Don’t watch Lion King if you are married

I did and I am repenting. I watched the movie a few days back and thought the concept of Hakuna Matata was cool and worth implementing. But it was not to be.

Hakuna Matata means “Be Happy, no worries.” Something the groovy Bob Marley has already told us in his still groovier song “Don`t Worry, Be Happy.”

If I had embraced the concept when I was a bachelor, it would have meant shopping with my credit card at 50% off committee halls, having lunch at spicy, oily restaurants and coming home for a beer in the evening. Which would be followed by a hilarious English movie, before I pissed off my beer, had some noodles for dinner and went to sleep.

Now, things have really changed. It did not take Rekha (my wife of 39 days) a long time to realize that I had embraced hakuna matata – some kind of new-world Buddhism that the Disney World has been preaching.

Now, I was happy and gay. Less of gay, to tell you the truth. I was plying my own trains between the kitchen and the drawing room and was my own orchestra while bathing. So much so, at b`fast, I was treating myself to five-star service.

Rekha knew her moment had come and placed these requirements –

1) I make tea on all week-ends
2) I take out the garbage every night
3) I take up the responsibility for the plumber, electrician and any such contact with the outside alien world.
4) Wash the clothes every alternate day (Sorry…am not telling whose clothes…)
5) Take her out to buy vegetables every Sunday morning.
6) Get chicken every holiday (except the World Vegetarian Day, which falls on Jan 19 – the day World`s biggest slaughterhouse Iraq was attacked by George Bush. No, I am just kidding. ).
7) Whenever the electricity goes, I am the one who should change the phase.

If only I had not watched the kiddy movie and spoiled my angry-young-man image…Rekha would today still be scared of me. And I would have been the Lion King!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

2 replies on “Don’t watch Lion King if you are married”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *