Many people ask me, “What is Rekha’s reaction to your articles?”
Some ask, “Does your wife even like being fodder for your content?”
Some say, “Look at his audacity… posting his entire thought process online.”
And go on to ask, “Now that you have revealed your thought process publicly, doesn’t it become difficult to have your way in the relationship? Because Rekha knows how your mind works.”
And some readers, go one step further and say, “Masked misogynist. Ladies be aware.”
Please allow me to respond.
Does Rekha read my posts? Yes, she does. Once before it goes live (she is my editor), and once after it is on Facebook.
Does she enjoy them? Mostly yes. And when she doesn’t like it, I have to rewrite. I am that small-time director trying to cast Rajinikanth in their movie…if the Super Star wants a few changes in the script, who am I to refuse?
Does she agree with everything I write? Never. If Rekha agreed with everything I wrote, she won’t be the one I fell in love with.
I would immediately stop writing and take her to a doctor, “She’s behaving too nice with me…something is wrong.”
“Damn, that’s scary,” he would exclaim, and then shout at the nurse, “Nurse, quick…get me her vitals.”
In short, that is not how our marriage works. In fact, many of my posts exist because Rekha says things I could never have imagined. I only document the damage.
Some people feel I use Rekha for content. Wrong. Rekha only tries to improve me….makes me a better person.
Every day, she tests my patience, listening skills, fashion sense, emotional maturity, domestic usefulness, and ability to stand quietly while being corrected.
I fail in most departments and then I write about it. Whatever I write is hardly about her – if you re-read it you will realize it is all about me and my travails.
Some people worry that by writing about my thought process, I am weakening my position in marriage.
Brother, what position? After 25 years with Rekha, my position in marriage is like that beige coloured plastic stool in our bathroom.
It is useful occasionally, gets moved around often, but never consulted.
Also, some of you have assumed that in my marriage I have it “my way.” That’s very sweet of you. Very innocent. Very 1991…like how India was before the Indian Economy was liberalized.
A husband having his way in marriage is like a government project finishing on time. Theoretically it is possible but both you and I know that it is rarely witnessed.
And yes, Rekha knows my thought process. That is why I don’t have to hide it. In fact, she knew my thought process long before I did. Women are like that.
A husband will spend half an hour building a lie. His wife will look at him for three seconds and say, “Don’t even try.” That’s why I sometimes think that women are born with an inbuilt lie recognition technology.
Now coming to the serious allegation – misogyny.
For those of you who don’t know, ‘a misogynist’ is a person who holds a deep-seated hatred, contempt, or prejudice against women. I had to look it up on Google.
This word gets thrown around easily these days. If a man makes fun of women, he is a misogynist. If a man makes fun of his wife, he is a misogynist. If a man makes fun of himself while making fun of his wife, he is a masked misogynist.
But here is the truth. I don’t write about Rekha because I look down on her. I write about Rekha because I look up to her.
Sometimes from the floor, while arranging her saree’s pleats. Sometimes from the sofa, while pretending to understand her mood. Sometimes from the kitchen, while hiding empty bottles before Ponni comes. And sometimes from a safe distance, because survival is important.
In my posts Rekha is not the joke. I am. She is usually the person around whom the joke happens. There is a difference.
In most of my posts, Rekha is the one with clarity. I am the confused fellow trying to survive the situation with minimum injuries.
And I think, if my posts make people laugh, it is not because I expose my wife. It is because I expose marriage.
That strange institution where two people love each other, irritate each other, support each other, judge each other’s online shopping, fight over AC temperature, discuss feelings at 10:30 p.m., stab each other in the thigh (just enough to injure, but not kill) and still ask, “Want some tea?” in the morning.
And mind you, Rekha is a very strong woman….exactly the way I love my women.
If she ever feels I have crossed a line, she will not write a comment on Facebook. She will come directly to the bedroom and start a sentence with, “Rajan, we need to talk.”
And after that, even Mark Zuckerberg cannot save me.
Until then, I will continue writing. After 25 years of marriage, I have understood one thing – love is not always flowers, poetry, and candlelight dinners. Sometimes love is your wife letting you make her the heroine of your jokes online…because she wants you to be serious everywhere else in your life.