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The baby-mother bonding

Mothers can start building a bond with their kids when they are still in their womb. Unfortunately, fathers can`t.

The natural that she is, my wife has developed an intense bond with the yet-to-be-born. They are so close that she has already lent the baby Rs 1000. On its part, the baby has promised to return the money in six months time.

When mothers talk, babies inside the womb listen and that is the main reason for the bonding. Not to be left behind, my wife has started talking to our baby.

Here is one conversation between Rekha and the baby, which I overheard.

“Hello Baby! How are you doing?” It was Rekha speaking in a hushed tone.

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“Oh ok. So, did you get enough calcium from the milk I just drank?”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“That`s good. I hate milk. Never drank it in the last 25 years…but am drinking it now only because I love you.”

“Zzzzzzz.”

“I am glad you appreciate it. And what about iron?”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“I know…it makes me nauseated too. My tongue feels rusted because of the iron syrup. But the doctor says it is good for blood generation.”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“You must be tired now. Why don`t you go to sleep?”

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“That`s better.”

Believe it or not, now-a-days when I see Rekha talking, I slowly creep towards her right and see if she is wearing her wireless earpiece. If she isn`t, one has to assume that she is talking to the baby.

Sometimes, I am jealous of my wife coz she just might become our kid`s favorite parent.

According to reliable sources, at this stage all voices except the mothers are labeled as “Others” by the baby. When I clarified the same with our gynecologist, she said there was a work around.

“You can speak to the baby directly. Just get close to the mother`s stomach and start talking,” the experienced gynecologist said.

“Which language do I speak in?” It was a genuine doubt, but I have a feeling the gynecologist thought I was making fun of her.

“Any language. The baby just needs to know how his/her father sounds.”

I knew the gynecologist was on our side, but I still had my doubts. I asked: “How would the baby know that the voice that speaks from close to the stomach is the father?”

The gynecologist turned towards my wife. I turned towards my wife. My wife turned towards me. My wife turned towards the gynecologist. The gynecologist turned towards me. Nothing was said, yet so much was conveyed in the expressions.

The gynecologist signed deeply and said: “The baby knows that nobody…and…nobody can come close to his mother`s stomach. The baby knows that only his/her mother`s husband can come close to her stomach and thus starts labeling that his/her father`s.”

“Doctor, how would the baby know sociology – I mean how would he/she know that only husbands can come near their wives stomachs?”

The gynecologist didn`t reply, but she did charge us Rs 500 as the consultation fee – Rs 300 more than the usual. Wonder if she wants us to look for another gynecologist.

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