This post is dedicated to an ardent reader Himani Sahni of Gurgaon who will be celebrating her birthday on January 31 – today. She mailed me yesterday and requested a funny post, so that she can wake up to something funny on her birthday. I am glad Himani happened to be a lady – I would have found little motivation in writing for a man!
I am writing this open letter for you because you have flattered me. Next time, I might not fall for your flattery. Suggest you try bribery instead.
Today, you are older by a year. Rekha and I wish you the very best. But if I were you, I would stick to my mother`s advice and not mail (or talk to) strangers. Here is a short story to make you understand the extent to which I would go to obey such orders from my mother. I think I was 14 years old. I was going back from school and badly needed to smoke. I walked up to a stranger, put my hands in his pocket, took out a match-box and lit my cigarette.
The stranger wasn`t too happy, “You could have asked me!” he said.
“I know. But my mother has asked me not to speak to strangers,” I said.
Before mailing strangers with such request, you should watch where you are going. What if I were a serial killer? I know…I don`t look like one but check with Rekha, my wife, and she would agree that I am a serial killer. Even last night when she was watching Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, I snatched the remote and shut the TV off.
I would suggest you straighten up and watch your step now. Watching your step becomes a big problem when you are old. You are old and wiser…but can`t stake a step out because you are too old!
Did you laugh at the above joke of mine? Gone are the days when he (or she) who laughed last was the winner. Today`s competitive World calls the ‘last laugher` the slowest. Don`t wait for the proverbial last laugh. Use Revenge wherever you can. It is a good perfume used in the Superman series.
This doesn`t mean you watch the Superman series. Men wearing their underwear on their trousers can`t be trusted. Even if you do watch the Superman series, don`t be the kind who search the whole house for the TV remote instead of just walking up to the box and switching it on.
Am glad to know that you are from Gurgaon – the happening place in India. I have known the city since it was so small that its maps used to be in actual size.
My last advice for you – life is great. Don`t worry about avoiding temptations. As you grow older they will avoid you!