As usual, by afternoon I had to apologize and patch up.
If you are married, you probably empathize with me. But if you aren`t you probably think I am a hen-pecked husband. Before I even start proving that I am not hen-pecked, let me tell you that being hen-pecked is not an easy task. Ask Wadera who married Priyanka, daughter of the most powerful family in the country. Unfortunately, like his mother-in-law Wadera can`t resign from his duties when the going gets tough.
Getting back to non-political issues on hand…yes…I surrendered.
A Madhuri Dixit song was being broadcast on SS Music, and I being her ardent fan stood glued to the TV. Since I wasn`t wearing my glasses I had to stand within two feet of the TV to get the complete picture. Being the good, concerned wife that she is, Rekha insisted I find my glasses, wear them, get to a safe distance and then watch the song. I knew by the time, I found my glasses (wonder if you remember a class 1, CBSE lesson called “Kutchu`s glasses”)…wore them and reached the safe distance the song would be over. So, I stood my ground.
“Rajan, please don`t watch it from so close.”
“Rekha, why don`t you work on the breakfast?”
“Rajan, you are not even wearing your glasses.” She calls me by name when she is angry.
“Rekha, if I were wearing my glasses I won`t be standing so close.” I also use her name when I am angry.
I remember she asking (or ordering?) me to move back a few times. But I didn`t budge. When I am angry my math goes for a toss…and that`s why I am unable to tell you the number of times she asked me to move.
I was engrossed in the song and it was a Madhuri close up when the TV suddenly went blank. My wife had switched it off using the remote. This upset me. Being an honest, chaste man, I don`t get angry so soon …but when I do…I become a monster. Of course, sometimes I also become an Ogre.
With my eyes spitting fire, I turned towards my wife and stared right into her eyes. Not to let down all the wives in the World, she stared right back at me. This is when the gentleman in me took over…and I remembered what my Army man father had taught me, “never stare at a woman who is not comfortable with you.” I shifted my gaze.
But I walked right up to her and announced my defiance: “I am not going to take bath.”
“You would smell. And today you have to go and meet the ICICI Bank Manager and also that passport guy,” she replied.
“But I will use my Axe Effect.” It was a momentary triumph.
With the battle won, I started doing everything the way she doesn`t like. That`s the benefit of having been married for 20 months – you know what your wife doesn`t like.
The circumstances demanded that both Rekha and I go out together. We didn`t speak much but whenever we spoke…statements followed repartees. It is difficult to say who won the verbal round for we didn`t keep score.
We met the ICICICICIC (I don`t know when to stop) Bank Manager and also the passport office guy and reached home at 3 p.m..
As soon as we stepped inside, the first thing our eyes fell on was the wall-mounted plasma screen (just kidding. Don`t get jealous yet). We both smiled at the same time. We had realized what a waste of time the fight had been. If only we had been nice to each other…we wouldn`t have wasted five hours of our life together.
I still wonder, why I was the only guy who apologized. Either women don`t know how to apologize or God forgot to give them the ‘apologize` gene!