Celebrating birthday economy class

I know it is a little late but I think you should know how Rekha and I celebrated my birthday this year.

Last year, on Rekha`s birthday we went to Fisherman`s Cove. I wouldn`t have known about this place had it not been for a close friend of mine called Muthu, who took his girlfriend there after mortgaging his house.

Luckily we didn`t have to mortgage our house because we don`t own any. But we did sell a part of Rekha`s dowry and decided to go for a dinner at Fisherman`s Cove. Apparently, Kerala Gold designs fetch a good price in Tamil Nadu.

Anyway, we managed to visit Fisherman`s Cove on Rekha`s birthday, order a mineral water bottle and have it to our fill before leaving the place. Rekha really liked it.

This time around, the Gold prices had come down and we were wondering how we could liquefy some immovable assets (agreed Gold is movable) and visit Fisherman`s Cove again. We explored resigning and claiming the Provident Fund (PF), going in for a Golden Handshake, selling a kidney and many such alternatives.

“Rekha, nothing is working out. Where do we go?”

“Let us go to someplace cheap and economical.”

“Why cheap? We always go to high-brow places when it is your birthday!”

“I know, but this time Gold prices are down…so it is better to stick to Wang`s Kitchen.”

“That`s Chinese and you know I have hated the Chinese ever since they attacked India in 1962.” Being quite a patriotic fellow, I was getting furious.

She smiled at me. This is the smile that meant ‘I know I will win this conversation`. She said: “If we go to a regular Indian joint, we will use our hands to eat and finish it soon. But in Wang`s Kitchen, we will get chop sticks and thus we can sit there for hours eating the rice one by one.”

I didn`t agree with her. I hated eating rice one by one. As a kid I remember doing that …until the day my classmates started calling me ‘Chicken`. Apparently chicken eat their food one grain at a time. My classmates even ridiculed me that the only difference between me and the real chicken was that the real chicken got to hang around with the chicks.

Anyway, getting back to the real issue here…I failed to win the argument and we landed up in Wang`s Kitchen at 8 p.m. on 26th April.

When nobody came to our table till 8.30 p.m., we raised our hand, whistled, shouted, and banged the plates on the table to attract attention. Finally a waiter walked across to our table and said, “Sir, we are having a problem with our gas cylinders.”

“Why what happened?”

“We have run out of gas, and we have got in touch with the gas agency.” He was quick on the draw.

I looked around…many people were chatting up heartily. “How long will it take?”

“Don`t know sir. You know how long these gas agencies take to deliver. But till we get the gas cylinder, we will keep you occupied with a special Chinese salad.”

Rekha and I nodded. In a few minutes we got the salad. It was really Chinese. I was surprised. These guys really live up to their promise.

After waiting till 10.15 p.m. for the gas cylinder to arrive…we decided to beat a retreat. In half an hour`s time, we had finished our Meal for Two offer at the nearby Pizza Hut.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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