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How to manipulate a man
If you are a married lady this article will be of great use to you. If you are a girl and grappling with a boy friend, this article can help you to handle your boy friend better. And if you are a guy, be warned…the lady of your life might be reading Ouchmytoe.com.
In this article we will look at how a woman can dominate her man and enslave him. If you are a woman and don`t have the time to read the whole article, here is the gist:
Give your man enough sex and he will be your slave
If you are still reading, it means you are a woman and have time on your hands…so let us continue.
Since I have been a man for the last three decades, let me assure you that I never looked at a girl and said: “Wow, just look at her…she is intelligent!”
Instead, this is how an average discussion goes. The older the men (and longer since their last marriage) the nastier the discussion:
Gentleman A: “Your 6 O`Clock.”
Gentleman B: “Who? Pretty girl?”
Gentleman A: “Yeah man. In a mini.”
Gentleman B: “Worth it? I am already looking at one sitting your at your 5 O` Clock.
Gentleman A: “Yeah worth it. 36-26-36….I could be off by a few inches on the hips because she is sitting.”
Gentleman B: “OK, I am going to turn…you turn away.”
After letting a few drops of his saliva drop on his shirt
Gentleman A: “I owe you a beer. She has &^&^ *&* *(*(^&%^ ^&^% $%$% $%$% #$#$#$ @#@.”
Gentleman B: “Yep. The guy sitting with her must be a lucky ^&^&^%^%$.”
Like I was saying, men never look at a girl and said “Wow, she is intelligent. I want to go out with her!”…for men never go after intelligence.
Most men look at a woman like a sex object. They might not agree, but most men will have sex with any woman if only they had a place. A place with a good mattress, pillows & air conditioning is even better, because he can sleep off after sex. Don`t trust me? Conduct your own Star Plus Sach Ka Samna at home and find out.
Since I am the writer of this article I can try and salvage my chances for a night out. For me women aren`t sex objects…they are simply human beings that object to sex. Now that`s fair, don`t you think?
Once you have given your man all the sex that he needed, ask him for what you wanted. A man can`t read a woman`s mind and don`t expect him to try…for that`s very difficult. Men struggle even after three years of courtship and four years of marriage. If you don`t ask…you won`t get anything and all your efforts go wasted.
While asking him for what you wanted, please ensure these:
Step 1: Check if your man hasn`t slept off after the sex
Step 2: Give him one stress ball in each hand and ask him relax (this will also keep him from sleeping too)
Step 3: If he still feels sleepy, grab both the balls in your hands and leave him crying. I meant the stress balls.
Step 4: Time yourself and start speaking. A lecture of anything less than 3 hours will not yield results…men start listening only after the first 150 minutes because then they know if its that long it is a cause for concern
Step 5: When you ask him to do anything, don`t be polite. Order. Some strong, powerful men love to be ordered to
Step 6: If you were smarter, you would have skipped Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4 and Step 5 and as he put his cold hands inside your T-shirt, ask him: “Promise me we are going to buy a house soon…and we will be looking at all the brochures of the apartment complexes that I have short listed.”
If you are a man and are still reading this…here is a tip for you. A man gets a high when he feels a woman….but a woman gets a high when somebody makes her feel that she is pretty, sexy and irresistible. If you know she is cutting down, add a line about how she has lost so much weight and looks ravishing now.
If you still have questions on how to manipulate a man, try target practice at jv.rajan@gmail.com
P.S.: When you mail me for target practice, you can also congratulate me….for yours sincerely has been promoted to Associate Vice President.
Other Sexy Reads
# Making Love vs Having Sex
# Jammy`s sex life exposed!
# Making full use of the bath tub
Posted by 19 Responses to How to manipulate a man
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prasoon
July 26, 2009 at 10:07 am
This had me in splits – the whole thing i.e.
Amazing
Spike
July 26, 2009 at 6:57 pm
this was funny and TRUE
Elvia
July 26, 2009 at 9:27 pm
U r desperate for something to write
Anyways kudos on the promotion.
Ekta Khetan
July 26, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Congratulations! Associated vice president for???…Ahem pillow talks!!!
Ekta Khetan
July 26, 2009 at 11:02 pm
But you are right…men forget that girls have a heart too and it is not just- Huh heart!!!
Wow this year’s oscar goes to me, me and truly me!
jammy
July 27, 2009 at 9:06 am
@ Elvia – You are so right…was stuck for topics and thats when picked up this easy one.
@ Ekta Associate and NOT Associated. AVP for Product Management…not big shakes any way. And no way, men do understand that girls have a heart…and thats why try to make her happy by lying about her looks, body (slim) etc. It continues to be huh heart, though
Shrinidhi Hande
July 27, 2009 at 11:08 am
No comment on the post. Congratulations on the promotion.
Aarti
July 27, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Ahem ahem….!!!
Congrats on the promotion
Ammu
July 27, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I can’t stop laughing at this one
Vardhan
July 29, 2009 at 8:32 am
It’s a really interesting article Jammy. Your posts are very funny and are stress relieving. One does not need to use balls to relieve the stress. I meant stress balls
Awesome post. Keep blogging.
Vardhan
July 29, 2009 at 8:34 am
Awesome Post Jammy. Your blog is my favorite stress buster, balls are no longer required to beat the stress. I meant stress balls
Keep blogging.
selvi
August 1, 2009 at 1:16 pm
hey i love your posts rock on
Chasing Dogs
August 4, 2009 at 9:23 am
I think this is my second comment here… I read the post.. It was in line with what u write. Nice work. But, i was always a fan of ur blog templates. It was nicer before. Thought i would let you know.
Srikanth
August 6, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Awesome post.. [:)]..
Pingback: How to manipulate a woman | Ouch My Toe!
nlhar
August 31, 2009 at 9:47 pm
dude great again…keep going…i am addicted to your posts…Rock on
mahesh
November 6, 2010 at 6:15 pm
you started with how to manipulate a man and you lost the entire topic,,,,the article went hey wire,,,,
abhishek
April 17, 2011 at 2:47 am
nic…….!!
Dhananjaya P
July 31, 2012 at 11:32 am
Congrats on your promotion