Diamonds mean a lot to women

Diamonds are real…problems. At least for the men. For the women it is a boon. I mean, what else can it be, when it helps you further your standing among the other women, yet you do not have to pay for it.

I know how it feels because I have once bought a diamond for my girl. Despite the fact that it was a dream, the feeling was nightmarish. Now, I cannot even dream of giving my girl a diamond.

For one, it gives her a false feeling that I care for her. And as if that was not enough she miscalculates the depth of my wallet and keeps mining for other things reserved for the elite of the society.

As of now we are not married, so I guess I have some elbow room to maneuver, but once we get married, I think I might be in trouble. But I might be forced to buy a diamond on the day we get married, or if finances permit, maybe on our first anniversary. Just wanted you to know that she is watching me as we type this.

When I decide to buy the piece of crap that my girl wants to hang around her neck, I will have to go alone. Never has woman walked into a De Beers showroom with a man, and come out happy. She might pretend to be happy, but deep down inside she is upset because she wanted the bigger diamond – the one, her man could not afford.

I had once been to De Beers, to buy a diamond for my ex-boss’ mistress. Here are two things I did not understand:

1) How can De Beers afford to sell a diamond listed 25K for just 15K, and yet make profits? Well, that`s the amount of discount they offered me.
2) When you end up bargaining, they say “fixed price”. But once you show you are determined, they say, “Sir, we do not make much profit on such small diamonds.”

Yeah right! Then how come you wear Armani suit, a Tissot watch and drive a Mercedes?

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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