I have a doubt that I am a woman. I don`t have much proof for this – for example, I don`t get 1000+ scraps a day on Orkut and ibibo. Neither do men stare at my chest while I talk to them nor do they open the door for me and look at my ass while I leave the room….but I do have a feeling that I might be more of a woman than a man.
Everything was fine in my World, till last Sunday, when we went to Reliance Super for shopping – it was our 1762nd visit since the day it opened four months back.
We planned to buy a new dining set to replace the one gifted by three bachelor friends, on our marriage. One can only imagine how good a dinning set can three, always-in-the-debt, bachelor friends gift. Anyway, that`s a different story.
A tired man – wouldn`t you be tired if you had to choose between a 17 piece, 22 piece and a 31 piece dinning set and you only had 90 minutes on hand? Wouldn`t the expectation be taxing? That`s exactly what happened to me and I wilted. While on the border of unconsciousness and consciousness, the woman in me came out…and it stayed on for the next two days – that`s till today evening.
I couldn`t write a post while the man in me was suppressed because every time I sat down in front of my desktop, I started cleaning it.
As I was saying, after the 90 minutes in front of the dinner sets…I refused to push the shopping cart. Wasn`t that a man`s job? I even started arranging the items (eggs, aerated drinks, watermelon, toilet paper etc) inside the shopping cart. I realized that when I am a woman, I hate eggs touching the toilet paper.
There are three things men do in shopping malls – push the shopping cart, reach out for the shampoos in the top counter (husbands of tall women don`t get this privilege) and stare at other men`s girl friends. I realized I wasn`t doing any of these.
On my way back, I hit a car from behind. He slowed down, and meant to say something to me. Since his window was up…I could only lip read. This is what I could manage: “You mo_ _er _ _ _ ker, why are y_ u drivi_g l_ke a lady?”
Once inside the house, I couldn`t relax till I had arranged all the edibles inside the fridge and the other items in the kitchen cabinets.
Later in the evening, I opened a Fosters beer but didn`t like its taste. Was I not drinking beer because I would get a tummy? Or was I just behaving like a lady? I don`t know.
I told my wife that I would like to take breakfast to office on Monday. She did ask me about my sudden change of heart…but I didn`t have an explanation.
I didn`t tell her that I had this huge urge to join the ladies in my office for their 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. breakfast where everything from diaper rashes to school fees was discussed and digested.
Somehow, Saturday`s frozen pizza in the fridge seemed less appealing, and I had salad for dinner.
Around 9.30 p.m., I went to bed complaining of headache.
Note: If you are a lady, you probably understand the symptoms better – can you tell me the truth…am I turning into a woman? If yes, I would like to know your thoughts on same gender sex?