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Lord Krishna`s Gita might be a Hindu book (or a girl next door), but I am sure all religions suggest that one should just work and not worry about the result. And what`s the first thing we teach our kids? “Don`t cry baby, I will give you a chocolate.” Here, isn`t the chocolate the end result? I have decided that there will be no such bribes for Rhea, my 9-month-old daughter.

Just because my parents weren`t as thoughtful…I enquired about the ‘result` even before joining ibibo. I asked Santosh, the HR person, “So, what will be my Cost to the Company?”

Percy Spencer, the scientist who accidentally invented microwave ovens (read more about it here), didn`t know what a magnificent equipment he was leaving behind for generations to come. God rest his soul. If he is still alive (and obviously old), God…please grant him one extra day with his microwave oven.

Yesterday, we bought a microwave oven! Yes, sixty-two years after the technology was invented, sixty-one years after it was patented and sixty years after the first microwaves hit the market….we bought one for ourselves. I know…we haven`t really been keeping up with the Jones…but then, in India…isn`t it about keeping up with the Agarwals?

After consulting hundreds of friends – some of them special and close to the heart and some that come two-a-penny – we decided to go in for a Samsung CE1031LAT (Read its Review on MouthShut | To post a review on other consumer durables products, try out ibibo Opinions)

If you are planning to buy a microwave oven, I suggest you hold on till it is really necessary – like when your wife cites ‘not buying a microwave` as a reason and cancels the trip to her mother`s place.

I say hold on because…one of the friends I sought advice from said she used it only to cook Maggi. Another friend pointed out that after the first week of enthusiastic microwave cooking the sleek machine was used to store her niece`s and nephew`s crayons. We anyway went ahead and bought one for Rs 10,000 and upwards.

At 4 p.m. on Monday, after swiping my card, the consumer durable guy told us that the mean machine would be delivered within the next two hours. We called him at 6.01 p.m….and complained about his lack of punctuality. I don`t know what did the trick – we only called him 17 times in the next one hour – but by 8 p.m., the microwave was in our house.

As soon as the attendants left, I realized the microwave oven was way too big. In the shop it didn`t look so big. The same happened to me when I bought a Samsung 29 inch TV (and no…Samsung isn`t paying me to endorse them, yet) three years back. I thought the TV looked fine but when it came home, I couldn`t sleep with my legs straight till I changed my house the next week. If you like your girls small and cute…please don`t buy Samsung CE1031LAT.

Anyway, I opened up Samsung CE1031LAT`s User Manual. Due to smudging of the printing ink…it read ‘Loser Manual`. “How true,” I commented…while memorizing all the controls. I am now planning to apply for a helicopter pilot`s license – a helicopter`s controls can`t be more complex than a microwave oven`s.
By the time I had complete control over the mean machine that lie naked in front of me, it was 9 p.m.. Rekha noticed the passion in my eyes, and covered the microwave with a piece of white cloth. Here is the excuse she gave: “It is new…I don`t want a coat of dust on it.”

To cut the long story short, we had been living & breathing microwave oven the whole day and when we went to sleep that night, we nursed only one grudge: “Why does it have to be microwave-friendly vessels…and why not steel utensils, which we had in abundance?”

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With kids come teething issues. For the parents as well. And we aren`t referring to teenagers who get married and then run to the dentist citing pain due to wisdom tooth. Note for teenagers: Please don`t marry before the wisdom tooth grows to its fullest.

When Rhea was born, we had a teether (The dictionary defines a teether as An object or device, such as a teething ring, for a baby to bite on during teething.) ready for her. It was gifted to us by a couple who got 13 teethers as gifts from friends and relatives when their baby was born.

If you are about to have a baby, you might want to tie-up with a baby products retailer and make some money by diverting the surplus to his/her shop. We did the same and made approximately Rs 9785 – which has been credited into Rhea`s bank account as her first earning.

Anyway, for the first five months the teether was of no use. Rhea preferred her nimble fingers to the plastic teether. It took us five months before we could convince her that the teether was made from re-cycled plastic and hence wasn`t contributing to global warming. In September this year, she gave in and started using the teether. If you are a guy and haven`t had a baby yet (babies outside of marriages aren`t being considered while I say this), you probably don`t know what baby colors are.

For your convenience, they are being shown here:

As I was saying, in September Rhea started using her teether. Over time, the teether started donning many roles. Though it was supposed to be a device on which she could chew on during her teething …she also started using it as a toy. She would hold it in her right hand and hit it on the floor…the sound created was orgasmic. At least that`s what I gathered from Rhea`s expressions.

Again, over time…the teether became an integral part of her. She would want to hold it while awake, and when asleep. As a result, the teether was removed from between her lips and placed right next to her when she fell asleep. This was to ensure continuity …and the moment she got up, she would start playing with the teether again.

At least that`s how we ensured she remained happy, till one morning at 4.30 a.m….Rhea got up and decided to play with her teether. After repeated attempts to bang the teether on the cot (which had a cheap six inch mattress) and create some sound and failing…she looked around for a solid surface. What better solid surface on a bed that the father`s forehead? I wouldn`t really go into the details of what happened next…but yeah there was “sound” when she hit my forehead. Mind you, 9-month-olds can be really strong.

In my house, the teether is used for various other activities:

As a repository of gum when one need to stick envelopes. Just in case you didn`t know baby saliva has the inherent property of solidifying into a Fevicol-type adhesive when left unattended by an adult for a few days.

As a taste-maker during Sambar preparation. That is, if dropped inside by a kid being carried by the mother during cooking.

As an ant killer. Teethers can make excellent ant-killers. Surprisingly, when an adult tries it (esp a drunk, male adult) the ‘ant killed per number of attempts` ratio drops down drastically.

As excellent stumble-upons. Teethers if left unattended in unsuspecting areas of the house can act as excellent stumble-upons. They are so good that even non-drunk males can fall and hurt their noses.

Other Funny Reads

Getting my hair cut under a tree
Getting locked inside somebody`s washroom
A south Indian family in North Indian winter
Entering a new house

In the last few days Rekha and I have been on warpath. Domestic terrorism, if you want to call it so.

Being the mother that she is, she has been trying to get my daughter to say ‘amma.` In case you didn`t know…‘amma` in Tamil means mother. That wouldn`t be much of an issue if I wasn`t trying to get my daughter to say ‘appa` at the earliest. By the way, ‘appa` means father in Tamil.

Our daughter has divided the house into two unequal halves. What word would she utter first – amma or appa?

I checked with some of my friends to see if I stood a chance. Apparently, all kids end up calling for their mothers first. It seems, I was one in a billion…in the sense…nobody in the whole world would have ‘babe` has his/her first word. Apparently, that`s what I called the maid who would bathe me everyday for a paltry fee of Rs 70/- a month in 1975.

Fathers don`t get a chance to get close to their babies in the first six months. When they aren`t sleeping, they are clinging on to breasts. I am referring to the babies. And by the time they get out of breast feeding…the first word has already been spoken.

While on the subject, let us also find out why this famed Bollywood dialogue is not be seen in today`s movies: “Kutte…kameene…maa ka doodh piya hai to samne aa…” Because the dialogue writers can`t get beyond lines like: “Kutte…kameene…Nestle ka doodh piya hai to samne aa…” or “Kutte…kameene…Milkmaid ka doodh piya hai to samne aa…”

Anyway getting back to the bigger issue on hand…the war has gone out of hand.

According to the latest news I picked up from the security guard in my apartment, my daughter has managed to say “Ammmm….”. The guard says, on sunny days (it is winter here in Gurgaon) my wife brings the daughter to the small park and talks to her.

I confronted my wife. I asked: “Why didn`t you tell me that she was now saying ‘Ammmm….`.”

“Why should I tell you?” asked my stoic wife.

I immediately snatched the baby from Rekha`s hands and started teaching her “Appa”. We were progressing well for sometime – she was saying ‘Ap…..`…but after a while she lost focus and started repeating a word which if spelt will look like this: “eeeeeeeeeeeee”. I know it doesn`t make sense …but as long as it doesn`t mean ‘mother` I am fine.

The fight is still on…

Note: I need the support of all the fathers out there. Come on…give me tips to win this war of the sexes!

ibibo has started advertising on television! Yes…the rumors you had come across were true. The first commercial hit the television sets on Monday (December 17)…and the response so far has been good.

The team behind ibibo’s first commercial is the one that came up with the famous (and funny) Naukri commercial. Remember the ‘H-A-R-I S-A-D-U commercial?

Just in case, you haven’t yet spotted the ibibo commercial on TV…

Having problems viewing the commercial on this page? Why don’t you click here: http://www.ibibo.com/commercial/

Some photographers have a good time at work. Ask Shashwat Nagpal, a photographer first and then a colleague of mine (View his awesome pics here).

Not just Shashwat, other photographers also have a great time. The other day I was waiting for my passport photograph to be taken at a studio, and I heard a boy and a girl speak inside the darkroom. This is how the conversation went:

“We start out negative,” the boy said.

“That’s exactly what I do… at first it is always negative,” the girl responded. I got curious and inched closer to the door so that I could hear them nice and clear.

“Shall I enlarge now?” It was the boy. My heart skipped a beat. Being a gentleman, I couldn’t keep my ears to the door any longer and went back to the mirror and started putting on the make up.

After ten minutes and boy (who eventually turned out to be the guy who took my snap) and girl emerged out of the dark room. They were sweating. To ease into the scenario, I said: “You are sweating.”

The boy just smiled, and said: “Yes, darkrooms are not supposed to have fans.”

I couldn’t get a good glimpse of the girl…but I am sure she was smiling too.

Maybe my deep respect for photographers came from the fact that for long I thought God was a photographer. Whenever there was lightening, I would rush to the balcony, look towards the sky and smile.

While I have immense respect for photographers, I also have empathy for them. They work day and night, and yet are never left with any photographs of themselves. They shoot at weddings…yet not many girls are ready to marry them. Don’t believe me…take stock of the married photographers you know.

There was a time in my life – when I was young – when I wanted to become a photographer. I even got a chance to make it to the National Geographic magazine…but the ghost that I was supposed to take a picture of and send…backed off at the last minute because my flash wasn`t working. One could say that the spirit was willing but the flash was weak!

Even after reading all this, if you think photographers don`t have fun at work…take a look at pictures of Umed Singh Bisht (my ibibo Sawaal team mate ) presented below. And if you think the photographer didn`t have fun clicking these pictures…you must be over-exposed:

The pictures shown above are also an attempt at showcasing Umed`s talent at displaying true-blue expressions. He is open to movies and advertisements, so if you have an offer… please get in touch with him at: umed.bisht@gmail.com.

Umed, if you are reading this remember that I deserve a 10% Agent`s commission.

Ibibo Web Pvt Limited has another Indian first to its credit. Ibibo becomes the first Indian internet company to integrate applications (a la Facebook, if you know what I mean) into its Social Networking platform. And guess who helped in building it? Yours sincerely!

It was quite a learning experience, because there never can be a ‘right way` when you one is dealing with Lakhs of users, who log into the social networking platform daily.

The Chak De Girls application on ibibo is pretty simple. If you have an ibibo account, you can install this application and interact with the four girls, who enthralled both men and women with their attitude in the SRK movie Chak De. To install Chak De Girls Application on ibibo, Click Here.

If you are a girl studying in a college, school…you stand to gain more than the others. Spread the word about this ibibo application, get more people from your institute to sign up at ibibo and make Sagarika, Vidya, Shilpa & Chitrashi their friends. If your institute has the maximum number of registrations on ibibo…you and your friends will host the four Chak De girls at your institute for one whole day. Can you beat that?

So, what are you waiting for? Sign Up Now!