An Ode to Facebook

I started writing poems when I was in class eight and have some 500+ of them stored in decaying notebooks, in my attic. Unfortunately, back then one wrote in notebooks and didn’t digitalize. I will share them shortly.

Last night, I dreamt of my XII English teacher Ms Rajalakshmi. When she was getting married, she had inspired me to write this poem titled ‘No Longer Innocent’.

Irony is, she loved the poem so much that she asked me to read it in front of the class. Words aren’t enough to express how difficult it was to fight back tears that day…while I read the poem to the class.

And in case you are wondering…yes, in later years this poem was used to lure that odd pretty girl to the lair.

Anyway, coming back to the dream…it made me realize that I hadn’t written in 6 years (coincidence that I have also been married for six years?!). Here is a feeble attempt. It is an attempt after a long time, so be generous in your feedback. Please.

An Ode to Facebook

It all started with an invite.
A crime in broad daylight,
For it was sent to friends infinite.
Yet, meant to excite.

To see my friend’s photos,
My secrets I did disclose.
After creating an account,
Facebook, I did mount.

They bribed me with a Profile
Like a Kingfisher seat in the aisle.

Soon enough, I got poked,
And my emotions got evoked.
I proposed, but she got provoked,
For no fault of mine, I got smoked!

Few strangers sent friend requests,
I ignored the chests & accepted breasts,

Damn! This Facebook suggests,
Strangers I wouldn’t invite as guests.

I got a dashboard too,
And the voyeurist in me grew.
Now I could see girlfriends, wives,
Drives, contrives, thrives and archives.

Now I could see links, pages, ages,
And onstage, offstage rampages.

Status updates, Comments & Likes,
All controlled my mood spikes.

With Newsfeeds served to me hot,
I had hit a jackpot.

Facebook as an idea, I had bought,
Rest of my life, I forgot.

– Jammy

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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