Viagra to be available free of cost

Viagra manufacturer Pfizer is considering distributing the sexual-energizer free of cost through the length and breath of India. The idea that started out as a dining- table talk has also found a few supporters in the Indian Government, led by PM Manmohan Singh.

The novel yet radical move has been prompted by Rajneesh`s belief that when too much of anything is thrust on people, they start hating it.

Dr Anbamani, son of PMK leader Ramdoss and the Minister Health in the Union Cabinet said: “We started out with the `We two, ours three` slogan and we are now stuck with `We two, ours one`. How far can this go on?”

A Ministry source close to the Minister on conditions of anonymity said, “The Minister suggested the slogan `We are ourselves kids, why do we need kids,` but it was shot down because it could have hurt the sensibilities of Rahul and Priyanka Gandhi.

In its desperate attempt to cut down the population to size, the Govt. has all but agreed to Pfizer`s request that Viagra be made freely available. The intelligentsia is divided on the issue.

The company has already put the distribution system in place. The idea is to leave Viagra capsules at telephone booths, reservation counters of Railway stations and bus stands, cinema halls, planetariums, receptions of star hotels, corporate offices, crocodile parks, pubs, not to mention all the other places where IT professionals hang out.

What does Pfizer gain by it? It gets the men addicted to an adventurous life, even as it kills local competition like Chittu Kuruvi legium, drum-stick sambar and pepper and onion vada. Over a period of time, Pfizer could turn the tables and say it is going to charge for the pill.

As of today, the only worthy competition Pfizer has, is a particular species of jelly fish which when stings the man, gives him a prolonged erection. It is called the Irukandji Syndrome. The side effects of the sting, besides the erection are – severe pain, a potentially fatal rise in blood pressure and severe cerebral hemorrhaging.

Gagan Bandhopadhyay, a research scholar at Jawahar Lal Institute of Medical Sciences (JIPMER), says the jellyfishes can in no way compete with Pfizer. This blog seconds you, Mr Gagan.

If the ruling Congress and its allies can pass the bill through the horny ministers sitting in the parliament, it sure has a winner on its hands. Just that, the divorce rates could increase and lots of Self Help Groups might spring up.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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