Male sex organs (U Certificate)

Male sexual organs. Yes, that’s what this post is about. You are probably thinking why you should be reading this…well here are my reasons.

You are probably a male but don’t know that and need to be told. Or you are a lady and need to be told about male sexual organs, anyway.

Just in case you didn’t know where to find male sexual organs

Before I sat down to write this article, I did my bit of research. I rented 13 porn movies – two of them had interesting names: ‘The Extra Testicle,’ a spoof on Steven Spielberg’s science fiction movie ET , and ‘Inspect Her Gadget,’ a spoof on the Hollywood movie Inspector Gadget.

I didn’t really learn much about the male sex organs from the porn movies, because most of the time the focus was on the female sex organ. When I checked with my friend he said that it could be because the target market for porn movies was a male anywhere from 13 years to 90 years old and with nothing to do. Understandable.

For those of you that don’t know the male sex organ consists of Ureter, Seminal Vesicles, Vas Deferens, Prostate Gland, Urethra, Testes & Scrotum…we expand them further:

• Ureter – The narrator (I noticed it rhymes) of the announcement of a full bladder
• Seminal Vesicles – It is the point of origin of all seamen. Wonder why they didn’t name it ‘Ship’ or ‘Submarine’.
• Vas Deferens – Definitely not a French restaurant. Instead, more of a captain of the ship because its job is to push the seamen forward.
• Prostate Gland – Since women don’t even have this gland, do you really care what it actually is? (Seriously, only men have prostrate glands)
• Urethra – More like an asshole without the ass. More here
• Testes – The real test of manhood, not because it is the sperm factory but because a hit here means 18 stars (that’s how many I saw)
• Scrotum – Unfortunately not a recycle bag.

Dear women, what you don’t know and we don’t show on our faces is that we men live in fear each day. Each visit outside the house involves saving our sexual organs from leather cricket balls, table corners, lamp post, small children, swinging hands, lady’s purses, lady’s bent knee etc.

We men really don’t make a big deal about this, but it really pains. Forget childbirth pains….have you ever seen ex-India captain Sourav Ganguly writhe in pain after being hit by a cricket ball? Now, don’t you ask me where….for I won’t say “Eden Gardens”…instead say, “on the male sexual organ”.

Other Funny Reads

# Baby sitting isn’t a nice profession
# Battle of the sexes: Father vs mother
# Flirting with an air hostess with a baby in hand
# How Indian wives take their husbands for a ride
# Television – my new friend, philosopher & guide
# Shopping for my baby daughter

Related posts You might want to read:

1. Male-Bonding
   Requested By Kumar @ 02:51 pm | Nov 29th 2004 I need your blogs on Male-Male relationship and feelings. Thanx. Sorry guys. Though I have nothing against gays, this post is not about them. This is about ‘male bonding’, which has been dying a natural death. And this post meanders like Narmada…that is…its on no [...]...
2. All Males Unite!
   I have a feeling that very soon it would not be cool to have a male child. I don’t know you if you agree with me, but it is a fact that today 50% of the households start expecting a boy child as soon as somebody in the family gets pregnant. The rest are OK, [...]...
3. Making Love vs Having Sex
   I remember one of the fairer sexes recently commenting on this blog, that blog posts on ‘sex’ are increasing with my age. Let me point her to a category called SEX on Ouchmytoe (man…that sounded like sex on toast!), where the most recent post is ‘Jammy’s Sex life exposed!,’ written as early as 18th Feb, [...]...
4. Natural child birth is painful for the husband too
   This post is dedicated to all fathers, whose contribution to child birth has gone unnoticed and unrewarded. If you have been reading Ouchmytoe for a while now, you probably remember than on 29th March 2007 our daughter Rhea was born in a hospital in Kannur, Kerala. If you remember reading this post on Rhea’s birth [...]...
5. Email exchanges between five consenting, cheating adults
   This blog post has been inspired by a book called ‘E’ written by Matt Beaumont, a talented writer. The book is set in an Ad Agency called Miller Shanks in London and is written as a series of mails. Just mails exchanged between the colleagues and nothing else. So, here is my attempt in copying [...]...
6. Baby sitting isn’t a nice profession
   If you have been planning to quit your high-paying job and take up baby sitting as a profession, I suggest you think again. Baby sitting isn’t that easy. Most of us have grown up watching beautiful and sexy baby sitters. If you haven’t seen a beautiful baby sitter….you probably have not watched much of Hollywood [...]...
7. How babies come into this World…
   Rhea is now 20 months old and it has been a long journey. If I were to draw a parallel, it has been like crossing the Niagara Falls on a tight walk rope. That’s why in the last 20 months, while playing with Rhea I have always sat down on the floor. I still remember [...]...
8. The concept of Birth
   Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980) My birthday made me wonder…. Giving birth is quite a phenomenon. We men are never told about it, and are left to fend for ourselves. The smart [...]...
9. Story of how I ended up starting a porn website
   I was reading a news item in The Telegraph yesterday, and apparently there are at least 300 positions in sex. Oops, that didn’t come out too as intended. Let me retry. I was reading a news item in The Telegraph yesterday, and apparently there are at least 300 positions available in the British sex industry. [...]...
10. Appreciating people who are different
    June 30 saw Delhi’s first Gay Parade. Some 100 policemen and 500 gay activists congregated at one place (and yes the Delhi policemen were there only for protection) to churn the system. This blog post is a tribute to the gay guts. I also wanted to be there…but couldn’t find my mask. When I decided [...]...

Posted by Jamshed V Rajan on Apr 22 2008. Filed under Men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry