We Rajans are romantic people and when it comes to falling in love, we start early.
Today, let me tell you about my first affair, which lasted four years.
After growing up in different parts of the country, at the age of 14, I came back to Tamil Nadu, and we settled down in Madurai.
My two sisters and I were enrolled in Kendriya Vidyalaya in Narimedu, Madurai.
There was one problem – I was not fluent in Tamil….I could understand it, but I could not speak it well. I was more fluent in English and Hindi.
But the moment I joined 9th, the boys and I bonded over Tamil swear words.
Remember, this was the late 1980s. Back then, in Tamil Nadu, if a guy held a girl’s hand, either they would be married off or the guy’s hands would be cut off.
But since I was new, I had no clue what Madurai was like.
I think within a month or two, one of my new-found friend whispered, “One of our classmates loves you. Do you love her?”
To protect the identity of this pretty lady, I am not going to name her here. Let us call her Revathi.
I told him, “Dai, I don’t even know who Revathi is. How will I know if I love her?”
My friend asked, “Have you seen K. Balachander’s movie Sindhu Bhairavi?”
“Yes, I have seen it on Doordarshan,” I said. Back then award winning regional language movies would get telecast in the afternoon, on weekends.
“Revathi looks like Suhasini, the heroine of that movie,” he continued.
I was like, “Really? Show me who she is.”
My friends then took me to the water drinking area where the girls were washing their tiffin boxes after lunch. They pointed to a girl and said, “She’s the one.”
They all looked the same to me – they were all wearing the same uniform, had braided hair with red ribbons and had steel tiffin boxes in their hands.
The reluctant me still wasn’t ready.
I asked, “Hey, what is the benefit of being in love?”
One of my friends, who had been silent till then, stepped forward and said, “Listen, boy, her mum is an amazing cook. If you love her she will share her tiffin with you.”
Before I could react, another friend said, “She writes really well, so you can get her notes.”
Yet another said, “From 10th standard onwards…we are going to have biology practicals, and she draws really well.”
Then the fifth gang member stepped forward and said, “Forget all that…you will be the first guy in our gang to have a girlfriend.”
That was it. I was sold.
I announced, “Sure. I also love her.”
Immediately, Revathi’s friend who had come to my friends with the proposal was contacted and it was conveyed that I also loved her back.
Revathi and I were together for four years but after the 12th board exams we went our separate ways.
But I remember three incidents from that relationship that I can never forget.
Let me share them with you today.
//Incident No. 1//
On her way back from school, Revathi had to pick up her younger brother, who studied in another school.
I would cycle with her every day to her younger brother’s school, and just before her brother came out, I would hide among the crowd so that he couldn’t see me.
Once her younger brother sat on her cycle, she would search for me among the crowd of uniforms, I would wave goodbye, and she would leave.
But one day, while we were waiting, it started raining.
I think we had been in the relationship for more than two years at that point.
Because of the rain, we stood under the branches of a tree that extended out from inside the school compound wall.
The branches were not very wide, so we were standing very close to each other. Our shoulders were touching….I think it was the first and only time.
At that moment, I don’t know what came over me…hormones maybe…I held her hand, and she held mine.
Because it was raining, the students were not coming out of the school…which meant we got a decent amount of time to stand next to each other and enjoy the rain. Some raindrops had passed through the branches and lodged themselves between her hair, and some had even fallen on her face.
It was an intensely romantic moment till one rickshaw man spoilt it. He had been waiting to pick up the students, but when he saw me with Revathi, for reasons we didn’t know then…he got super pissed.
Despite the rain, he got off his rickshaw, walked towards me, and said, “Keep moving, son. I don’t want you to come near this girl again.”
I didn’t know why the rickshaw guy was getting angry at me for standing next to her, but Revathi didn’t want any trouble, so she said, “Go home Rajan…we will speak later.”
Anyway, even as Revathi stood there under the branches, I took my cycle and left.
The next day, Revathi told me that till third standard, she had studied in her brother’s school, and the same rickshaw guy was her mode of transport.
He had recognized her, and finally, it made sense. I am guessing he didn’t want one of his girls, whom he had seen growing up, to get into trouble.
At that moment, my love for Revathi was so high that just because the rickshaw guy wanted to protect her, I started liking him as well.
Unfortunately, I never got a chance to see him again, because after that incident, Revathi wanted us to part ways at least 100 metres before the school.
//Incident No. 2//
Our school was known for its kabaddi team, and occasionally, our physical education sir would take us to local tournaments on weekends.
On one such occasion, once we reached school, our teacher announced that the tournament had been cancelled. Remember back then we didn’t have mobiles, so communication used to be slow.
Now, we had permission from our parents to be away for the day, and we had nothing to do.
So Revathi’s two girlfriends and my two male friends made a plan for us to watch a movie together.
It was 1990, and Tamil actor Karthik’s movie ‘Ethir Kaatru’ had just released. It was playing at Saraswati Theatre in the Sellur area of Madurai. Today, it is called Gopuram Cinemas, and I am told it is a three-screen multiplex.
It was decided that Revathi and I would sit in the middle. One of my male friends and one of Revathi’s girlfriends would sit on one side, and the other pair would sit on the other side.
If, as a teenager, you have never sat next to the girl you love when the lights go off in the theatre, let me tell you, it is a very different feeling.
Your hormones are bursting, but deep inside, the gentleman in you is saying, “Control yourself, Bheem!”
The movie was boring, but since I was a fan of the hero, it didn’t matter. I was such a big fan that sometimes minutes would go by, and I would forget that I was with my girlfriend.
Then the interval came, and all three boys went out while the girls stayed inside.
Once we stepped out of the theatre enclosure, and the boys asked me, “So, did you hold her hand?”
I asked back, “Why?”
Both my friends looked at each other. Then one of them slapped me on the shoulder and said, “We have spent ₹36 to come to this movie. Don’t waste it!”
I still didn’t get it, so enquired further, “What do you mean?”
The other one said, “Hold her hand and watch the movie.”
My reply was, “No way. She won’t like that, guys.”
To cut a long story short, despite the advice of my friends, even in the second half of the movie, I did not hold her hand.
But three times during the movie, I made an attempt – I could only go as far as touching my forearm with her forearm.
Every time that happened, I would steal a glance at her in the glow of the movie screen. She wouldn’t turn towards me but I think I spotted a faint smile each of those three times.
My two friends didn’t talk to me for a couple of days after that, saying I had wasted a golden opportunity. I didn’t care because Revathi was still my friend after we got out of the theatre.
//Incident No. 3//
Revathi’s dad’s job kept him away from the family for months on end. I know where he worked, but I won’t reveal that to ensure her privacy. As a result, Revathi’s mum almost single-handedly brought her up.
One day, while leaving school, Revathi told me, “You know what, my mum is not home. Why don’t you come over for tea? I make good tea.”
And she had the cutest smile when she said this.
As soon as she got onto her cycle and turned the corner, I ran towards my two best friends and said, “Guys, we have an invite from Revathi. We’re going to her house for tea.”
My friends asked, ‘Are you sure it is not just you? Are we also invited?’
I replied, “She didn’t specifically say I could invite others, but does that matter?”
And since we were going to my girlfriend’s house the rules of the game suggested that I should pedal the cycle, while one friend sat on the front bar and the other sat on the carrier behind.
The house wasn’t very far – just four kilometres from the school.
Revathi did seem surprised when she saw me at the door with two of my best friends.
I clearly remember her saying, “Oh, you brought them too!”
And I remember saying, “You said you make good tea…and both of them love tea!”
Revathi didn’t smile this time.
Anyway, as my friends and I sat in the living room, Revathi went to the kitchen to make tea. After a while she peeped out of the kitchen, and said, “Rajan, you know how to make tea…right? Come and help me.”
I refused. I said, “You said you make the best tea. Today, I’m going to taste your tea…so bring it on.”
This time too she didn’t smile.
While the tea was on the stove, she brought us biscuits. Her father had bought them from a foreign country, and we three were seeing such biscuits for the first time.
I counted the total number of biscuits – there were six. We took one each and left three on the plate because our middle-class parents had taught us that this was good behaviour.
After we had tea, Revathi turned towards me and asked if I wanted to see her room.
I immediately turned towards my friends and said, “Guys, come, let’s go and see Revathi’s room.”
Both my friends refused. They said they had to discuss something important and continued to stay in the living room.
Revathi motioned to me to follow her up the stairs. I jumped five steps at a time to impress my girlfriend and reached the first floor in no time.
As soon as I stepped onto the first floor, Revathi turned towards me and stood there.
I also stood still.
Then she said, “I didn’t call you here to see my room.”
That irritated me, and I told her, “Come on, then why did you call me to the first floor? Let’s go down…they are waiting.”
While climbing up the stairs, Revathi had been beaming. Now, suddenly, she had gone quiet.
She said, “OK, fine. As you wish.”
Then she paused a bit and said, “Hold on….your friends are there. Let me anyway show you my room, and then let’s go down.”
I didn’t understand what she meant. But for the next five minutes, we explored her room, which was pretty rich, because my family of five lived in a one-bedroom house.
Once the five minutes were over she said, “Now let’s go down.”
While going down yet again I jumped five steps at a time to impress Revathi and then sat down with my friends.
After about ten minutes of sitting on the sofa and chatting, Revathi said, “My mum might come soon. It’s best you guys leave now.”
While we were leaving I noticed that Revathi wasn’t as chirpy as she had been when we came in. I thought she was sad because we were leaving.
Once she closed the black gate of her house and went in, we decided to push our cycle for some distance.
As soon as we turned the corner, one of my friends held me by the forearm and asked, “So?”
“So what?” I asked back.
“Bloody hell… you were alone with her on the first floor for five minutes,” the other friend said.
“Yes, she was showing me the house,” I replied.
“Tell us the truth…did you kiss her? Did you hug her?” one of them asked.
“No way…are you mental?” I shot back.
My friends looked at each other and nodded their heads. Then one of them said, “Machan…she wanted to spend time alone with you. That’s why you were invited.”
At that moment, I could have murdered my friends. How could they say such things about my girlfriend?
But they were my friends, so I controlled myself and told them the truth – that we didn’t kiss. They were pretty upset with me.
Since it was awkward, we decided to start cycling back to school.
But right at that moment, I remembered something.
I put my hands inside both my pockets and took out the three ‘foreign’ biscuits I had picked up from the plate just before leaving.
“I got these…for the three of us!” I shouted, getting all excited, because I knew it meant that I loved my friends.
Suddenly, my friends forgot about Revathi.
They clapped me on the shoulder and said, “Semma machan!” and took their biscuits.
It took us 20 minutes to push the cycle and walk back to school, but we made those biscuits last the entire distance. Two months later, when 12th standard got over, Revathi wanted to break up with me. I still don’t know why.