A real conversation with my previous boss

Boss: What`s up?
Me: Ceiling.
Boss: No, besides that.
Me: My spirits.
Boss: That was not very smart.
Me: I agree.
Boss: So what`s up?
Me: The fan.
Boss: Besides the fan, ceiling and your spirits…you idiot.
Me: Hmm….the pealing plaster?
Boss: Did not see that one coming. What is up…besides the ceiling, fan, your spirits and the pealing plaster?
Me: Nothing much.
Boss: How about work?
Me: Yeah that is happening.
Boss: What is happening?
Me: The work.
Boss: What work?
Me: The usual work.
Boss: What usual work?
Me: The usual stuff.
Boss: What usual stuff?
Me: You know…the works.
Boss: Let me put it straight…what is the work you have been doing sitting here for the whole of last week, which you can show me, and claim to be good for the company?
Me: That`s not a very straight question.
Boss: Why?
Me: You are indirectly asking me if I was of any worth to the company.
Boss: Good you got the indirect meaning of my direct question.
Me: You could have been direct.
Boss: I thought I was direct.
Me: So are you going to sack me?
Boss: Yes.
Me: I have no problems. I have this brother of mine… who is a good worker…would fit right into my profile…would you want him to come for an interview tomorrow?
Boss: Sure.
Me: Thought you should know…he is my identical twin. Only thing he doesn`t have a mustache.
Boss: Sure, ask him to meet me tomorrow.
Me: Sure. You are a smart boss. By the way, do you know a barber shop nearby?