Stop! Police

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
– Jeff Marder

After reading a report on a five year old Policeman in India, I thought we should write a tribute for the policemen (and policewomen). After all, their`s is an un-paid job. Why else do you think they stand on the road, stopping cars and bikes and collecting chanda.

With the policemen busy collecting chanda, today`s World has very little crime. Perhaps, it is also because all of us know that crime is against the law.

It was not always the same. Back then, i.e., before the Police were formed, there was complete chaos. Father-in-laws would rape their daughter-in-laws. Mother-in-laws would burn their daughter-in-laws. Baby girls would be killed. Note the trend of committing crimes on the weaker sex, but we would ignore it for now…as all have done.

Let us get back to the police in this land – the harbinger of peace. Had it not been for the pot-bellied, lazy, rude and filth-speaking policemen (shouldn`t we mention policewomen here also?) we would have been living in chaos. Thanks to these men clad in dirty khaki we live with our head held high, and our tails between our legs. Tails (and not tales) between our legs because we believe in the unwritten law that our parents taught us. And as kids we did not know where to go and erase it – after all it was unwritten law.

When it comes to law there are two kinds of people. Those that believe that there are two kinds of people and those don`t. I know, that sounds stupid…but aren`t most of our laws stupid. If you don`t believe me try following the Imrana rape case.

I met a friend of mine, who had just come out of jail. Here is a conversation I had with him.

“That`s not bad. You are already out in the open.”

“Yes, mate. Had it not been for my lawyer, I would have still been inside the jail,” he replied with a smile whipping across his face.

“Must have been a good lawyer then?”

“Ho yeah…he was quite a digger. With two people working…we could dig the tunnel faster.”

Even before I could react, he had just vanished…I did not know what to do and just walked back home. I guess, the policemen at the jail would have also felt like me.

Gone are the days when the Police would appear on the screen (yes we are talking of movies) after the hero had fought the villains and also tied them to a tree. Now, they don`t appear at all. Or in some case they do appear …but after the movie is over and the credits are scrolling.

Here is a conversation between a speeding driver and a traffic policeman.

Officer: Did you know you were speeding. Where is your license?
Driver: I can’t reach for my license unless you hold my beer.

Officer: Speeding and drunk? Did you know you were traveling 100 kms/hr?

Driver: Wow…you must have done a tremendous job to keep up. Do you sometimes catch yourself for speeding?

Officer: Nope, I am allowed to speed. And anyways, it is a police car…so more safe.

Driver: Anyways, I don`t expect you to be chasing me running. Shucks, before seeing you I thought one had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

Officer: I am fit. Just that it has been ages since I left school and sports.

Driver: I agree. I also wanted to be a policeman but then decided to study. Hope you are not going to check my trunk.

Officer: Your trunk? No…but can you help me to my car…all that high-speed chase has made me tired.

Driver: Sure officer. Wouldn`t you want my license?

Officer: No thanks. I already have my own.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *