My Great Escape

A few weeks back I watched this movie called – The Great Escape. Amazing movie.

It is based on a true story – the largest Allied escape attempt from a German POW camp during the Second World War. Stuck in an escape-proof prison, the allied escape artists orchestrate a master plan that works. Though all the prisoners don`t escape…70 do manage to breathe free.

Ever since I have been planning my own ‘Great Escape’ from my house. The allied soldiers have inspired my escape attempt. I am taking it slow…and not taking any risks…lest I jeopardize my long-term plans.

As you are aware, I have been married for the last 9 months…and now I am yearning for some fresh air. I need to escape from the early morning wake-up alarms, the get-ready for office shouts, the report for breakfast bell, the aren`t you coming for dinner shout from the kitchen and the get into the bed and sleep tight shout after the roll-call.

I have already started digging a tunnel under my bed. Rekha cannot spot it because she runs the house from the drawing room.

Under my pillow I have two forks, and a knife, which will stand me in good stead till the tunnel digging is completed. I also have a Canary (it is a bird miners use to detect the Methane levels). No, the Canary is not under my pillow.

Digging is slow and painful….because it is concrete. Sometimes, I have to wait up to 3 a.m. to start digging. I cannot afford to take risks.

If you were me, and I were you….I am sure you would appreciate my slow progress. It is not easy to dig a tunnel under a bed, when your wife is sleeping on it. The summer is slowing down the progress further. If only we had bought a cot with some more height…I would not be suffering with severe back spasms.

One issue remains….we stay in the 1st floor. Wonder how the ground floor occupant will react when he sees me getting down from his roof.

As an alternative I am also working on a Tarzan swing (a long, strong rope that can be used to swing over an obstacle) from our French window. Once the swing is ready, I can steal way from Rekha`s eyes, swing over our apartment`s surrounding wall and breathe some independence. I have heard independence is good…….some free American friends have said so.

I am using the bed-sheets in my bedroom to form the swing. Keep it to yourself, but everyday I have been taking 2-3 threads from the bed sheet and tying them together so that in two month`s time I will have a strong enough rope. Since, it is gradual progress…Rekha will never notice it.

The only worry is….will winter set in before I finish work on the rope? Coz, in winter…my wife will want to use the bed sheet. Or should I change the date on our Television set and her mobile, so that she doesn`t know when winter sets in? I am confused. But I guess…freedom comes with a price (and some bruises here and there).

Will I manage to escape? Or will I be caught and tried at Rekha`s court? Watch this space. Hope you can keep a secret.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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