Driving on Delhi-Gurgaon roads

I have many colleagues who lead a tough life. I pity the colleagues who come to Gurgaon all the way from Delhi. Some of them bring packed lunch, just in case they get caught in the traffic jam. Moushmi Srivastava brings her sleeping bag too.

Some like Varghese are smart, and call up other colleagues for a lift daily. Dia Nag, who gives him a lift almost every alternate day asked me: “Know what I hate most of giving Varghese a lift?”

“What?” I asked.

“After getting into the car, he asks ‘would you mind if I catch up on some sleep`.”

A friend, who works with the Roadies team of MTV (in Mumbai, of course) recently visited ibibo and we got talking. He was pissed with something and I could sense it in his words.

“Man….you Delhi people are very demanding.”

After reminding him that I was a Dravidian from down south, I asked him why.

He said: “I wouldn`t mind if I saw a ‘Road widening in progress. Inconvenience regretted` board….but it is a big issue for me if the road is already an eight lane stretch.”

I didn`t correct him. He anyway had a tough life – wouldn`t yours be, if the only part of your car that didn`t make noise was the horn?

Anyway, whenever I have reminded him of his rickety car, he turned pale…as if he had seen a ghost. Talking of ghosts….know what is the favorite transport of a Dracula? A Blood Vessel, of course!

In the last eight months that I have been driving in Gurgaon, I have realized that the North Indian drivers should restrict themselves to just video games – there is less of blood shed.

In the initial months, whenever a Haryana registered car would cut me harsh I would show its driver my middle finger. It didn`t seem to affect them….and I didn`t know why till one of them pulled up his car in front of mine, applied the handbrakes, got out and walked up to my window.

“Why did you point one finger at me?” The tall, well-built North Indian asked.

“I am sorry….I showed you the middle finger.” I was scared. This guy could have hurled me till the nearest shopping mall.

“Why did you show me that you were first, even though I had overtaken you?” He angrily asked and walked away nodding his head. Apparently, he had won the race.

Other North Indian posts

# My adventures – Chennai to Gurgaon
# One week in North India – some observations
# Looking for a house in Gurgaon
# Saving your skin in North India
# Entering a new house in Gurgaon

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

13 replies on “Driving on Delhi-Gurgaon roads”

Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa ! Jammy ! as Arun pointed out, boy ! now u are on track 🙂

The sick ones about Air hostess were not that good.

Keep writing stuff like this..


“”Why did you show me that you were first, even though I had overtaken you?” He angrily asked and walked away nodding his head. Apparently, he had won the race.””

Welll, yes I would say.
Dont know being from the north and not lived there (just small visits in winter/summers or wedding etc) i too feel weird.

The point I would like to raise is why do they talk so LOUDLY when they are talking and if they are talking on the phone it seems like they are addressing everyone.

on the topic of “it is a big issue for me if the road is already an eight lane stretch” i have this to say when a Delhite like me goes visiting Mumbai

– I take offence when Mumbai folks refer to the tarmac they drive on as Roads. I thought thats the type we call Streets.

– The so called western express highway is narrower than the service lanes on the NH-8 and yet they call it a highway.

– All streets in Mumbai end up in dead ends except two long Highways. No wonder they never understand the question “what other routes go to the office?” its pretty much ‘this one or none’. If you happen to ask “which is the best road to office” you would be lucky if they don’t answer ‘Train’

– Train is always faster than a road in Mumbaikers’ imagination. Never mind the train stops every 2 minutes, you need to add the time taken to commute in autos to stations and that if only they had a road 8 lane wide, the train stood no chance by a wide margin.

– Getting a sweaty seat on the train is a ‘lucky day’ for the mumbaikar. In delhi we drive in an airconditioned car with our choice of songs hooked to the car stereo and only crib about the traffic. In mumbai trains the ipods earplugs would anyway slip out of your ears given that you sweat at the rate of 7 litres per minutes. You have to carry small towels pushed to your face to stop the sweat as if its a bandage to stop running blood.

– In mumbai you need 3 hours start to keep a safe margin while going to take a 1.45 hour flight to Delhi. In Delhi once you webcheckin all you need is 30 minutes even if you are half the city away at least for an early morning flight.

– Sure no one cuts ahead of your car in Mumbai as bad as they do in Delhi. But look at how mumbaikars board the goddamn local train at rush hour and the Haryanvi bad drivers would start to look almost British in their good manners by comparison.

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Since we are discussing this Driving on Delhi-Gurgaon roads | Ouchmytoe.com – An Indian's Funny Blog, issue, Another way to increase your fuel efficiency is to travel light. For every 50 pounds you drive around, you lose 0.25 mpg. Remove items you don’t need to have in your car before making your daily commute, and you’ll save a little bit of money – and every little bit helps!

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