Love and hate relationships with wives

It has been ages since I updated you on how my married life with Rekha has been progressing. Let me break the streak and come up with a post on how “blissful” the marriage has been.

As you are already aware I am not a fan of this institution called Marriage. Perhaps, because of what I heard at the Sri Anna Poorneshwari Temple in Cherrukunnu, two seconds before Rekha and I got married.

While adjusting my silk dhoti, I heard a 10-year-old boy ask his father: “Father, why is Chandran uncle giving Rekha didi`s hand to Rajan uncle? Why are they holding hands?”

The gravity in the question appealed to me and I looked up to catch the father`s answer. He said: “Son, it`s a little like the boxing matches you see on ESPN. Have you seen the referee call both the boxers to the center and ask them to hold hands?”

After hearing that answer, I only had two seconds to change my mind, and couldn`t.

In the last five years (I think we got married on Sept 8, 2004!) I have learnt that one needs two things to succeed in marriage: Sense of humor and a very, very short memory (Not like Aamir Khan, of course!).

Unfortunately, I only have myself to blame for this marriage. If there was somebody else…I would have killed the person by now.

And it is not that talks of our marriage started with the question: “You are what? Did you just say that you were pregnant?”…we had ample amount of time on our hands to walk out, but we didn`t….which is definitely surprising.

Not that I make love with a lady in my office, come back home and say I worked like a dog in office today (if you get the hint!). That`s not true. At least, doesn`t hold true for my office.

Not that she calls up her ex-boyfriends when I am away and talks to them for hundreds of minutes/month. I checked via a friend in Airtel`s Corporate office and she has spoken to Sachin for only 77 minutes this month and with Sridhar for 93 minutes. Click here to find out their relationship.

My wife talks to me about Sachin & Sridhar, though. She gives me hints that these are the two gentlemen she could have married…but didn`t, because she wanted me to be happy. I don`t buy her story but hear her out.

If you ask me, Eve would have been the only woman, who didn`t utter sentences like: “You know…I had a choice, I could have married X.” or “Y was way better than you, but I choose you because I didn`t want to disappoint you.” Ask me why? Because Adam was the first man.

But then…knowing the women I have met in my life I wouldn`t be surprised, if Eve is known to have said: “Did you know…after making me, God wanted to marry me.”

If you are a married male, you probably know that there are only two reasons for your wife to fight with you – you and your family members. If you are a married lady…you don`t need to be told the two reasons why your husband fights with you – his wife and her family.

While Rekha and I are still figuring out how we can start loving each other…we have found a solution to love each other`s family members. For example, she loves my mother-in-law…and I adore her mother-in-law. Now, that`s a beginning. What say?

Other Funny Reads

# It is over. I am no longer a virgin…oops…available
# Rekha’s father touches a chord with me
# I am back in Chennai after 24 days marriage leave
# Watching Lion King with my newly wedded wife
# Sharing my bed with another woman

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By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

20 replies on “Love and hate relationships with wives”

hey, i am a first time visitor on this blog and i must say that i just cant get enough of it.
great sense of humour, awesome posts.

waiting for more to come.
till then, enjoy your married life

I wonder why we all males are so fussy over our silk dhotis? Moreover,
I call for an urgent cessation of dhoti wearing for the poor groom at marriage ceremonies. What difference would it make anyway, as after marriage, he is destined to have his dhoti pulled away in the most mercilesss of ways by post marital circumstances!

In bengali there’s a nice way to ask a person’s well being, while meeting him after long time- ” Hey how are you? Married or happy?”
One more fable.
A son while seeing two donkeys walking asked ‘Dad, why are they together?’
The dad replied-‘ because they are husband & wife’.
Visually surprised, the kid asked again-‘ You mean donkeys get married too?’
Dad (with a big sigh)- It’s ONLY the donkeys, who get married.

Dear Mr. Rajan

as there is no substitute for organs of our body, so it is with marriage.. only one spouse can understand the other.. this u will understand when u reach old age

Hey now, come on….it can’t be as gross as you make it appear… Tell you, you guys actually make a great couple – my hubby would have got a nice one had he been checking my Airtel bills and blogging about my ex’es… That makes Rekha a sweetheart of a wife! And you………..

Tell me… how do you manage to continue blogging like this and yet stay married… maybe that is a different post…

All the best to you… Or should I say that to your wife πŸ™‚

Jammy…i saw the appreciation words that u have put in as comments in other writer’s blogs. It’s beautiful to see that.

hahaha jammmy so now on, yr girl friends stories are floated /included with rekha’s ex-bfs… aish karo !!

Hi Brother,

Funny as hell and brilliant. I loved the concept of marrying every three ones. The pics are good too. Good luck to both of you. 77 mts with Sachin… haha

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Dude! You need to buy ur wife some flowers and talk like the men in the movies….Then your wife wont be so bitchy. And BTW, you married her cuz you got wore down. Its ur fault for getting into that trap. You should have left her alone to to go to the next man that comes along instead of writing this shit about her. If you were my husband or even if I knew you personally, Id kick you between the legs and then cut ur (explicit) off! and make you eat it…….Thats what would happen.

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