And for the sake of our four and a half year daughter Rhea, we agreed to disagree that this was the correct approach.

One thing is for sure, this Facebook is going to ruin my married life. But I am not worried much about that. I am more worried about all those boys-wanting-to-be-men who will be winding up their love affairs with a ‘it is not about you, it is about me’ comment and then start identifying the girl they want to marry and live a life with.

I can almost foresee detective companies which would specialize in Facebook investigations – companies with tag lines such as ‘Finding the Real Him via Facebook’ or ‘Saving girls from assholes, one asshole at a time’. Shop signs like these aren’t far away as well.

I can foresee the girl’s parents visiting a private detective firm titled ‘Fancy Facebook Investigators’ and having a conversation such as this:

“We are planning to have our girl married off to a boy from Delhi.”

“Sure. Let me know how we can help you.”

“The boy’s name is Prashant Saxena. And we want to find out if he is a good fit for our innocent daughter.”

“Hmm….do you know his Facebook ID?”

“Yes…our daughter has already started chatting with him. His ID is prashant.sax.”

“And his email ID?”

“His email ID is”

“Thank you. Consider your job done. We will need at least 15 days. If we find him not good for your daughter, we will not just give you the proof of his past but also generate proof in the present.”

“How much will this investigation cost us?” The cost conscious lady of the house will speak up.

“Madam, just think about it for a while. How much will you be willing to give to ensure your daughter has a good married life?”

I won’t go into how much these detective agencies will charge the hapless parents, but they would make a killing for sure.

And once the parents exit the scene, one young trainee will be put on the job. He will immediately use one of his ‘Girl’ IDs and send a friend request to Prashant.Sax. Being already deprived of friend invites from girls, poor Prashant will immediately accept it and fall into the trap.

It would be great to find out what percent of the total friend invites sent out in Facebook every day are sent out by girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is only 1-2%. I am sure 98% of the requests are sent out by men. If there is a girl out there, the men will find her out and send her the request.

The young trainee will then go through Prashant Saxena’s life history on Facebook and find out that he has changed his relationship status with different girls at least 3 times in the last four years. Based on the status updates and comments, the young trainee will also form a report on the kind of relationships Prashant Saxena has had with these three girls.

With the report in hand, he will go to his reporting manager to discuss the future action plan.

“Sir, Prashant Saxena has had three girl friends in the last four years. And they were all very intense relationships. Here is the report.”

The trainee’s reporting manager will go throogh the report and finally look up and say, “This is proof of the past. We also need to prove that he hasn’t changed. Start chatting with him and get some proof of his intentions.”

“Will do sir. Just so you are aware I will be using either Priya Dixit’s or Neha Gupta’s profile for this assignment.”

“Sure. As you wish. You my man! Or should I say girl?”

After the go-ahead from his reporting manager the trainee will get onto the task of exposing Prashant’s present intentions.

This is how his initial chat conversations with Prashant start:

Priya Dixit: Hi Prashant

Prashant Saxena: Hi Priya, sorry but do I know you?

Priya Dixit: Hmmm….does that matter?

Prashant Saxena: Obviously not. It doesn’t matter but it helps.

(In such instances, a man is forced to take this stance. How many times in a lifetime does a man get a Hi from a girl anyway?)

Priya Dixit: You don’t know me. But I know you. I studied in the same college as you.

Prashant Saxena: Is it? How come we never met?

Priya Dixit: I was scared to approach you. You were so popular.
(Who doesn’t want to hear that he/she was popular in college)

Prashant Saxena: That I was. What did you study there?

Priya Dixit: I did BA Economics.

Prashant Saxena: Wow. Where do you stay?
(For a man the territory is important. If there are little chances of meeting in person he won’t waste his time)

Priya Dixit: I stay in Noida. And I know you stay in Delhi. Your profile says so.

Prashant Saxena: Yes, I stay in Delhi. Smart girl.
(A well-trained man knows that girls like to be called smart and beautiful)

Priya Dixit: Thanks. I was home alone and was getting bored so thought I might as well gather the courage to buzz you. Hope I am not disturbing me.

Prashant Saxena: No…no…not at all. In fact, I myself am bored.
(The logs in Facebook servers are proof that a man has never been too busy for a girl)

Priya Dixit: Thanks. You are a nice person.

Prashant Saxena: Thanks. Is that your real profile pic? You look pretty.

Priya Dixit: Yes of course. Why would I use somebody else’s pic?

Prashant Saxena: No just checking.

Priya Dixit: So…what else?

Prashant Saxena: What do you mean bored?

Priya Dixit: Ever since I have broken up with my boyfriend three months back, life has become dull. No thrills.

Prashant Saxena: Ah! You have come to the right person. 😉

Priya Dixit: What???!! What do you mean?
(Real girls have to do this. After years of chatting a man starts suspecting if the girl comes easy)

Prashant Saxena: Was just saying that I know Delhi-NCR region in and out. So you have come to the right person.

Priya Dixit: Better. I thought you were meant something else…you know what I mean.
(During investigations, it is the job of the trainee to lure the man into the trap by giving enough hints)

Prashant Saxena: I know what you mean. But I generally go slow.

Priya Dixit: How slow?

Prashant Saxena: As slow as the girl wants.

The chats continue for around ten days and in these ten days Prashant Saxena starts feeling that he has known the girl for ages. And when in this comfort zone he commits the blunder.

After fifteen days, the agency sends its report to the girl’s parents.

Same day Prashant Saxena’s parents get a call from the girl’s parents that they aren’t interested in pursuing the relationship. Prashant is informed the moment he is back from office.

After dinner, a dejected Prashant logs on to Facebook and finds that Priya Dixit has removed him from her friend list. But wait…now Priya Dixit is friends with his future brother-in-law Keshav Bajaj. Keshav is being explored for his sister Deepika Saxena and only the previous day, Prashant’s parents had been to Fancy Facebook Investigator’s office.

Men and Women

The art of picking up women and its evolution over the years

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Back in the cave man days, finding a spouse was easy. One only had to go hunting and come back with a huge, dead deer on one’s back and place it in the corner of the cave. The woman, who obviously couldn’t go hunting and thus was dependent on a man for food, would come closer and whisper in the man’s ears: “How about we share this deer, and in return, I will provide you warmth during the night.”

Bingo! The spouse was found.

Back in those days, the men who couldn’t hunt, ride a horse or throw a spear were called ‘vegetarians’ and they had to make do with the grass, leaves, and fruits that grew around the cave.

This concept called ‘vegetarianism’ was also the reason behind the origin of another concept called “Gayism.”

A ‘vegetarian’ man (back then, they were defined by their inabilities and not by choice of what they wanted to eat) would suddenly have the urge to have meat and thus would be forced to whisper in another man’s ears: “How about we share this deer, and in return I will provide you warmth during the night.”

Then we started progressing – got out of caves, didn’t have to hunt any longer, women started having careers, we stopped living as communities and moved to individual houses etc.

All of this put undue pressure on the man to get a spouse. Now, women stopped being easy. Probably because food was always available in the fridge – vegetarian or non-vegetarian.

Like how a camel can go without water for days on ends, women can go without sex for months on end. So they could keep waiting till kingdom come. However, the men couldn’t wait because they needed sex every day. Unfortunately, back in those days having a woman around was the only solution for sex. Inflated dolls, porn sites etc were yet to arrive on the scene.

This pressure of finding their women got to the men and to get out of the pressure, they started smoking and drinking and joining clubs where all the men could form a support group and help each other out (the gay revolution got a second wind in such clubs). This went on for some time.

They say that when a man is pushed to the wall, he pushes back. Once he was ready to burst open, the man decided to go out and find a woman for himself. This was referred to as the beginning of ‘the art of picking up women.’

Over the centuries, various method were followed with various levels of success. By the 1970s, picking up of the women was templated. One only had to visit singles Bars, and wait for a lady to do one of the two things:

1) Take out a cigarette
2) Take the last gulp from her wine glass.

When the lady took out her slim, long cigarette, etiquette demanded that the man rush to offer her the light. This was the only, money-less conversation starter available. The small problem was that there were 11-12 men waiting for this lady to take out her cigarette and all of them would pounce with their lighters aflame. Back in the 1970s, this led to many women being burnt alive in Singles Bars only because they took out a cigarette out. Sometimes the whole bar would be gutted.

Since the free option was so crowded, a man could also wait for the lady to finish her glass of wine and walk up to her and say: “Miss, may I buy you another of the same?”

Women being women, the answer was almost always: “Yes.”

Both these methods of picking up women came under strict scrutiny by the respective Governments. Already reeling under the pressure of population explosion the Governments devised plans to NOT let the man and woman meet.

In case you didn’t know the “No smoking in public places” and ‘No drunk driving” rules were introduced by the Governments to make sure man and women don’t meet and thus don’t result in kids.

These rules by the Government forced the men to look for women in places where no smoking and drinking was allowed. These were Clubs/Institutes where they could find like-minded people such as – stamp collectors, karate lovers, salsa dancers, Star Wars lovers etc. The advantage of this approach was that once a man and woman met, they could spend their whole life collecting stamps together or doing karate, or whatever it was that interested them.

Most of the time people who met via this route lived happily ever after except of course when one of them picked up a new hobby.

With time, more and more women started taking up jobs. One would expect the women to start taking the lead in initiating the conversation with men. But unfortunately, that didn’t happen. The onus of starting the conversation even today rests with the man.

As the days rolled by, the men who didn’t have the balls to initiate conversation, introduced their own way of sourcing women. They called it Personal Ads. Personal Ads were received well by the women initially, and that’s because none of the Personal Ads ever said anything bad about the advertiser.

An average Personal Ad looked like this:

I am a self-confident man, and you should be the same. I am not keen on meeting women still reeling under the emotional problems from previous relationships – you should have gained your peace. Your age is not important to me as I am looking beyond the physical. You should be a college educated, financially independent, liberal minded woman. I prefer that you don’t have kids because I also don’t have any. I live in Delhi-NCR and expect you to be somewhere nearby because I am not interested in a long-distance relationship. If you see yourself in this description and are interested in meeting an intelligent, intellectual man, please contact me.

Soon enough the women saw through the Personal Ads trick and stopped responding. By the 1990s, the women workforce in corporate had increased significantly providing the men with one more avenue to pick up women. Today, office space remains the most prominent place to pick up women.

For the youngsters, it is bad news, but for the others it’s not bad news that half of the women working in corporates are actually married. A married woman is the most vulnerable when she is in her office. For her, the office space – where everybody dresses up well and aren’t in their pajamas, discusses stuff more important than prices of rice and pulses, argues over deadlines and not over why and how the milk was split – appears to be a very romantic place.

As for conversation starters with unmarried women in office, you can always call for a meeting to discuss the next upcoming deadline.

Note: If you are married or unmarried man looking for a woman in your life, try your office first.

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Men and Women

Enough of women empowerment, it is time men ask for rights

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The more I think about it the more I agree with myself – men need more rights. Funny, because not so long ago women needed more rights –from the right to vote to the right to wear clothes that showed cleavage.

I think now the Global body, International Women’s Commission and the local organization called National Commission for Women have served their purpose. They have uplifted the women and now need to move out and give way for the upcoming men-focused organizations such as the 3-member People’s Organization for Relief to Men (PORM) and the anonymous men’s support group Fellowship of Unnamed Confident Kings (FUCK).

Before we go into what the men are doing to uplift themselves, lets find out what how the last meeting of the National Commission for Women ended.

Purnima: “Thanks ladies for joining us. I will pass today’s agenda around, and we can start discussing. The agenda is: Defining what we are fighting for”.

Pankhuri: “Yes, Seriously…what are we fighting for? We now have as much rights as the men, if not more.”

Priyanka: “We hold their bank accounts, their wallets, and their balls – I think we are good. “

Tavneet: “Yes I agree. We decide what is for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

Bani: “I second you Tavneet. We decide how the furniture is arranged in the house, we get to work if required and quit if we feel like….can’t get better than this. “

Somyata: “Yes, and we get to dress however we want and roam around the streets of every city. Barring Guwahati, of course.”

Purnima: “Are you guys saying we should disband the National Commission for Women?”

All kinds of hands go up in the air – nail polished, mehendi-ed, krack creamed, bangle-ed, soaked in dishwasher-ed, and many more.

Lets not get into the gory details of how the commission got disbanded, and move on to a typical meeting of the FUCK group. Since nobody is really willing to take the onus and stepping in to organize the meeting, it all starts with a small email asking if “we should meet”.

For best results please read email trail from last to the most recent – as you would read a forwarded mail trail in office.

Remember I said “Start reading the emails from the bottom and move up.”


From: Manish Jain
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2012 12:21 PM
To: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Cc: Sharad Sharma; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Subject: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Guys, I am begging you….remove me from this mail trail.
My wife has my email passwords and if she sees these emails, I am doomed.
Thank you all.

Best wishes,
Manish Jain


From: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Sent: Sunday, August 26, 2012 3:27 PM
To: Bijoy Singhal; Vineet Duggal; Sharad Sharma
Cc: Manish Jain; Mukesh Tanwani
Subject: RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Hi all,
Though I didn’t get a rousing response to my suggestion of what rights we should be fighting for, here is another initiative from my side. I think it would be a good idea to agree on the following:

FUCKs official Drink: Bag Pipers
FUCKs official Snack: Lays Classic Salt Chips
FUCKs official Beer: Polygamy Porter
FUCKs official TV Channel: ESPN
FUCKs official Print partner: PlayBoy
FUCKs official Porn Partner:

So where are we meeting. Anything decided yet?

Please note, I have not yet removed Manish Jain and MukeshTanwani so that they know what they are going to miss. May the next person remove them.



From: Bijoy Singhal
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2012 3:27 PM
To: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Sharad Sharma
Cc: Manish Jain; Mukesh Tanwani
Subject: RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Update on recruiting for FUCKs:

Today evening I met MrNitinYadav and he is impressed by our plans and wants to join the movement. But as you are all aware, Mr Manish Jain and MrMukeshTanwani aren’t interested and hence didn’t join the briefing at Brix Bar in Sector 29 in Gurgaon.

Now that we are 4 member organization, we can legally go ahead and register and start fighting for our rights.

P.S.: Added Manish Jain and MukeshTanwani so that they know that we are done with them. Next person to email, pls remove them from the list.



From: NitinYadav
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2012 3:20 PM
To: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal
Cc: Manish Jain; Mukesh Tanwani
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Guys, can we please make sure we don’t send any emails to Mr Manish Jain and MrMukeshTanwani.

Note: Have added them in this email so that they are aware that we are making an effort.



From: MukeshTanwani
Sent: Saturday, August 25, 2012 1:27 PM
To: Manish Jain
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

I am already into Art of Living and I don’t need one more distraction in my life.

If anybody is thinking of meeting for badminton, table tennis or squash do let me know…I will be interested.

Mukesh T


From: Manish Jain
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2012 7:27 PM
To: Sharad Sharma
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Subject: RE: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

I am still part of the email trail. Please remove me!!
Thank you all.

Best wishes,
Manish Jain


From: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 9:52 AM
To: Sharad Sharma, Manish Jain
Cc: Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Sorry guys, but it is whiskey to be blamed. They sure make tough whiskeys in India.

Anyway, what will we be fighting for? I have some suggestions:

– The right to drink in the house and in front of kids
– The right to buy beer in States at the cost price at which it is available in Union Territories such as Delhi and Pondicherry
– The right to drive after being drunk

Please add to your list.

Harsh Vardhan Thakur


From: Manish Jain
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 4:57 AM
To: Sharad Sharma
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Guys, Pls don’t include me in these emails. My wife and I are happy with each other and have equal rights at home.

I have heard about FUCKs and my wife says they brainwash people. She says I can join carnatic music classes if I want to but not FUCKs.

Thank you all.

Best wishes,
Manish Jain


From: Sharad Sharma
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2012 11:02:40 +0530
To: Manish Jain; Mukesh Tanwani; Nitin Yadav
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal
Subject: RE:RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Looping in..Manish, Mukesh and Nitin to join in on the FUCKs.

@Bijoy: Can you meet them tomorrow somewhere in Gurgaon and take them through the advantages of FUCKs?

If they are in, our organization could be seven member strong.

Warm Regards,
Sharad Sharma


From: Bijoy Singhal
Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2012 5:45 PM
To: Sharad Sharma
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal;
Subject: RE:RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Hi Sharad,

Apologies for the delay in responding.I thought we might as well wait for Vineet to come back from Bulgaria.

Thanks for taking the time to convince us on the benefits of FUCKs.Both Harsh and I are impressed and would like to be part of the movement. Though I agree with you that FUCKs has been in recent times more about the to-and-fro between us men. It is time we took it beyond the men now.



From: Bijoy Singhal
Sent: Monday, July 16, 2012 12:23 PM
To: Sharad Sharma
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Anytime between 2 – 5 pm sounds good. That’s when we get buy-one-get-one free at Barista. Let me block my calendar right away.

Looking forward (as always).



From: Sharad Sharma
Sent: 16 July 2012 12:01
To: BijoySinghal
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur; Vineet Duggal
Subject: RE: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Thanks Bijoy,

Let me know your availability for tomorrow i.e 17-07-2012.
Would like to meet you and plan out on how we can meet again.

I understand your convenient times would be convenient times for Harsh as well, considering you will be carrying him to Barista. Pls confirm.

Sharad Sharma


From: Bijoy Singhal
Sent: Saturday, July 14, 2012 1:14 AM
To: Sharad Sharma; Vineet Duggal
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Subject: RE: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Hi Sharad,

Glad to get connected too. And I am sure Harsh agrees – if he isn’t already drunk on his whisky.

Would it be possible to meet on 17th July at Barista in Metropolitan Mall in Gurgaon, or alternatively we can first have a call on Tuesday and then meet up later on.



From: Sharad Sharma
Sent: 13 July 2012 12:30
To: Vineet Duggal; Bijoy Singhal
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Subject: RE: FW: FUCK Meeting

Thanks Vineet, I am thinking of going ahead with the meeting while you are in Bulgaria. And I assure you it is not with the intension of saving the per-plate cost at the venue.

Hi Bijoy/Harsh,

Nice getting connected with you, would request you to spare some time for meeting next week for our FUCKs meeting. I can call you guys if required to take you thro’ our presentation.

Sharad Sharma


From: Vineet Duggal
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 8:36 PM
To: Sharad Sharma, Bijoy Singhal
Cc: Harsh Vardhan Thakur
Subject: FW: FUCK Meeting

HI Sharad,

Since I am travelling, I would recommend that we either don’t have this meeting this month or you have it with my friends Bijoy and Harsh (who are marked in this email).

Bijoy is a well rounded man and will know what rights we should be fighting for. As for Harsh, it should suffice to say that he likes his whiskies.

Do note that you can increase the attendance by 25% if you wait for a month to comeback from Bulgaria.


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From: Sharad Sharma
Sent: 12 July 2012 12:40
To: Vineet Duggal
Subject: FUCK Meeting

Hi Vineet,

As per our discussion on the phone I propose that the FUCKs meet so that we can start fighting for our rights. Kindly spare some time for the meeting as per your convenience.

Also attached is the introduction ppt of FUCK.

Sharad Sharma

Attachment: FUCKs_Intro.ppt

Men and Women

This Portland man expects to deliver a baby in six weeks

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Trystan Reese is a 34 years old transgender man who will be delivering his first child in less than six weeks. Together with his gay partner Biff Chaplow, they have a nice little family which continues to grow. In 2015, they were suddenly thrust into parenthood after winning a US court battle to save Chaplow’s niece and nephew from an abusive household. Today the two kids – Riley and Hailey – are excited about the fifth member of this modern family.

Trystan Reese, who transitioned about 15 years ago had lost a baby not so long ago. This time though he is confident of pulling the whole distance. Reese and his partner are excited about the fifth member of the family and their Instagram shows that.

Trystan Reese had always dreamt of having a baby and that’s why this Portland dad had stopped taking male sex hormone testosterone.

But not everybody seems to be happy for Trystan Reese and Biff Chaplow. Check out this funny and insensitive reaction to the gay couple having kids.

Watch Trystan Reese talk about being a man and being pregnant.

Follow them on BIFFANDI.COM

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Men and Women

Group dynamics in a married man’s house

Prakash Raj is a close friend of mine who lives in Delhi. This is his story – of how group dynamics in a married man’s house has affected his life. This Saturday, we met up at the Barista in DLF Mega Mall in Gurgaon. He had called on Friday and said: “Jammy, don`t you project yourself as a specialist in man-woman relationships?”

“I never did!” I protested. But my friend wouldn`t listen and fixed a 12 noon meeting at DLF Mega Mall. Easing into the soft, brown cushion at the Barista, he said: “You are lucky, your mother doesn`t stay with you.”

“Why? What happened?”

My longtime friend detailed out an average day in his life. Apparently, his mother and his wife were having trouble adjusting.

Here is his narration, in his words

If my mother and wife have had a fight, I will know by 7.00 p.m. itself. Both my mother and my wife will call me at office and check when I will be home. Armed with the knowledge that the night was going to be stressful and long, I will enter the house by 9 p.m..

If my mother managed to open the door for me, my wife will be at an arms distance to get my laptop bag. If my mother kept my shoes in the newly bought shoe-rack, my wife will bring me the towel and ask to freshen up.

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Finding a reason to enter the house, I will look up at my father for some support. With an Economic Times and a TV in front of him, he will just shrug and go back to the distractions. I know what his shrug means: “Buddy, I managed it in my time, now it is your turn.” So wouldn`t disturb him and move to the washroom to freshen up.

If my wife managed to hand me a washed T-shirt outside the washroom, my mother will manage to shout: “The dinner is served!”

At the dinner table, the silences will be long and the sentences short. The utensils will be a lot noisier than normal days. The decibel levels will give me an idea of the magnitude of the fight. On normal days, the ladle will not hit the plate while the rice or dal is served but on the fight-days the ladles will make their presence felt.

“So, how was your day?” My wife will ask.

Since, I know my response to this question can break my family into two I will just say: “It was fine.”

If I said that my day was great, my wife would fall into a chasm of self-pity and solving the fight will become that much more difficult.

“So, what did you do the whole day?” My mother will ask trying to prove a point that her son is more responsive to her questions. Now, even if I wanted to give a detailed answer I can`t because then my wife will be upset. So I just say: “Nothing much!”

Since my wife is a Malayali (she hails from Kerala), she doesn`t understand Tamil mother starts conversing in Tamil at the dinning table. Being the good husband I am I respond in a neutral language, lest my wife thinks I am conspiring against her.

I look at my father again – seeking advice. The intelligent man that he is, he will just bury his face in his plate.

The dinner will be a disaster. Since both the queens in my life are pre-occupied, they forget to bring to the dining table two of the dishes that were prepared for the evening. The situation worsens if both the dishes were prepared by one individual, for a conspiracy theory is attached to the miss.

When the dinner ends, my mother tries to prolong my stay outside the bedroom by offering ice-cream, fruits, Dabur Chyawanprash etc. If I indulge in these after-dinner-activities, my wife starts hinting me to reach the bedroom soon. She lets out statements like, “I am sleepy,” “Your favourite TV show in on now,” etc. Not willing to upset either of them, I take a spoon full of Dabur Chyawanprash and rush to the bedroom.

Once inside the bedroom, I stare at the TV (and think on how best to tackle my wife). Meanwhile, my wife sits before the dressing mirror and sulks. She sulks so much that I am forced to ask: “Why what happened?”

Even before I finish my question, I realize that I have opened the dam. My wife starts crying and explains how my mother is actually a witch that both my father and I haven`t been able to spot in the last 30 years.

I console her. I tell her that my mother is indeed a bad woman and needs to be controlled with an iron hand. My wife is initially doubts that I am on her side but with some persuasion she is made to believe that I hate my mother. Happy in the belief that she has managed to convince me, she sleeps peacefully. I sleep peacefully too.

The next day while wearing my shoes, I wink at my wife and utter: “Which is bad?”

She glances at my mother from the corner of her eye, then turns towards me and says, “Yes, witch is bad.”

I look at my mother and ask, “Which is bad?”

My mother says, “The blue one.”

I dump the blue socks and wear the black one, as my mother suggests. On my way out, I whisper into my mother`s ears: “I know you guys fought last evening. But I trust you. See even for my socks I still consult you.”

As I start the car, I hear noises in the balcony of my house. In my rear view mirror I see them holding each other by their unkempt hair. They sure love each other`s company.

* * * * * * * * *

I didn`t know what to advice the friend. After all, he was managing the situation pretty well himself. Besides, these are the group dynamics in every married man’s house.

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Men and Women

This artist loves his wife dearly and it shows in his comics

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Yehuda Adi Devir has been capturing his everyday life with his wife Maya Zeltzer in amazing comics form. If you have ever been in a relationship you will relate to his comics on how his wife is always late, how she is always using him as her travel pillow, how she turns into a Wifinator when she spots a cockroach etc. This artist loves his wife dearly and it shows in his comics.

Yehuda says Maya has been his inspiration for these cute comics – here is wishing they find inspiration in each other for years to come.

We strongly recommend you follow Yehuda Adi Devir on Instagram and Facebook.

Let’s now move on to Yehuda Adi Devir’s amazing husband-wife cartoons. Our comments are in bold.

If you have ever been married or been in a relationship you know that women always have a standard reply, “I have been telling you for the last one hour that I will be ready in five minutes! Why do you keep pestering me?”

Wife and husband get ready for party - Funny Cartoon

A relationship gets stronger when there is freedom to play pranks. When pranks are accepted, appreciated and returned with interest, it is a sign of a healthy relationship.

Wife checks weight and husband scares her - Funny Cartoon

Men never have a problem sleeping. The moment they lie down, they start snoring. The same can’t be said of women. God save you if your wife or girlfriend can’t sleep.

Wife can't sleep at night wakes up husband - Funny Cartoon

This is my favorite. When a husband and wife end up working out together, the husband always ends up doing more. The same happens when a husband and wife start dieting together…the husband always ends up eating more.

Husband and wife work out together - Funny Cartoon

When the relationship has just begun or when you are newly married, the husband and wife shower together often. Last time I asked my wife “hey, want to shower together?” she pointed at my four-year-old son and said, “That’s what happened when we last time showered together!”

Husband showers with hot wife - Funny Cartoon

Men just can’t stay in bed. Women can’t stay in bed alone.

Husband and wife wake up in morning - Funny Cartoon

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Contrary to popular belief, girlfriends and wives are good fixers around the house. I don’t know why men are seen as better fixers…they just aren’t. Dear handywomen…where are you all?

Wife helps husband fix Ikea furniture - Funny Cartoon

Again, contrary to popular belief wives and girlfriends can handle spiders, lizards and cockroaches much better than men. Maybe because they are well prepared for the battle.

Wife kills cockroach as husband watches - Funny Cartoon

This is exactly how it happens in our house, so my heart goes out to you, dear Yehuda. But hey, washing dishes in the house is better than washing dishes at the restaurant.

Husbands turn to do the dishes - Funny Cartoon

This is bang on. Last time when I refused to remove my shirt, my wife asked me, “Is it because you are shaped like a mushroom?”
I looked straight into her eyes and said, “Hey, I may be shaped like a mushroom, but you do know that I am a fun-gi!”

Husband shy to take his shirt off - Funny Cartoon

Folks who have a bad hair day every day, won’t be able to relate to this. Neither would the guys who don’t have hair to start with.

Wife has band hair day and husband scared - Funny Cartoon

You know what I hate more than forgetting important days? When my wife forgets them. But when it comes to Valentine’s Day I don’t mind my wife forgetting the day.

Wife forgets valentine's day - Funny Cartoon

This is so true. The strength of a relationship can be gauged by the amount space the husband gets in a selfie. The lesser the space he gets, the stronger the bond.

Husband and wife take a selfie - Funny Cartoon

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I have been my wife’s traveling pillow for long. Maybe that’s why I walk with one shoulder down. And no, it is not from the weight of my wife’s drool.

Husband is wife's travelling pillow - Funny Cartoon

This doesn’t happen in our house. Maybe because we have been married for 13 years. Or maybe because my wife believes in letting the booty go, and if it was your booty it wouldn’t get lost.

Wife defends her booty - Funny Cartoon

Men and Women

I do NOT help my wife and you should also NEVER help your wife

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//Produced As Is//

A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”

He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. After being quite for some time, he said with admiration: “I’m glad you help your wife. I do not help because my wife does not praise me when I help her. Last week I washed the floor and there was no thanks.”

After I was done with my dishes, I went back to him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home.

I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.

I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.

I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.

I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.

I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes because the clothes are also mine and my family’s.

I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife had finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing in her children, cooking, organizing, etc. he said thank you. Not a normal thank you but something from the depths of his heart.

He said he hadn’t because till now he had thought it was all her job.

Let us give her a hand. Let us behave like true companions. Let us not behave like guests who only come to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs other needs. Let us start feeling at home in our own house.

Agree with this? Help a woman, share this with everybody.

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