When the Rajasthan Govt gifted me a camel

I realized just now that I have been blogging for the last five years. Damn! This itself deserves a blog post. Another humor blogging biggie Great Bong celebrated his fourth year in blogging recently.

Unfortunately, I am still suffering from the writer`s block that`s been plaguing me for the last one month. So here goes another feeble attempt.

This post is about the time when the Rajasthan government out of love & respect for me…gifted me a camel.

The story begins in 1990 when I first visited Jaipur as part of Tamil Nadu`s kabbadi team. I was studying 10th grade in Kendriya Vidhyalaya, Madurai. Being the youngest in the team I was automatically a substitute and thus didn`t have to play many (or should it be ‘any`?) of the matches. With a lot of free time on hand, I started roaming the streets of Jaipur.

Remember the year was 1990 – the year of Mandal Commission, where heavy reservations were being recommended for OBCs (today I know that it is Other Backward Castes & NOT Onions, Baigans & Cabbages as I had thought back then) by then Prime Minister VP Singh. Even as I roamed the streets, I witnessed riots all around me.

Generally, Hindus and Muslims chase and kill each other in riots… and one is used to it…but this was a different riot…both the prey and the predator were Hindus.

I was rioting on behalf of the OBCs. Remember, back then I thought it was Onions, Baigans & Cabbages? Then, I believed that vegetarianism was the way forward. My belief had only grown stronger after I noticed that non-vegetarians farted too much – proof that our digestive system was built for greens & not the heavy proteins one had to digest after eating meat.

Being a kabbadi player, I was the fastest of the rioters and when we were chased by a crowd of non-OBCs…I bolted (NOT Usain Bolt) towards Jantar Mantar. Jantar Mantar is a wrong place to hide from sword wielding men …..it is only getting out that`s difficult….getting in isn`t. The non-OBCs entered Jantar Mantar and caught me….while I was still struggling to find a way out and avoid capture.

Did I tell you, I was born with a mole on my back…which makes me lucky? At the time of my capture….Srimathi Vasundhara Raje, who is now the Chief Minister of Rajasthan, was present inside Jantar Mantar. Back then she was only 35+ and pretty…and more adventurous. She walked up to the leader of the non-OBCs gang and said that we were a couple. She said that we were Mr & Mrs Iyer. Now you know who inspired the movie Mr & Mrs Iyer.

Royalty won, and I was released. Vasundhara Raje then took me to her mother Rajmata Vijayaraje Scindia…and we discussed politics till late in the evening.

I convinced them that there should be reservations for the OBCs…because that`s what God wanted us to do. Vasundhara`s mother did raise an eye brow when I mentioned Onions, Baigans & Cabbages….my guess is she didn`t care much about the baigans. I didn`t pursue the matter much…because even reservation for OCs was fine with me. In the end, they seemed pretty convinced.

Later we discussed about Uniform Civil Code, where I argued that not all school students come from the same financial background and hence…uniforms for school students should remain and the debate on Uniform Civil Code should end. Here again, they seemed to be convinced.

I parted ways after being a State Guest for a few days. While leaving Jaipur I had no idea that Vasundhara`s mother was impressed with me. When she passed away in 2001, 11 years after we met, she willed that Rajasthan gift me the best Camel the World had.

In early 2006, Vasundhara Raje…who by then had become the Chief Minister of Rajasthan, decided to fulfill her mother`s wishes and decided to import a camel from Saudi Arabia.

By late 2006, the best of breed camel was identified and shipped to India. The Rajasthan Government spent the next two years asking me to come and pick up my gift. Not knowing that it was a camel….I went to Jaipur last week….we drove down….but had to come back on camel back.

Don`t believe me? Check out the fax sent by Indian Embassy in Riyadh…and also my photograph on the camel.

Note: If Jaipur isn`t a haven for gays, why is it named the Pink City?

What was Mandal Commission all about?
According to Mandal, 27 percent of all posts in the government must be reserved for members from the “Other Backward Classes” (OBCs), and that those OBC candidates recruited on the basis of merit should not be adjusted against the OBC quota of 27 percent, that they should not be adjusted against the 22.5 percent reserved for Scheduled Castes and Tribes, that the quota was to be applied not only at the time of recruitment but also “to promotion at all levels”, and that if a sufficient number of those sub-standard OBCs were not available to fill the posts during a particular year, the unfilled margin should be carried forward for three years. More Here

Other Funny Reads

# When I became a cockroach
# Flashback: My days in London
# My wife`s oral contraceptive is “No sex today!”
# I despise the ladies…

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

13 replies on “When the Rajasthan Govt gifted me a camel”

Back with a bang, my friend?
I wonder why I did not guess that the inspiration for Mr&Mrs Iyer was you even though Rahul Bose looked almost as good as you?!
I appreciate that atleast one more parent apart from me understands the importance of Uniform Civil Code 🙂
Keep going.

Hey Salil…dont know if its a back with a bang or blasted to smithereens in a bang….but yeah it has been a feeble attempt. And thanks for the Rahul Bose comparision….I hope you werent comparing our attitude coz i heard he has a Dog’s attitude

Er..in 1991 werent you six..teen yrs old!!
Which is why i always suspected the crap movies like Mister and Missus Iyer 🙂

maxdavinci…thanks mate. knowing only a little bit of photoshop helped…if I knew any better the letter would have come out as NEW and the plot would have failed.
I too hope we don’t see that writers block thing again!

Shalini Katoch….thanks a ton. the fact that you bothered to type in when you could have told it in person goes to show that you really liked it. 🙂

Some day I will tell you the story about how the Chinese Govt felicitated me…someday when you have time

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