Men and women handle stress differently. Like me, if you are also married you can go ahead and close this window….but if you aren`t married…carry on reading, these could end up being the words that will leave you a bachelor for life.
Lets start with the women first. Unlike men, they have various kinds of stress. These can be primarily divided into three types:
1) Stress due to withholding a secret
2) Stress due to ‘those 3 days`
3) Stress due to relationships
If I have missed out any, please let me know. My research on women had to be stopped midway when the women on whom I was researching refused to participate due to stress
An author once said “Women pick up more dirt from the telephone than from their vacuum cleaner.” This explains why Telecom companies get 95% of their call revenues from lady clients. Holding a secret can be a tough task for a lady, especially if the secret is about another lady.
Rekha would cozy up to me and say: “If you promise me you will never tell this to anybody, I will tell you something.” Initially, I used to promise and Rekha would share the secret immediately. Now-a-days, I make her a little impatient. I say: “If I can`t share it with anybody, what is the point…so I don`t want to know the secret.”
She would walk around the house a while, looking impatient and cozy up again, “Ok fine. You can share it with your colleagues in office…not with your apartment friends. Shall I start?”
In spite of all this, I would stand by the women folks and say that they never let out a secret – at least not the way it was told to them. Man on the other hand will always forget the spicy part of the secret and make it bland, and unworthy of gossip.
This is the kind of stress that you can expect & plan for. And yet fall for it. Men all over the World get affected by this woman-stress. So much so, there are NGOs out there helping men deal with women during these tough times. One of them is PMSbuddy.com that helps men fix the dates for their girl friends & spouses and sends them warning mails 2 days in advance. Here is a typical warning mail that I get because of the warning alert I have set:
I tend to support women during this ‘period` of stress and hear them out. Hearing them out at this stage is simple, primarily because the same tactics can be repeated month on month. Since you know that they are complaining…all you have to do is repeat this sentence: “I know I made a mistake sweetheart. I will ensure this doesn`t get repeated.”
If you are a sadistic male, this is the right time for you to list out your set of complaints.
Among the various issues that women have, this reason for stress is the biggest. They are always worried about their ‘relationships` with other men, women, children, elderly, in-laws…you name it and they are worried about it. Perhaps, it has to do with the “What are you doing…..what will others think?” question that every parent/grandparent has asked the girl as she was growing up.
Things that she did…like sharing of a secret…end up becoming bigger issues when done by others in the ‘relationship network`. If Rekha has shared with me the gossip that Suresh was going out with Sujatha, it was fine. But if Rekha`s friend Sonali shared the same with her husband, it wasn`t fine.
“But Rekha, you shared it with me?” I would ask her, trying to solve her problem with Sonali.
“Yes…but I got a promise from you…didn`t I?”
“Yes you did. But she could have also taken a promise from her husband.”
“No she wouldn`t have. I know her well.”
The problem is, you can`t assume that her relationship with Sonali is over. After the Suresh-Sujatha incident we met Sonali at Rekha`s office party and through out the party I tried to give a nasty look to Sonali, thinking my wife will be happy that I stood by her. But no…the moment we were in the car, Rekha asked: “Why do you hate my friends? I don`t love your friends, but I at least smile.”
For men, stress is only due to two things. Most important stress is when India (or any other country the man belongs to) loses the cricket match. The next most important is work related stress.
Since there is no solution to India losing their cricket matches, he just picks up a beer and stares at the TV till the World starts seeming fine. On the work front, his stress is pretty simple…whom should he flatter and whom should he dig a grave for. Or if the male is as old as I am, the stress is over why a pretty intern wouldn`t speak to him.
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