Teething Issues

With kids come teething issues. For the parents as well. And we aren`t referring to teenagers who get married and then run to the dentist citing pain due to wisdom tooth. Note for teenagers: Please don`t marry before the wisdom tooth grows to its fullest.

When Rhea was born, we had a teether (The dictionary defines a teether as An object or device, such as a teething ring, for a baby to bite on during teething.) ready for her. It was gifted to us by a couple who got 13 teethers as gifts from friends and relatives when their baby was born.

If you are about to have a baby, you might want to tie-up with a baby products retailer and make some money by diverting the surplus to his/her shop. We did the same and made approximately Rs 9785 – which has been credited into Rhea`s bank account as her first earning.

Anyway, for the first five months the teether was of no use. Rhea preferred her nimble fingers to the plastic teether. It took us five months before we could convince her that the teether was made from re-cycled plastic and hence wasn`t contributing to global warming. In September this year, she gave in and started using the teether. If you are a guy and haven`t had a baby yet (babies outside of marriages aren`t being considered while I say this), you probably don`t know what baby colors are.

For your convenience, they are being shown here:

As I was saying, in September Rhea started using her teether. Over time, the teether started donning many roles. Though it was supposed to be a device on which she could chew on during her teething …she also started using it as a toy. She would hold it in her right hand and hit it on the floor…the sound created was orgasmic. At least that`s what I gathered from Rhea`s expressions.

Again, over time…the teether became an integral part of her. She would want to hold it while awake, and when asleep. As a result, the teether was removed from between her lips and placed right next to her when she fell asleep. This was to ensure continuity …and the moment she got up, she would start playing with the teether again.

At least that`s how we ensured she remained happy, till one morning at 4.30 a.m….Rhea got up and decided to play with her teether. After repeated attempts to bang the teether on the cot (which had a cheap six inch mattress) and create some sound and failing…she looked around for a solid surface. What better solid surface on a bed that the father`s forehead? I wouldn`t really go into the details of what happened next…but yeah there was “sound” when she hit my forehead. Mind you, 9-month-olds can be really strong.

In my house, the teether is used for various other activities:

  • As a repository of gum when one need to stick envelopes. Just in case you didn`t know baby saliva has the inherent property of solidifying into a Fevicol-type adhesive when left unattended by an adult for a few days.
  • As a taste-maker during Sambar preparation. That is, if dropped inside by a kid being carried by the mother during cooking.
  • As an ant killer. Teethers can make excellent ant-killers. Surprisingly, when an adult tries it (esp a drunk, male adult) the ‘ant killed per number of attempts` ratio drops down drastically.
  • As excellent stumble-upons. Teethers if left unattended in unsuspecting areas of the house can act as excellent stumble-upons. They are so good that even non-drunk males can fall and hurt their noses.
  • Other Funny Reads

    Getting my hair cut under a tree
    Getting locked inside somebody`s washroom
    A south Indian family in North Indian winter
    Entering a new house

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    6 thoughts on “Teething Issues

    1. It was great foresight that you named your blog ‘ouchmytoe’. Time is ripe to start some supplementary blogs and name them ouchmyforehead, ouchmynose etc.

    2. be careful with kid toys
      For siesta, i slept on my kids bed and oh i was not getting sleep, all toys were stuffed below the bed, i removed all the toys and made his bed neat; night when kiddu went to sleep he came complaining that he is not able to sleep as i had removed all his toys….
      as usual it was hilarious reading raj

    3. Made good reading. To be honest, I was kinda expecting that you would take the colors part a bit more. Especially, when you had taken the pains to make 4 pastel colored rectangles (that would put any Asian Paints Catalogue to shame :P)

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