Am I turning into a woman?

I have a doubt that I am a woman. I don`t have much proof for this – for example, I don`t get 1000+ scraps a day on Orkut and ibibo. Neither do men stare at my chest while I talk to them nor do they open the door for me and look at my ass while I leave the room….but I do have a feeling that I might be more of a woman than a man.

Everything was fine in my World, till last Sunday, when we went to Reliance Super for shopping – it was our 1762nd visit since the day it opened four months back.

We planned to buy a new dining set to replace the one gifted by three bachelor friends, on our marriage. One can only imagine how good a dinning set can three, always-in-the-debt, bachelor friends gift. Anyway, that`s a different story.

A tired man – wouldn`t you be tired if you had to choose between a 17 piece, 22 piece and a 31 piece dinning set and you only had 90 minutes on hand? Wouldn`t the expectation be taxing? That`s exactly what happened to me and I wilted. While on the border of unconsciousness and consciousness, the woman in me came out…and it stayed on for the next two days – that`s till today evening.

I couldn`t write a post while the man in me was suppressed because every time I sat down in front of my desktop, I started cleaning it.

As I was saying, after the 90 minutes in front of the dinner sets…I refused to push the shopping cart. Wasn`t that a man`s job? I even started arranging the items (eggs, aerated drinks, watermelon, toilet paper etc) inside the shopping cart. I realized that when I am a woman, I hate eggs touching the toilet paper.

There are three things men do in shopping malls – push the shopping cart, reach out for the shampoos in the top counter (husbands of tall women don`t get this privilege) and stare at other men`s girl friends. I realized I wasn`t doing any of these.

On my way back, I hit a car from behind. He slowed down, and meant to say something to me. Since his window was up…I could only lip read. This is what I could manage: “You mo_ _er _ _ _ ker, why are y_ u drivi_g l_ke a lady?”

Once inside the house, I couldn`t relax till I had arranged all the edibles inside the fridge and the other items in the kitchen cabinets.

Later in the evening, I opened a Fosters beer but didn`t like its taste. Was I not drinking beer because I would get a tummy? Or was I just behaving like a lady? I don`t know.

I told my wife that I would like to take breakfast to office on Monday. She did ask me about my sudden change of heart…but I didn`t have an explanation.
I didn`t tell her that I had this huge urge to join the ladies in my office for their 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. breakfast where everything from diaper rashes to school fees was discussed and digested.

Somehow, Saturday`s frozen pizza in the fridge seemed less appealing, and I had salad for dinner.

Around 9.30 p.m., I went to bed complaining of headache.

Note: If you are a lady, you probably understand the symptoms better – can you tell me the truth…am I turning into a woman? If yes, I would like to know your thoughts on same gender sex?

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# How do I get six packs in three months?
# Being a celebrity is difficult…
# Why are only women used to sell products?
# Buying a pram for my daughter

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23 thoughts on “Am I turning into a woman?

  1. If yes, I would like to know your thoughts on same gender sex?

    total ROFL moment…. But yea I just realized that maybe the reason i go to the super market every week is to ogle at other women!

  2. I am not sure about the other symptoms but the headache just confirms that you are a transgender for sure. I am pretty sure because this particular symptom is universal among the women .

  3. is this just like the time you thought you were becoming a lesbian.Wel if you have visited Reliance 1762 times in 4 months you probably have lost it(manhood) by now. How you gonna live with this bro?oops sorry sistah…

  4. “One can only imagine how good a dinning set can three, always-in-the-debt, bachelor friends gift.” – I am waiting for all my friends to get married so that I get better gifts for my wedding. (Marriage makes people richer, right? Sigh!)

  5. Try This,

    Catch up with some cricket match, and if u get confused why batsmen dont run after balls hits a boundary then u are turning to a woman

  6. I was very confused initially……… as to what was wrong with the post. The typical Jammy humor seemed to be missing. But then I read the closing line. Fantabulous.

  7. Ok try these,

    – Do you feel like shouting at your husband (who is really your wife) for something you did?
    – Do you feel like shouting at your husband (who is really your wife) for something you did NOT do?
    – Do you reach across the kitchen sink and gossip to the HW next door?
    – Do you cry your eyes out during the saas-bahu series?
    – Do you bleech at yourself when you fart?

    If your answer is “yes” to any (and probably all) of these questions… well, Go Mommy!

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. “I couldnรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt write a post while the man in me was suppressed because every time I sat down in front of my desktop, I started cleaning it.”

    Absolutely hilarious..way to go!!

  9. It seems to me that you are heavily into stereotypes.
    That, men are untidy and women are the cleaners.
    That, men generally don’t care if their food touches bottom wipers (toilet paper, I mean).
    That, as per stereotypes, men do not indulge in housework.
    That, women hit cars from behind.

    Dude, let’s not forget that the days that women stayed inside, doing housework is over. And I’m sure you know that very well.

    You know, I’ve been following your blog for a long while, even though this is the first time I’m commenting. But seriously, either my taste sucks, or our sense of humour just does not match.

  10. Right you are man!
    Why do I do that?
    I don’t know, maybe when I run out of things to read, I read your blog. Or maybe, it’s good for a read because you keep your posts short.
    Seriously man, that’s good. Always, always, always keep your blog posts short.

    Also, you have a cute daughter!
    The first time I came across you blog, you’d written about her and it was a funny read. I come back in hopes of getting another such a read.

  11. I hate to be the party pooper here but all clean people in this world are not women. I, for one, though I am not too proud to say this, is definitely not one – not the clean one I mean, definitely woman.

  12. Hi,

    After a long time… I should say Rhea looks real cute (saw her picture in your post on the adventures of bathing a baby ๐Ÿ™‚ )

    she is totally cute… why arent you living in mumbai? i could have come and played with her for sometime ๐Ÿ™

    Congratulate Rekha… she has got all her looks from Rekha ๐Ÿ˜‰

  13. Also, the reasons for reading someone’s blog need not be that it’s funny. There are millions of other reasons for reading even non-funny blogs.

  14. That is one wacko post….

    ๐Ÿ™‚
    Did you wake up today and have the urge to clean the shelves before making coffee???? then, yes… the woman is u is out for good… lolz

  15. Yes you are. Else the title of this post would be an over-confident “Boy, I’m turning into a woman!”. And no, that has nothing to do with being right ๐Ÿ˜

    -g

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