When paranoia sets in…

I wonder what happens when paranoia sets in. Now, don`t you stare at me…I am not that paranoid yet. But think of all those policemen who guard the streets of Delhi. I bet they are scared.

OK…this article is a little late to be directed at the Delhi blasts …but better late than never. Remember…a bomb late in going up…doesn`t mean it will cause no harm!

A friend called Rahul Razdan, currently cocooned in the comfort of Delhi, has over the last few days over-heard these conversations involving Delhiites.

Conversation 1

Cop 1: I heard you are being promoted?
Cop 2: Yes. For nabbing Pramod Yadav of Gorakhpur, UP.
Cop 1: Cool. So when is the blast?
Cop 2: Who am I to decide all that?
Cop 1: OK…so you need to get your wife`s permission?
Cop 2: My wife? She is no terrorist…if you want to know when the next blast is…check with a terrorist.

Conversation 2

[when a pretty babe passes by]

Cop 1: Saw her?
Cop 2: Yes. Damn pretty huh?
Cop 1: Yeah…she is a bomb.
Cop 2: Are you serious? How do you know?
Cop 1: Can`t you see…she is a 36-24-26 figure….
Cop 2: Yeah. Maybe she is not wearing the belt now.
Cop 1: [sounding confused] Which belt?
Cop 2: The explosives belt yaar….

Conversation 3

[at a Moods Condoms stall during an exhibition]

Cop: Are you sure it works?
Salesman: Yes sir. It does.
Cop: And what gives you the confidence?
Salesman: Sirjee…you.
Cop: Why me?
Salesman: Sirjee…you and I are exactly opposites. Do you agree?
Cop: How?
Salesman: When you fail…there is a bomb blast…and when we fail…there is a condom blast. So…when you fail population decreases…and when we fail it increases.
Cop: Ok…and how are you so sure that it works?
Salesman: Coz, you always fail.

This is in no way aimed at upsetting brothers and sisters (Gosh…I hate calling them sisters… esp the tall, fair Delhi girls) from Delhi. We have our share of bombs too…just that most of those scheduled to go off on Tuesday couldn`t because of rain. Don`t believe me? Even the India vs South Africa ODI got cancelled….serious….

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