Aging Gracefully

Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell you that, would tell you anything.
– Oscar Wilde

I am thirty years old. That is…1/4th of my life is already over. I didn`t realize I was getting old until they showed character-artist AK Hangal on Doordarshan and I found him relatively young.

On second thoughts, thirty is not that bad an age. I mean, if there had been 20 months in a year..I would have been through only 18 birthdays and hence would be only 18 years old. The better part is, it would have been illegal for Rekha (my wife) to marry me.

Talking of birthdays, Joan Rivers once said: When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes three years off.

It is not only the women who hide their age. Most men are also known to do the same after they approach 40. Unfortunately, these are the ones who prefer old wine and old cheese.

Once, I was introducing a neighbor of mine to a pretty girl. I said: “Shalini, this is my neighbor. Looking at him, you can never tell he is in his 70s.”

He immediately shot back: “Early 70s”.

Thanks to the latest in cosmetics…old men and women can hide their age. Anti-wrinkle face creams are a big hit…but the users fail to understand that once a grape becomes a raisin…there is no way it can become a grape again. As for the dyeing of white hair…somebody needs to stop a bald man and ask him how good white hair looks.

A recent movie, Pyar Mein Twist has Rishi Kapoor and Dimple Kapadia romancing like they did in the 1973-movie Bobby. Many didn`t receive the movie with open arms. They probably think…romance should be left to the young. One crude joke even suggested that after their marriage Rishi and Dimple visit the Viagra Falls for honeymoon instead of the Niagra Falls.

I don`t remember who, but somebody worth listening to once said…the difference between the young and the old is…the young forget to pull up the zipper …and the old forget to pull it down.

During a recent survey among the really old, the anchor asked: “So, who all want to live till 100?” All the 99 year olds raised their hands. The only 100-year-old gentleman in the group was asked if he wanted to live till 101. He replied in the negative and gave ‘no peer pressure` as the reason.

One guy I appreciate on this front is Lala Amarnath. He was a cricketer and he loved centuries….yet didn`t mind giving up when he was all of 88 years old!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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