Shopping for my baby daughter

Shopping at Mother Care, Chennai was quite an experience. For those who have been lucky enough not to shop in the place, Mother Care is a store that caters to pregnant women and babies born thereafter. My wife who is still in Kannur REQUESTED me to visit them and buy some clothes for our Miss Sleepy.

No price can be put on the first dress that a father buys for his daughter. And when I say ‘no price` I mean ‘no price`. That`s why I was mighty upset when the salesman said the pink colored 7 inch by 9 inch dress will cost me Rs 500/-.

Why would anybody want to buy a baby dress for Rs 500/- when one can get a Color Plus trouser for two hundred rupees more (at a sale, of course). I ditched clothes and looked for a utility bag for us to carry the baby stuff around – it was labeled Rs 3000/-. The baby trolley`s price range started at Rs 8000/- and thankfully ended at Rs 25,000/-. The baby car seat started at Rs 7000/- and went on till Rs 16,000/-. Somebody needs to tell Mother Care that not all fathers who like to carry their babies in a car seat rob banks!

I wondered if God was punishing me for wanting to carry the Rajan`s family name forward. Or was he punishing somebody else…and I just happened to be in line?

And, then it stuck me.

In spite of Father Francis` best efforts I had failed to understand the story around Adam, Eve, the apple and the punishment given by God for disobeying him. After my visit to Mother Care, Chennai…it was all clear to me.

For the benefit of those whose parents didn`t believe in God and thus never narrated the story of how God created man, here is how it goes:

God sat down to create the most intelligent of all living beings and after a lot of thought decided that Adam should be created first….for had he created Eve first, he would have been forced to create Adam according to Eve`s wishes.

Even as God worked on Adam, Eve would have said: “Why don`t you give him four hands – he will not ask me to hold the stool while changing the light bulb.”

She would have probably even said: “Can`t you make that thing a little longer?”

So, the intelligent God made Adam first. He walked a few steps back, and looked at him with pride in his eyes. Some say that having practiced creating a human being, God then went about creating woman and came up with a better product. I would rather not believe this – for there is no “New & Improved” tag on any woman. Neither is there a tag which says: “With features not seen in earlier versions.”

Anyway, after creating the two, God went about his other chores like – pissing (which we consider as rain), farting (storm, typhoon, cyclone), smiling (lightening – remember the best dentists in the world are in hell and he can use their help), and cleaning his ears (the white clouds that you see are the dirty cotton he throws down with utter disregard for global warming).

Before parting, God asked Adam & Eve not to eat the forbidden fruit – an apple which grew nearby. I am glad Adam and Eve didn`t listen to God and ate the apple anyway- for if they hadn`t we would have had no blogging in the World. But seriously, I think it was God`s mistake that he created Adam and Eve at the wrong age… as teenagers (maybe a 17-year old Eve and 19-year old Adam). An age when you always want to break rules and see what could go wrong.

If only God had created a 33-year old Eve and a 35-year old Adam, they would have listened to him and not ate the apple. Don`t believe me? Ever asked a 35-year old office colleague to break a rule? Especially if he/she is your boss?

So, our teenager Adam and Eve broke the rule and God in a fit of rage shouted: You will be punished” before walking away into the sunset.

Just then Adam looked at Eve as if he were a librarian accepting a book back from one of the students and said: “Hey, there is a leaf missing.”

RSS Feed IconNine months later they have a baby – a baby boy. I forget his name…maybe one of the readers knows what Adam & Eve`s baby boy was called. The proud parents looked at the baby and felt elated. Though they never knew then that there was something called heaven (for Vatican hadn`t invented it yet), they were in 7th heaven.

Out of curiosity, Eve asked Adam, “Remember God had said we will be punished?”

“Yeah.” Adam had started what husbands today do – passive listening.

‘Where is the punishment? It has been ten month since he swore at us…and our life has only gotten better. We have invented sex, and now even have a baby.” Eve was doing what all women do today – asking questions which are difficult to answer.

“No idea.” Adam said.

“Anyway, can you buy some clothes for our son?” Eve didn`t want her son to grow up the way she grew up – without enough clothes to wear.

“Where do I get good clothes?” The good for nothing Adam asked.

“Why not try Mother Care in T Nagar, Chennai. Heard it is good.”

See…I told you…I just happened to be in line.

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30 thoughts on “Shopping for my baby daughter

  1. “Why don’t you give him four hands – he will not ask me to hold the stool while changing the light bulb.”

    This has happened in my house. I am always told to hold the stool or table on which my husband climbs for adventure

  2. Ha ha, that was the worst massacre of the creation story I had ever heard. And while I agree that Eve, would have asked for special features to suit her taste, don’t forget that God put Adam in a deep sleep while He made Eve, so Adam couldn’t mess it up either.

    They had two boys, Cain first, then Abel. At least Adam could save some money there and make Abel wear Cain’s hand me downs, eh?

  3. Jammy why you getting “Sexy Girls at the Beach” kind of advertisements on your blog? Besides, this post was awesome

  4. my kid imaginations are same about rain, clouds, thunders……. a kid still survives within you raj.. when are you going to publish books now ?

  5. good one. Reminds me of the time I first shopped for my daughter. I went in with 300 rupees to get some pyjamas and came out with a bag of huggies cos that’s all I could get for 300 rupees.

  6. reading ur blogs after a good 1 month, jammy.. so came to know of the goodnews only today.. many-many congrats to both of u.. and yeah.. the first article i read is extremely good… so much stuff pending to be read.. i’ll be back..

  7. Jammy, please make a visit to Shoppers Stop… at Chetpet… you would thank god for not keeping you in that line…

    That was a gr8 post…
    Welcome back wrong one

  8. pal…

    just 1 question….why do babies need clothes? why dont parents let their babies live wid their birthday dress til their 1st birthday!or is that the 2nd birthday…i always get a bit confused…..is the first birthday the day the born is born or is it the 1st anniversary of the birth date which bcomes the first birthday?

    besides, chennai is hot(thank god i live in blore)…why bother the kid wid clothes nd all…

  9. LOL Jammy. You did it again! What a novel way of re-inventing “Paradise Lost”!?! 😀

    But tell me Jammy, did you go to Mother Care just to check out the prices? Or did you have the ulterior intention to buy something AT ALL?

    Btw, how’s the baby girl doing? What have you guys named her? Or have you mentioned it in one of your earlier posts that I missed? :-/

  10. nAL: Thanks. I didn’t know Adam was put in deep sleep. is that true or are you just pulling my leg?

    Ohh yeah Cain and Abel….now i remember. You know why they were named so? Adam wanted his sons to have positive names….he wanted his sons to say: “I Cain” and “I am Abel”.

  11. nina: This kid in me (that u are talking abt) is what got me Rekha’s attention before marriage and now it is the same that that earns her ire.

    Publishing of books will have to wait a while…havent had much time to work on the script.

  12. Nishant: Yeah man…shopping till a baby is born is a guilt-ridden experience. After that though it is a no-guilt experience…it is difficult due to the high costs..

  13. uma: Shopper’s Stop? You know why it is called so? Because the biggest of shoppers after going there stop shopping! And thats the place u want me to go and buy my daughter clothes?

    But seriously, I like that place – just that it is 20 kms from my place.

  14. PSG: Babies need clothes to keep them warm. If from the beginning parents don’t give clothes to the babies….they will grow up to be like u and me. And I am sure parents don’t want that to happen.

  15. thunder and lightening.. agreed..

    what abt tsunami,earthquake,vulcano…?
    me still wondering..

    as fer adam’s kids… they were cain and abel…
    cain killed abel.. thats the first murder recorded in the bible..

    gud one jammy… whats ur lil angel’s name btw?

  16. Gayathri: Thanks mate…am glad you loved it. Only today saw ur pictures and said: ‘Shucks, I know that girl.” I was taking you to be the other Gayathri.
    Ohh…i did go to buy…but the shopkeepers weren’t interested in that…they were more intent on embarrassing me with questions like: ‘Are you looking for something cheaper, sir?” “How about the platform sir, they also have a good collection of baby clothes.”

  17. ranjhith: Thats a nice metaphor man…”batting in the pavillion” – will start using it more often.

    Maybe…our cricketers are also like me…they bat in the pavilion and thats why dont do so on the field

  18. chriz: Thanks man…everytime i get fooled looking at ur name. I say to myself…”OH here is a firang readin my blog” and when I see your blog url it ends up being “www.punnaakumaama.blogspot.com” whatever that means!

    TSUNAMI is when he washes his feet in the ocean…earthquake…is when he runs from his wife (the Goddess, of course) and volcano….i have no clue man…

    Tom we are getting the alphabets for our daughter’s name. As of now…everthing held up due to the stupid astrologer (who also happens to be my father in law’s favourite)

  19. Not pulling anything, Jammy. Its true. Ref Genesis 2:21.

    Ha ha, Can and Able! I hope I have your permission to include that in my next Bible lesson for my kid.

  20. punnaakku = fit for nothing
    maama = uncle

    and me started a blg dedicating it to india’s second most funniest blogger….

    me searching fer ur orkut profile, everyday.. but in vain… now its a group of us who have started searching for ur profile in orkut… whats it?

    keep writing jammeeeeeeee

  21. Purchased a High-chair in Mothercare, Kuppu Arcade, Chennai (Store Id 4004) for Rs.4,295.

    Looked at the display piece and ordered. Once we got the product, the piece was different and returned back to the store.

    They tried for one similar piece to the display piece and failed.

    Now the store is not ready to pay my cash back, instead they are asking me to take Gift Voucher for the amount.

    I talked to the manager Mr.Hariharan, but all in vain

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